Do most women like men who are providers?

Question

If given a choice, do you think a woman would not wanna work?

OpenClose · Accepted Answer

I mean if we want to talk about this issue we may have to get specific. Because frankly, everyone likes someone who provides something. And damn near everyone likes it when their partner is rich and/or has a prestigious title.

So to me, that wouldn't be the question. Your second one would be the more accurate one. Like does she prefer a good provider because a good provider is nice to have around. Or does she demand a good provider so that she can have him do that part so she doesn't have to?

I dated girls who, once their careers got started, would have undoubtedly been the breadwinner. One was pre-med studying for her MCAT so she could go to school for neurosurgery. I was an engineer. So she would be making like 500k+ and I would be making around 100k. Clearly she didn't want me for my paycheck, and just liked the fact that she could date a guy that she could talk technical with. Which is exactly what I liked about her as well.

But on the exact opposite of the spectrum, there were girls in a social justice group I was in who *insisted* that, as they put it, "If a man doesn't make enough money to provide for the two of them, he is a misogynist. A woman should always have a right to choose, and if he doesn't make enough for both of them, then she has no choice but to get a job as well. He is infringing on her right to choose." It is silly at best. But demanding that he shouldn't have a choice so that she could have one? That's downright misandry. Saying choice is a human right and that it doesn't apply to him.

I do, however, think there are plenty of women who prefer not to work. Or more specifically, prefer not to work-for-pay in a 9-5. Like, there are a lot of women, one of my sisters included, who prefer to be able to focus on the home and kids. Her husband certainly isn't making her do that. She just wants to, and appreciates the work he does that gives her that option. It isn't something she demands from him. In some cases, he's been between jobs, or they're saving for a bigger house, and she was more than willing to go out and get a job in the meantime. I personally think that's how the working husband/SATM dynamic should work. It's when women demand this and say "men SHOULD be the primary provider" that I have a problem with it.

But I know at least as many women who prefer their careers. So I wouldn't say this is some broad-sweeping thing. Just that a larger proportion of women than men want to be stay-at-home parents.

Kaamraj · Accepted Answer

Most certainly, this has been the case for millions of years. A relationship and ultimately marriage has always been seen as a transaction bw a man's resource provisioning exclusivity and a woman's sexual-reproductive exclusivity. There is a reason why, whenever one talks about the top ten percentage of men as per the sexual mean value (SMV), income is universally considered.

concerned4u · Accepted Answer

I think it's a loaded question. For one, a lot of woman want both to be working, no 'free loaders'. However, the question ponders that women who are 'stay at home' don't 'work', which isn't true. I've never noticed this to be the case, let's say with 'stay home moms'. That means that they are homeschooling, and being a teacher is 'work', she 'would' be getting paid in the school system. So, that means 'both' man and woman are doing 'work'. It's just that the man, in that situation, considers it more valuable that the children learn in a one- on- one environment. So, he is working to have a private tutor, cleaning woman, sitter of his children, I know many who can jellies and veggies, and work the land (homesteaders). So, it's not 'easy street' for those who choose to do this, financially, it takes a woman who says "look, I want to go against societal norms no matter the cost. I don't want my children to be bullied, I want them to have these sets of values, etc... A lot of them think up creative side jobs as well for added household income (jewelry parties, a blog, making nut/fruit bars). Almost impossible to have two people together now where one doesn't work. Therefore, it's very rare that a man solely 'provides', he is getting a service just as much as she. it's a sacrifice and not a 'cushy' arrangement.
Now... if a woman stays home and does nothing and the man works, well, often times (scary but true), that man may have a hidden agenda. It's very difficult to get away and start a new life when you have no income to do this with. So, it can hint towards potential abuser of some kind.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I like financially independent men as i like men who can cook, clean or can wash themself, rush their teeth etc. This is has nothing to with traditional values. These are survival skills. Noone is a golddigger or prostitute for prefering a person with survival skills. This may not be about providers
In my experience women who prefere providers are middleeastern and Asian because their men suck at cooking, cleaning, looking after their kids (!!!). So if i am going to marry a middleeastern which i have to, i will prefere that he is a provider even though i ain't traditional but i know i will end up doing the so called traditional women tasks (?).

