Should you dress differently as a mother?

Question

I ask because I know it isn't our place to judge, but our church members today were speaking about a woman who has two kids, but still dresses and has the behavior of some 18-year-olds. Our pastor said that at the age of 38 years old, your appearance as a mother should be turned into a role model for other children to look up to. Today she was turned around at church for wearing a dress similar to the one below. the dress was extremely too tight that if she sat down, nothing will be left to imagine. No-slip or anything was under the dress at all. But as a mother, should you dress differently in a more appropriate way after you have kids?

kyleelyn199723 · Accepted Answer

I don’t necessarily agree with your church talking about this in church, but I do agree with what he is saying. Talking about this in church is very contradicting to saying “we shall not judge others” . Talking about this influences people within the church to judge mothers that go against what the pastor is preaching about. That is not an appropriate topic for church

Subarugirl · Accepted Answer

Mothers should teach their children that their bodies are not taboo, and not to over sexualize them. Purity culture does way more harm than good.

Anonymous · Answer

I disagree entirely.
While I generally agree with the whole "Judge not lest ye be judged" idea, it's in our natures as human beings to make snap judgments about others in our vicinity. Doing so is a survival trait, we'd be an evolutionary dead end and long extinct without that capacity. We must still offer compassion to those we encounter however. If Christian, one should consider looking to the many parables of Jesus for how to do so.
As to the behavior being discussed, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. How would YOU feel if your mother started dressing and acting like that? If it would have embarrassed your teenage self, maybe you should reconsider your wardrobe choices.
Church is where you go to learn Morals, how one is supposed to act in order to live a good life. It shouldn't be about gossip, so while the subject, what you should and shouldn't do, is acceptable and appropriate, it shouldn't be about any given person or example. Your pastor was correct that at that age, you should realize that you are in fact a role model for all the children around you and by your choices, words, and behaviors, you are instructing them in what is good upright moral behavior. What message is it that you want to convey to all the impressionable children out there?
If dressing that way is the only way a person can get attention, I would suggest that they consider that maybe that kind of attention isn't what they should be seeking. Maybe, they should consider improving themselves so they need not put their bodies on display quite so blatantly. There are all kinds of attention to seek out, you choose what kind of attention you will get by how you present yourself.
Something like this dress teaches little girls that the only way she can get attention from others is by displaying her body and that doing so is acceptable and normal, while it is certainly not acceptable nor normal for little girls to do so. It teaches little boys that reducing women to nothing more than their pretty bodies is acceptable and expected, and that women want that kind of attention.

ohshee · Answer

To me it sounds very hot sexy seductive that would be a good movie but your pastor should know better than to talk about people like that instead of her being turned away somebody should have just gave her a coat he came there to participate and that right there is saying a lot somebody should have been a little bit smarter I thought about that and allowed her to be there I'm sure there's a blanket a coat that would fit her just fine look we all grew up differently we all feel things differently that's what makes her feel good that's what makes her feel beautiful she tries to fit her so she tries to feel good about things in life and then you guys shut her down that's just wrong some of us mature way sooner than other people some of us get it some of us don't please set to that individual this is why I don't go to church because the pastor says to believe this and You Must Believe it or otherwise you're all wrong the pastor was wrong for doing what he did and then talking about the lady on top of it

ringmaster696 · Answer

I don't feel like a position in the family should dictate what you wear. If the 18 year-olds are allowed to wear it, I'd call it discrimination if she wasn't. You wanna play by some kinda rules, then everybody should. Now, as far as it being at church, I was raised different than that. Lower than the knee, WHEN SITTING, goes for boys too. Shorts must still be khaki, ties must still be worn and dresses, or suitable blouse and skirt, ALL with the "traditional" undergarments. BUT! If that is what someone truly believes is the best they have with the budgets and such they have, then I'm not gonna judge or say anything about it. One, it isn't my place, and two, what do someone else's beliefs have to do with my own? They don't have to agree at all, much less word for word. The Christian God commands his followers to not judge anyone else. You don't have all the details of their story. That really may be the best they have to present themselves to Him in. There's always more than one side to a coin.

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

Dress differently? Nah, I just dress comfortably. Always have.

Most times that means I'm gonna rock jeans and a blouse of some sort. Sometimes I feel like a low cut top that shows cleavage. Sometimes I put my hair up in ponytails, sometimes pigtails, but most times I leave it down.

Being a mom is part of who I am, but it doesn't define everything I have to be. My self expression whether it be by what I say, write or wear are a reflection of my thoughts, not of my parenting status.

ep124 · Answer

Ok so. Despite the whole "judging in church" which is kinda ironic and the obvious "each wear what he wants"... i'd say yes.

The clothes you are wearing send a message. Coming in a black suit mean you want things to be professional and serious. Coming in a casual stuff mean you'll want things to be nice and relax, coming into pajama mean you don't care anymore. A well chosen clothes mean a lot of care gicen to external symbol, the old combo jeans t-shirt that it doesn't matter. A veil is usually linked to spirituality and humilité, a string to sex positivity,...

The qurstion now is: what kind of message is she sending? Are the transmitted values good?

