Should I ask my female coworker out if she's giving me these signs?

[Clippers1Fan]

I (M20) have been coworkers with this girl (F18) and we’ve been working together in October 2021. I liked her ever since I saw her but we didn’t really talk at all until Thanksgiving when we just started talking to each other and we hit it off well.

since then she would talk to me every time we worked together and offer her help. At first I just thought that she was just being nice to me and that she didn’t like me in a romantic way but lately I’ve been second-guessing that.

this Saturday she wanted me to walk her to her car and Sunday she offered to share her umbrella with me when it was raining so I wouldn’t get wet and it was nice. Today she asked me a weird question that if I thought she was annoying because a coworker told her that someone said that about her and I told her that I didn’t think she was and that I thought she was the nicest person at our job. She thanked me and said that everyone at our job likes me because I'm genuine and caring.

It meant a lot that she said that but I get thrown off because she calls me dude a lot so it makes me think she just sees me as friend. She’s also nice to everyone else so it’s not that she’s just really nice to me. I’m also nervous to ask her out because if she rejects me I don’t want it to be awkward at my job (there's only 20 employees at our job and 15 of them are women) which would lead to me wanting to quit which I don’t because I like my job.

If anyone can tell me if by the info I gave that if I have a bad, 50/50, good chance of her saying yes I’d appreciate it because I need some other peoples perspectives on this.

[RearEntryGuy]

If I were you, i won't take "signs" including the word "dude" too seriously.

in my opinion, relationship starts with informal, day-to-day activities (which is already happening), follow by taking opportunities to ask her out to public places for food and drink.

Then during those "dates" (hard to draw the line between platonic and romantic), interests are shared and then romantic desires shared.

Thereafter, both decide to become a couple or not.

Hence, don't think too much. Just ask her out to non-romantic, platonic activities. After two or three such you’ll know what to do.

[ohboyohboy76]

Sounds promising, but it's hard to know for sure. You don't have to ask her out exactly. You could start with something with lower stakes, and see if anything develops.

[Anonymous]

I get where she’s coming from. Texting every day can be emotionally taxing especially if she’s an introvert. I think she’s just feeling overwhelmed about the pace that the two of you are going even tho you are already taking it slow. I also sometimes need some time away from my boyfriend especially after we’ve been texting every day and seeing each other often.

Texting too much can also lead to staleness and you won’t give each other the space to miss each other. I think you should definitely talk to her about this especially since it’s bothering you, she seems to be open about communicating her need for space but she doesn’t really talk about her reasoning behind it.

[Clippers1Fan]

She told she would explain it more to me why she needs her space (she says she does this with everyone) when we go out together on Sunday so I guess I have to be patient

[horatiohornblower]

If you wait. She might start dating some other guy. Then you've lost your chance.

Ask her if she'd like to grab a bite to eat after work, during conversation. Not really a date. But something for you to gauge her reaction. Without making it awkward. If she accepts. You'll get some time outside of work to talk with her. If she declines. Just say, "Some other time then."

All that will make it awkward is how you act and react.

[charlean]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder


She might have felt overwhelmed in a past relationship because they communicated too much everyday, causing exhaustion so she’s trying to reach a more healthy level of communication. I mean hey, at least she told you rather than ghosting u for a day or two

[PrettyPriya]

@charlean

Well said. 😊

[Clippers1Fan]

She told me she’s never been in a relationship before so maybe this is all new to her so she doesn’t know what to do? But I agree that maybe distance will make her see that she likes me

[lanakay1010]

Right now, it's probably a 50/50. I use slang terms all the time, even with guys I'm interested in. I'd say just pay attention to her body language, how she reacts to you, etc. I'd say you have a good chance, though, if everything keeps up.

[Clippers1Fan]

so I should wait and keep it how it is till she makes a move first?

[lanakay1010]

I’d say to make it slightly more obvious that you’re interested, and see how she reacts. Don’t overthink it, put yourself out there. But don’t just wait, and if she doesn’t make any moves, she could be waiting for you.

[exitseven]

Nah, if she shared her umbrella then she is into you.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[priyakigaandme]

Wait wait... Till she Indicate...

[Clippers1Fan]

so I should wait and keep it how it is till she makes a move first?

[emperor90]

Just wait and see

[Clippers1Fan]

so i should wait till she makes a move first?

[emperor90]

Good on u