Anonymous · Answer

Most women want providers and most men want women who are nurturing.

I’m a nurturer in that I like to cook, clean, and take care of others. I see myself as a devoted housewife (& mother once I have children) who will take care of her husband, the home, and kids. That’s why I prefer a man who is a provider and would want his wife to be comfortable so that she can focus on the domestic duties while he focuses on the financial.

I want to workout, take care of my body and looks for him, take care of the home, and have a home cooked meal for him when he comes from work. And then I want to have tons of sex with him lol.

My dad has always been the provider while my mom was a housewife and stay at home mom. She was allowed to work if she wanted to (and she did work part time while I was in school), but she was never forced, or expected to, by him. She took care of the bills, finances, home, cooking, cleaning, kids, etc while my dad worked hard to provide for us.

She still looks so good for her age to this day because she has a man who takes care of her and she him.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

I love my job and I enjoy making a customer happy making sales on new fashion trends. Being a house wife sounds good to but just an example because I am a divorce woman but if I was married and the husband wanted me to stay home and raised the kids. I wouldn't be blowing off his money I would be cutting out coupons , Getting the best cheapest deals. Buying used items cooking at home no going out to restaurants. Doing everything to save up cash. Some feminist are going to hate my answer but I am just being honest.

Apulu_3 · Answer

Honestly I won't give up my dreams and future career for a man. I value it too much and I also literally became depressed and even suicudal due to it. Yet I didn't gave up my hopes. So why will I even not want to work when I will love my work? Yes it's a great point that the man is financially stable and can be the provider but I want a relationship with me and him both as a provider equally. I like being independent so housewife isn't my thing. Honestly I'm more of a workaholic person. I will rather give up on a relationship rather than on my long dreams which I had since 2 years.

Guy13 · Answer

I’ve never met a woman I was dating seriously, post criminal, credit, and medical backgrounds together, say, “damn, I can’t be with you…you’ve got multiple properties in your name.” What kind of question is this? Of course women value men who have a drive to provide for their’s.

-Enjoy your Intelligent Design and both pop out babies and preserve our Being. Women are in-charge self-preservation…the same Self that knows innately that there is an Eternality which will keep ourselves preserved. You do not need to emulate a man. It’s not fun and often consuming mentally and physically
-Believe me, you do not want the responsibility of Money making, keeping away from Government, keeping, best uses, and growing it. I would give it over in a heartbeat…

WonderBell99 · Answer

Sure, I would prefer it if my partner had a job (after he finishes college, of course) but I would never date a man who wants me to be a housewife and asks me to just sit and look pretty. That’s simply not me.

Financial independence is something that everyone needs. Why would you depend on someone else to provide you with money when you can work and earn for yourself? When you depend on someone else for money, you become COMPLETELY dependent on them for every single thing.

TransAm85 · Answer

I wasn't raised to be a housewife, hence my loss of interest in having kids. I would be bored out of my mind if my husband was the only one working. Sure, some women like to go blow their husband's $$, but that's the man's fault for letting them do it. Pussy is not gold but I guess men are dumb enough sometimes to fall for it. I feel more satisfied buying my own material things w/my money. He can pay the bills! lol I'll help w/the taxes lol.

Anonymous · Answer

It's funny I already posed the question "If you had the choice of NOT working. Like if you had enough to never work again, would you"? And most women responded that they would still work. Some said they would be more inclined to pursue what they loved but they'd still work. Based on this it suggests that women like to work, derive a sense of meaning fromm it. So I would guess based on that they want to know a man CAN provide for them and their future offspring. Not because it IS a need but MAY be a need.