Now, mother are seen as important member of society. Maybe not as much as international expert and president but still...

So, knowing they gain some "moral autority", do you think new mother should care about the value they share?

Your answer to that will be my answer to the question

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

Tell the pedo pastors that the should shut tf up, should not fuck gossib like a teenage girl about a mother and should act like his age. He can talk about pedo pastors instead of critizising women. Pastors themself ain't a good example. And kids ain't sexualize women. People who think kids get triggered by some naked skin, is pervert, pedo etc in my opinion. Kids also get breast fed and by the logic of retarded people kids also would be triggered by their mum's breasts. These people are stupid as f.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I thnk both mother AND father should act as role models for their children, but it is up to each parent to decide for himself or herself what that means. I would not be eager to defend the woman who is dressing so provocatively, but I would remind the busybodies at church of the admonition of Matthew 7:1: "Judge not, that ye be not judged." Her sin is no greater than theirs.

libsaretards · Answer

Yes, how you dress and behave should change when you become a parent. You have a high level of responsibility that you did not have before having kids. Even without kids, a 38 year-old trying to dress like a teen/young adult is embarrassing and shows you are going through some type of crisis. There is a thing called acting your age.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

You already have 50+ opinions, not gonna go through all of them, BUT! People at church speaking of some other person 😐, YEAH, very christian thing to do. Ar role model as a mother by wearing clothes like it's the 1700's, am gonna skip that too. Look! No matter what you do or wear you will get judged. Am 37 years old, if i wear jeans and hoodie people tell me to get over my self am old i should wear something more proper, so i wear suits! ''Now you are trying too hard'' people say. If i wear pants and a shirt! '' So you just give up now huh'' . So! Fuck what people think, wear what you like, if people can't handle it! MEH, it's not your problem.

imjustadude · Answer

I think if one should dress differently as a mom then they should have already been doing that when they were married? I don't know but if you are a woman who is advertising herself as on the market and you dress a particular way so guys know that you are available it is kind of dishonest if you aren't and are really just looking for the attention that comes from being sought after. The woman in question seems to have bigger behavioral problems and dresses the way she does because she doesn't want to grow up and accept responsibility. She would rather role play being a sexy 18 year old looking to score. This is all to distract her from what she should be doing. With all that said. That dress is fine in the picture. That thong underneath will cover up all the lady bits.

Apple1996 · Answer

No every woman should dress however she feels comfortable regardless she has kids or not. I have kids and have not changed how I dress/my style and I don't see why I would since my kids literally don't even notice what type of clothes I'm wearing so it'd be stupid to do that

Starla1234 · Answer

Nope people should be able to dress however they want to no matter what their age, status or whether they have kids or not. A mum who embraces her style and is confident and secure in herself and what she wears is a WAY better role model than a mother who hides behind clothes that aren’t really her because that’s the ‘right way for a mother to dress’ according to society.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Pretty sure if jesus was here right now, he would happily greet anyone into his church, because thats what love is. So for a church to turn around someone because of dress code goes firmly against what jesus taught. I was turned away from a Sunday service while on vacation because i was in shorts and a t shirt. The question was how moms should dress. I asked my wife. She said whatever is comfy. Lol.

soe11 · Answer

Religion is relationship between you and your God.
You can wear anything outside of religious building.
I am not a religious person, myself secular liberal person and my girlfriend is Muslim background but non practicing liberal female as well as her family too.
Above dress is nothing wrong wearing publicly.
You should keep religion in church.

zaharuh · Answer

I agree like I think I would dress differently once I'm a mom

Fireguy17 · Answer

I don't know if you should is the best way to ask, I'm thinking depending on how someone dressed to start with that they may want to dress differently for practical reasons.
That $300 designer blouse may not look so good covered in kid puke, and dry cleaning bills can add up.
Also trying to chase after a toddler in 6 inch heels might put you at a distinct disadvantage.
Those carpet lizards are fast!

Anonymous · Answer

Mother or no mother, it's generally a good idea not to show up at church looking like your trolling for dick. Just not a good look. But yeah--if you have kids you DO need to think of the impact of your actions (and your image) on your kids. It's not fair to the kids to make them known as the kids of the town whore.

linka_pat307 · Answer

I think the way mothers dress really affect the child's way of growing up especially girls

Anonymous · Answer

I believe there’s a time to dress up and a time to dress down. Like if I was 60 years old, I wouldn’t go to a date in a fancy restaurant with a tank top and hat, with shorts. You dress appropriately to the situation. Plus, it’s a church, who are you trying to impress?

Massageman · Answer

I would think that a mom would want to be more conservative in her dressing, yes.

but I digress -

A friend of ours- a mid-age gal with kind of expensive tastes- wore what was almost a "skating skirt". It really was awful on her. While she is not a heavy gal, the cut and style made her look so. The result was a very trashy (in every way) look that could easily have been avoided by wearing almost ANYthing else. Wear appropriate clothing.

noohair · Answer

My guess is the kids she has might be embarrassed. But I fail to see how this becomes church business. Is there a written dress code for your church? Without something in writing, you might be offended, but she could get a lawyer and now this become a legal issue. You want her covered up, your church should also cover their own behind legally, so she can't claim discriminations.

