What are some signs he is a douche bag? For example rape-y, cheats, self obsessed?

Question

for women, We are great at spotting crazy’s among ourselves that men might not notice right away. I’ve heard that men are also great at spotting complete dicks that maybe women have a hard time realizing until it’s too late. What are some subtle signs that a man might be not just an ass hole (cause a little of that is kinda hot) but a human piece of shit.

wtf636 · Accepted Answer

It's kind of true. Men and women can learn to find the snakes in the grass, but it takes getting bit a few times before you learn their ways. lol. It's much more instinctual with men and men, and women and women.

As a man, who is generally a good guy, but has had my "douchey" moments. I can tell you a few things to look out for.

- Is he asking you out on dates? Not just inviting you over to his house. Going out requires a certain amount of effort, that a man who is not interested in you at least a bit will not put forth unless he is interested. That also required him being seen with you in public. House dates at first = Lazy or ashamed to be seen with you.

- So you have been on a few dates. Things seem to be going well. Does he introduce you to any of his friends, let you know he is talking about you to them, or his family? Does he mention wanting to do things in the future? All signs he is taking you seriously. If this stuff comes up and he avoids it, or doesn't give you a straight answer, he could just view you as someone to pass the time.

- What is his career like? Does he like it? Does he just have a dead end job? A man that doesn't take this stuff seriously, is someone that doesn't take life seriously. Most women out here expect a man that has his shit together, not saying you need a rich man, but find someone with good potential. Not just the hot guy that works retail, he will disappoint you every time.

- As far as him being the cheating type. I would see what he does with his phone. Does he set it down screen side down all the time? If you pick it up does he get nervous, try and get it back from you? Could be a sign that you aren't the only woman he is talking to, and doesn't want you to see any incriminating evidence on his phone. When I have nothing to hide, I don't give a shit if my girl touches my phone or knows my password.

- Also, how hot is he? Like be honest? Way out of your league? Doesn't really happen much with women, but a hot guy is 10x worst than a hot woman in terms of being faithful. Men want women in general, a hot woman is nice, but they will be fine with one that they are attracted to and is faithful. Women all want the hot guy. The same one. You are all throwing yourselves at the same type of man in the world, and that guy has so many options, and the drive to conquer them all, that you would be hard pressed to get that hot guy to commit in the way you want him too. Until he has gotten older and learned his lesson. Hot people in general also have crazy expectations, because the world has given them so much attention, it can be exhausting to keep up with. Find a 6-8 not a 9-10. Believe me.

That's just a few things I could think of.

Jackblue · Accepted Answer

There is no absolute way of being certain, but one thing I just thought of is if a guy is one of those people who can't endure being shushed or scolded about something like being told he can't sit where he is sitting. If he can't endure that he might not be able to take rejection or he might feel entitled to sleep around. An example is Harold Hill from The Music Man in the library scene if someone sushes him he has to sush back and he stalks the librarian until she finally agrees to go on a date with him. He is also as you know if you have seen it, a conman.

icelolly · Accepted Answer

* A general lack of respect towards people.
* Observe how he treats people who are beneath them, people who could absolutely do nothing for him.. most people aren't nice to them and treat them like shit.
* Goes on badmouthing about his family? Look at his equation with the females of his family. His mom esp. (doesn't applies when his family/Mom is toxic)
* How does he talk about his ex/exes? Disdain? Disrespect? Only their negatives?
* Is he borderline narcissistic? Having a high self esteem and dignity is great but it's not the same as glossing over his own personality and clean skating their image and refusing to accept any mistakes or wrongdoings on their part.

Ps- all the points apply to all human beings as a whole. Not really being gender specific here.