Chaneille · Answer

Yeahh most of us do. I do work as well , I'm not interested in being a stay at home parent. But I like a man who's financially stable. We can use my money to take care of the bills and everything else , we can then use his for investments, savings, expedition etc. I think that's how a relationship should work when it comes to financial matters.

dscott · Answer

Women will provide for the right guy every woman has a guy she will buy gifts for and support women will climb mountains for the right man become the man that women want to do stuff for because they aren't lazy they just need to respect you and find you attractive

VanillaSalt · Answer

No I think women want to option to work… they would rather not be in the workplace or work a few hours for helping the home but overall most people would rather work less and make more. Once they have enough they tend to not try any harder to make more.

Matthew812 · Answer

I am almost ready to retire that's a double-edged sword on the job situation I would love to sit on my ass at the house and watch TV and drink beer I would love to be a kept man but I will get so damn bored and frustrated from lack of inactivity I'd have to have a hobby and it would end up being something outdoors and hard work so if I'm going to be outdoors real hard work I really pay for it I would have to have a job or I'd go crazy

Kaylapremi · Answer

I LOVE having my own money. I can not live off someone. If we end up separating what would I have? I’m the same way with sharing money. I want my own bank account and my own money. If you have to share make sure you hustle with your own account 😅 I value a man who busts his butt for his family though. If I’m doing it I want my man too. You should both want bigger and better things. House, cars and investments.

DermalPunch · Answer

If she doesn't want to leave the house and grind up the corporate ladder and be in her masculine energy all day, I think she has a right to find a man who will provide for her. But, she still has to work and make home the closest thing to heaven in earth for him after out there grinding tondo this for her. So she should still be working. And they should bith spil each other with love, loyalty and affection.

GlassTop · Answer

I think a woman would be ok with working if it was something they loved. If it was hard work, i’m sure they’d rather be home with family or relaxing being taken care of. Lots of men wouldn’t mind taking care of a girl and providing for her if she was cute and sex was good. It would motivate him to work harder. Obviously it’s a lot better if both work and have plans together.

kellytheman · Answer

Nah I think they like to work maybe not during while they are having kids and be a housewife and mom. Maybe as kids get older and can take care of themselves she should like to go out and work if she wants. For women that like being a provider I think they need a man.

Paul09 · Answer

First who loves to work? Unless you are a lucky one and does what you live for a living. Imagine working your ass off daily to provide for someone, how does that sound fun? Why not Ave both doing their part? 50 - 50! And that way probably get rich faster and retire earlier. Not work till your 70ish..

Anonymous · Answer

I love the word "providers" lol, and I believe this absolutely as pretty much all women are looking for this when dating. They do a good job at disguising it sometimes, but that's what they want to know for sure. And sadly that's how history has "trained" women to be (and men for that matter). It's not 1920 anymore! Times have changed... A LOT! But who wouldn't like this? We men would like that too if it were reversed. So much talk about "equality" today, well lets start HERE!

shaysh87 · Answer

No. I don't. I'd rather marry a poor man who can make me laugh, smile, have the best time in my life than some rich guy who can't make me laugh, boring as hell. There are some things that money can't buy.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Maybe most but i can't depend on a dude. He could change his mind. He could die. We could breakup. And so on... Its best that everyone build their own empire. We can love eachother without having to share our hard earnings

Hanrej · Answer

I don't think anyone "wants to work". People do it for their own independence, not wanting or able to trust a partner these days to provide longterm.

I think a great number of men too would just stay at home if they trusted a woman to provide (Hahaha) but that's not very likley.

Sonorous · Answer

Yes. Even the women who do work & make a lot of money prefer their men to be providers. It's why they'd rather date their equivalent or higher in the financial hierarchy due to natural hypergamy.

whereismyjohnny · Answer

I don’t like this whole men as provider thing. I want to work and have my own career. I don’t want to depend on anyone. It would be nice if we both hustled so we can have nice life.

IDontBelieveIt · Answer

The problem with being materialistic is its shallow when things go financially bad what are they going to do then? I HATE USERS you have to take the rough with the smooth if they dont like it and always want to be leaches then stay single

Seinna · Answer

Most women like men who can afford to be providers, regardless if they want them to provide (ie be a housewife) or not. Women generally seek security, especially if they want to have children.