DCooper · Answer

Was she sweating? (Like a whore in church) I always wondered if that saying was legit; but I don't do church lol.

Anonymous · Answer

I can only say I wouldn't marry a woman who dressed like that nor would I have children with her, but hell I wouldn't even approach her to ask her out so no worries. Also if I was her son I'd be pissed and embarrassed by her and avoid being seen with her. A church is allowed to enforce a dress code same as any night club, bar, or other establishment. If she doesn't like it she can leave.

slatyb · Answer

Wow, your church is fucked up. Here’s a song for you:

Djaay · Answer

The way a woman dresses is between her and God. She will be addressed as she dresses..

dowser19 · Answer

Allegedly... hmmm. Where there's smoke, there's... you know. "Allegedly" gang actvity, drugs AND sex with students-followed up the public display... my father used to say once is an accident, twice is a pattern. Doesn't seem like she's doing her best to disprove the accusations and stay under the radar, if she's innocent of all these accusations. That's what most likely concerns the pastor-hes just using the parenting/role model angle because that's something that a lot of churches talk about.

Srij23 · Answer

Having sex with students or doing drugs or being part of gang are her personal choices which would lead to anti social behaviour and you definitely should not do as mother.

But if you want to arouse harmonal teenage kids, you can definitely dress sexy and drop your children at school 🎒 . 😜😜

AviatorTom · Answer

As a mother, a woman should not dress provocatively, it might embarrass her school-age children. A mother can, and should dress nicely, just don't overdo it. Her time of dressing to attract men is over.

Luopio27 · Answer

Who am I to Judge how people dress? I would prefer mothers and nn mothers to dress casually ans avoid that steeet whore dress code.

lycanthrope3 · Answer

She should dress to suit herself, not to please others

dustybiker · Answer

I kind of feel bad for her. She seems to think that is the only way she can be happy. Yes, it’s attention. But if she dressed sharp and sexy she’d get a whole other type of attention. Classy.

Guido · Answer

Most would dress more conservative going to church but how she dresses other times is her business. Maybe it's her work clothes and she is trolling for new business.

Chrissydamusicgirl · Answer

I say do whatever you want. I won’t change the way I dress period. But it’s up to you and what you want for yourself

kellytheman · Answer

Maybe wear a longer dress no panties or if none panties should be showing maybe have a little cleavage but your bra should not be showing. Mom's need to dress like mom's but they can still be sexy with some class.

Doflamingo1 · Answer

I don’t think anyone should wear that in church. You should wear appropriate dresses for certain events.

Paul09 · Answer

I still don't understand why people goto church or are religious period. They say dont judge, but they judge the hardest

Hangry06 · Answer

Maybe. I know i wouldn't want my parents living the 18 year old lifestyle

NorthwestRider · Answer

Pastors are not very smart. They are simple minded fools  Plus how being a mom means that you need to dress differently

najekim · Answer

A church needs to stay out of personal lives. A person's life is their own. Not a church's. If the lady has reason to dress the way she does, regardless of style, it's her business.

Better_off_here · Answer

yeah please do not dress like a whore if you have a child :)

Anonymous · Answer

I mean it doesn’t seem appropriate for her to dress that way at church, but however she wants to dress outside of church is her business.

John_Doesnt · Answer

Sounds nice.

Grubhub · Answer

The girl who dressed in the blue with the boobs showing. I wouldn’t be able to control myself. That’s why dudes ain’t loyal

Slim57 · Answer

Mothers and women these days should if they want any respect anyway

Anonymous · Answer

If you got the body, rock it if you wanna! Keeping a fit body, especially after kids (and during kids) is HARD and the haters are mostly just jealous they didn't put in the work!

Anonymous · Answer

Well it doesn't hurt to be modest but if you have a good heart and soul then physical appearance doesn't have much meaning to it. Seen burkas wearing girls being real bad too

Jamie05rhs · Answer

The answer is yes. Parents should be responsible and set a good example. Be mature and be someone your kids can look up to.

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

Of course not. You do you and fuck anyone who judges.

OddBeMe · Answer

Children need to see their mothers and fathers as “asexual” until we’ll after puberty. Just read up on serial killers for proof.

dragoblack · Answer

No. You just how you want. You're an adult, make your own choices on how you dress yourself

Anonymous · Answer

As far as I know Jesus doesn't care how his followers dress.

Twalli · Answer

If you're single and looking for a guy, then maybe not, otherwise you should.

Edward02 · Answer

the woman should dress modestly, being religious or not... being a mother or not

Anonymous · Answer

It seems like she has other problems more pressing than her dress.

PeterSmith1983 · Answer

How do you know she had no underwear on?

hbkfan · Answer

Well they do have maternity clothes for a reason

boobliker · Answer

WHY why and WHY you look good in that dress

888theGreat · Answer

that is why you became a mother

lpoots · Answer

its your body  its your choice

Jasminerojo · Answer

I say no? My mom always uses dresses

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