What's up with the cognitive dissonance of some women saying they want a man/partner or husband yet have a revolving door of new hookups?

[Anonymous]

I don't really know how to summarize this in a question, but I have a friend that is extremely attractive and sleeps around a lot yet complains all the time about guys she's with/wants and she loves choosing/chasing after guys that don't want her while sleeping with different guys (she also over commits to dudes way too early)... it doesn't make any sense because she wants a man to be loyal to her yet is out roaming around for new men quite frequently AND the most upsetting to me is I know/known plenty of women like this and I find it so asinine and infuriating the hypocrisy of it all.

Some people are just selfish and refuse to accept reality

Some people are just unaware of their two-sidedness and double standards

They know but they just don't care

I don't understand what you mean

[Femphile_xoxo]

I mean she's not cheating on anyone, is she? So she hookups with people and wants a relationship at the same time. She's not in a committed relationship but wants one and while she's not in a committed relationship, she sleeps with people. You're kinda sound way too worked up about this. I mean you're her friend, not her boyfriend. If you want to take umbrage about it just tell her something ig...

[Asker]

Yeah but it's the same as someone claiming they want to lose weight & get in shape but refuses to workout or eat healthy... my issue with this is her (and many other girls I've known) will say how much they like someone and will be in quasi relationship with them yet will still go out and hookup with other people regularly (like my friend has) and that I have experienced and it's so ridiculous & ludicrous... how can they claim to like someone so strongly yet go out and have sex with someone else so casually? Why would any guy want to commit to that?

[Femphile_xoxo]

Maybe cause she's a full-grown person and adults often say stuff they have no intention of carrying through with. Who knows, maybe she fears commitment but wants it. I don't know her well enough.

[Asker]

Well she does have bordline personality disorder so that's probably a major factor but I've noticed this with some many other girls/women that it's destroyed my perspective of the opposite sex (there's other aspects that have contributed to that but whatever)

[Femphile_xoxo]

LMAO. Sorry, your friend has BPD and you at some point knew other girls who acted the same way and don't know enough to really know why (because you haven't asked them). And because a handful of girls say they want a relationship while they're hooking up with people (despite not being in a committed relationship), your idea of women has been changed. That's like if I said, "This man bumped into me yesterday and didn't apologize, therefore all men are clumsy and are heartless."

[Asker]

Okay, what do you suggest than?

[Femphile_xoxo]

Are you interested in her or sm? I mean are you trying to change her or something? I'd just say leave it. If she complains to you and you don't want to hear it, just tune her out. She's your friend not your girlfriend.

[Asker]

I'd say when we 1st started hanging out I was fairly interested but her past & behavior/choices really turned me off (kind of hard to want to pursue someone when they admitted to always having unprotected sex & getting chlamydia and spreading it to multiple people along with a barrage of other red flags) I guess my issue is I keep coming around women like this and I can't let go of past/traumatic experiences.

[Femphile_xoxo]

Yikes... Being interested in a woman and then realizing she's not who you thought who she was isn't a traumatic experience. But alr. Gl with her ig? I mean I'm kind of at a loss with what you're wanting. If I had a friend like that I'd cut her off because I'm couldn't hang with someone who doesn't value her partners' sexual health.

[Asker]

I'm referring to other women (not her) when I was alluding to traumatic experiences, I just dont feel like giving a detailed Amber Heard/Johnny Depp like explanation/example to illustrate that point ALSO because that wasn't the main subject I wanted to focus on. But I agree, there were somethings I found out about her that had me thinking I should not continue talking to her no matter how attractive I find her.

[Anonymous]

Some things are hard to follow and people aren't as smart when young. I have a cognitive dissonance saying I want to look like a bodybuilder yet I'll eat a revolving door of donuts and burgers. I accepted reality and realized bad food will ruin my body, just like how they will realize hooking up will ruin their chances of finding a husband

[Asker]

Nicely said, it's responses like this that actually make me not want to delete my g@g account no matter how abysmal some of the feedback I get on here is... but that cognitive dissonance is definitely a problem when certain luxuries/opportunities come too easy, I definitely had my fair share of mistakes in the past (mainly due to inexperience & inaction) it seems like things only got harder but now I don't care as much anymore.

[OlderAndWiser]

The ability to be hypocritical and live a life of double standards is the coping mechanism that keeps the unthinking masses ignorant but blissful.

[Asker]

I think we are all guilty of this in someways... just most on smaller scales ⚖️

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, the difference between insanity and the psychopathology of everyday life is simply a matter of degree.

[IMuser]

Ask her this: why a man will choose a woman who keeps hooking up and complaining about being a single? He can always get a woman whose dream is being monogamous...

[dolemite89]

cuz women wanna have their cake and eat it too 😂 always pay attention to their actions and not their words.

[Asker]

Sounds very PUA but sadly true

[Guy__]

All three options you offered likely exist

[Anonymous]

You sound jealous and bitter.

[Asker]

How so?

[In_Trance]

That's a great pic

[Asker]

Her name is Desi Johnson, she's an Australian track/fitness chick... she's insanely attractive lol