KrisPW · Answer

I would like my man to be a provider, but I still want to work as well. I would feel more comfortable not having to worry about starving should one of us get injured or lose our job for a while.

Apple1996 · Answer

Yep love a man that provides. I currently don't work cause there is just no reason for me to. I'm busy at home raising kids, my hubby works. It's the best situation for us.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe it’s be poor in me, but yes. I’ve grown up in a rough, abusive, and poor household. Both parents didn’t have anything to their name at all. I would feel safer and more secure with a provider. But that’s just me lol

weysally · Answer

I think its about 50/50, I think some women like to be taken care of, but some want to be of intendant means, I fit in both

Cathy7734 · Answer

At the school I go to my friends always talk about marrying a rich man. But these women will also have good careers, like nursing.

jshm2 · Answer

Nope. Not if they want to stay under a roof. These days it's common for both to work, and even the kids to chip into the family.

TyLeeAndPink · Answer

I’d like my husband to have a job, but I still want to work. I’ve been looking forward to a career my entire life. I’m not giving it up

Adam1978 · Answer

Yes, if I could just live my life spending without risks, I wouldn't want one either.

Alyssa_11 · Answer

I do even if I have my own job. It just feels nice to have masculine energy in your life. The whole protector provider thing.

tomorrow2839 · Answer

i dont. I like to work, to make my own path and money, life is to enjoy with a partner. Having only 1 income can cause many stress into a any relationship.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I enjoy going to work and basically suffer from a melt down if Im not working. However, I strongly believe that more money is better than less and would want my partner to provide some income as well.

Andro36 · Answer

For different reasons I have been the provider in the last few years. I have a great job and I don't have kids so it hasn't been so difficult. If I get the chance to not work I still would do it but only because I love my work

fonduegirl · Answer

I don't. I would like a person who earns for himself or herself, but that's it. No providing.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

I'd like to work less but I think I would go crazy if I didn't work at all

MCheetah · Answer

Yes. Most women love to suck money from men, if given the chance.

sheikalana · Answer

I do like men who are providers not solely financially tho since I can provide myself anything I want and I wouldn't give up on my career for a man.

JackBlackHeartAttack · Answer

I think if given the choice, 95% of people would not work if they had to. If I knew I would be set for life and live comfortably, I wouldn't be working right now.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Nobody desires work unless its something they are passionate about. And of course women like men who can provide or at least contribute something to the household and family.

Deku2009 · Answer

No I want to share the responsibility unless we Winn a massive lottery then both of us wouldn’t have to work.

Jay3344 · Answer

I think they appreciate that. If he’s a total asshole they may not like the person but may respect the drive. I don’t know though

kerrieberry03 · Answer

Yes I want a guy who is a provider. My boyfriend is. But I also want to be able to work too and do something I enjoy.

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

I think she would and she should want to work. Funny enough according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics women make up most of the workforce in the US today.  So clearly they do.

michael1469 · Answer

The few times the stars have aligned for me, i was totally fine with a woman not working. Assuming, the money i had was spent wisely, house was cleaned, and she was always ready.

FatherJack · Answer

Human females are hard wired to seek a provider & protector in a man , evolutionary biology at work.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I'll only marry a girl who adores becoming a devoted housewife

Valso · Answer

All women are gold diggers and then they wonder why men objectify them and see them only as means for sex, LOL

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. I want a man that can provide but also want the freedom to work.

front2back · Answer

Considering that is supposed to be the natural order of things, yes.

historectomy · Answer

if given the choice i wouldn't work so i can not blame anyone else who does

Nagatoro · Answer

I would dedicate my whole entire being to my future husband

Darine123 · Answer

I don’t know most women but I do and I see women around me like it too

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Yea but many men dont want to be taken advantage off

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Women never want to admit this but yes they do want it very badly.

htmndg183 · Answer

A woman can be a provider too. Just because its the norm doesn't mean it will always be the case.

SomeRandomGirl33 · Answer

No, we don't need money, gifts, or really anything. People like me appreciate their kindness, humor, and in most cases, their looks.

Chthou95 · Answer

Of course they do. This is where hypergamy comes into play

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