He says that we just don't "click" anymore...

[Anonymous]

this is coming from my best friend of 7 years. it doesn't make sense to me... we can hang out, talk for hours, do whatever and have fun... but he said we just don't click anymore and that I'm not his best friend anymore. when/how did this happen? is there there anything I can do? it just seemed so sudden and unapparent to me.

[a319dr]

I'm going through what you are right now...my best friend now...she is a girl...I'm a guy...usually what happens...is someone starts to like the other person...and it goes down hill...so he is trying to make you go away...without hurting your feelings...it's worse then breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend...but it does happen...unless you are willing to get with him...it's pretty much done...or unless you give him space and let some of the emotions die off...and maybe he will come back...but friends come and go...sorry to be so brutual...but being honest...Good Luck

[Asker]

it's strange. we've always liked each other off and on. just at different times... no, that's not brutal really. I'm the one who wants to walk away from this friendship, but he's really trying to be nice. idk. I'll have to talk to him about this. maybe it's better if we just sever ties forever?

[a319dr]

The fact is you two have feelings for one another...maybe it's insecurity about your feelings towards one another...The last piece of advice I will offer is one of you two need to step up and just say hey let's date...or we need to walk away...just stop with the games...and quit dating other people and try each other...if it doesn't work...then yes walk away...I finally confronted my ex best friend and she said no...so I walked...it's hurts but now I know

[Asker]

yeah, oddly enough, I really do agree with you. I think I just want him to want me... and everyone thinks he's just trying to deny the fact he wants me. so you think it's impossible to be just friends?

[a319dr]

Once those feelings are identified...it takes time for them to go away...if you stay around him...if he dates someone or you date someone...its an emotional "circle jerk"...it will take time to be just friends again...possibly years or never at all...that's the honest truth

[Asker]

oh. well, the funny thing is, we keep identifying them and then we both decide we don't like each other anymore and then we do it all over again! so what do I do? really just stop being friends all together?

[a319dr]

That's what I mean by emotional "circle jerk"...I tell you what...just kiss the guy and tell him...I want more then friendship...go for it...if he says no...then at that point...at least you know...and it's time to move on...for your emotions sake :)

[Asker]

hm. OK. I should do it. this should be interesting. great..

[digital_haze]

Another vote for he loves you but realizes you will never have him.

I've contemplated doing this with my best friend who is a girl. I love her unquestionally, but its not returned in the slightest, so every day with her is a day in pain.

[a319dr]

Yep...exactly where I am at bro...I just told started avoided her...but did doing it gradually...she is getting the hint

[Asker]

ah. yeah, well after what he did to me last summer it'd be pretty hard to take him back right now. I'm already having a hard time being friends with him, part of me just wants to walk away forever. It's not even that I don't love him back... it's just that he and I have done this thing for years where we like each other at different times and then we somehow deem it inconvenient to try to date. my friends say he's really trying to be good to me again though. last summer he pretended to like me

[elements]

My best friend (who is a girl) and I have been best friends for about 6 years, and we've never had a time where we haven't "clicked".

So, I guess I'm not much help, lol. I don't know how what he said makes sense, and to me, if you've been best friends for that long... I dunno. One or both of you would have to have changed drastically for you two to suddenly not "click" anymore, if that makes sense.

Anyways, I'm sorry this happened.

[Asker]

that's alright. that helps anyway. he has changed, but not that much... I feel like I've been there all along to help him through his hard times and then it occurred to me that he hasn't really been there. I think. I mean, I'm not even really sure what he's talking about haha. We can still get together and have a ton of fun together for hours on end... and then he said we don't "click"? That just... doesn't make sense to me.

[elements]

Yeah, that doesn't make sense to me, either. I think if you hang out as you did before and still enjoy spending time together, then you do still "click". So, that's a bit confusing. Maybe you can ask him to clarify because you don't understand exactly what he meant.

[Asker]

yeah, that's a good idea. how strange. :(

[MzNatalie]

Obviously he thought that with enough time and effort he could get his pee pee wet but since he had a realization that he can't, he decided it was not worth the time nor effort to continue to be your friend. Mi prima thinks the same thing. This is why you don't become friends with guys...it's a hard lesson...

[digital_haze]

Youre looking at it wrong. If he just wanted sex he could go elsewhere. He wanted the whole package. Could you be best friends with somebody you were madly in love with but know that he'd never return the feeling? I've been there and its painful as hell.

[MzNatalie]

Its why you are not friends with guys.

[Asker]

woahh. yes and no to that? he admitted he wants me for sex... but we've been best friends for years. we've had lots of opportunities to be together, but we keep liking each other at different times. he swears he doesn't like me now and I know I don't like him... but he's being SO nice to make up for last summer. I liked him and he used me, pretended like he liked me. digital haze, what makes you think he wanted the whole package? why did he wait 7 years to figure out he could go elsewhere?

[MzNatalie]

Like I said, he wants his little pee pee wet...where is the disconnect here? HE IS LYING. Quit being so freakin naive.

[Asker]

guess I should just confront him

[MzNatalie]

I don't mean to sound like such a puta mija, pero YOU deserve so much BETTER. I see this type of thing happen A LOT. You deserve someone that will treat you like the most important thing in the world, not some vato that plays games for years, lies and all that other BS.

[Asker]

yeah, but he's been my best friend for so long. it seems so strange just to up and leave him, yanno? that's the part that's hard.

[MzNatalie]

Your life will be better for it, you don't need people like that in your life...Enjoy it while you got it cause you only got one...

[mikeb79]

Have you asked him what he means by not clicking anymore? Tell him you really want to know, no matter the answer. Like others have said, it could be unrequited love, and he might just not feel comfortable copping to that.

[Asker]

no, I haven't asked. we keep avoiding serious conversations. he said he feels really nervous around me because he feels like he's going to mess up. it's funny you mention the whole unrequited love thing... last summer he pretended to like me while I liked him... that ended horribly. now, he's being SO nice to me and I've told him I just want to walk away from the friendship, but he sure doesn't. I think he's suppressing ever liking me because that's easier than losing me all together.

[mikeb79]

Yeah, that's confusing. On the one hand, he says you're no longer best friends. So then it seems to follow that he wouldn't be too pained by you wanting to walking away from things. Yet, it sounds like he is quite pained by that.

If you want, you could take some time off from him whether he likes that or not. I mean friends who are not best friends have some but not a tremendous regard for one another's well being. He's naming the game; you'd be just playing by the rules of that game.

[Asker]

yeah. definitely. it's almost like he wants me to always be around, but he doesn't want to make the comittment to me... I mean, I think he's pained by the idea of me leaving, but I haven't asked. every time I tell him how much he hurt me he says he has to work that much harder. maybe he's lying or doesn't know what he wants? talking face to face is different. he told me we didn't "click" over text message. I leave for school in 3 weeks, I don't really plan to stay in contact unless he talks to me

[mikeb79]

Sure, maybe he doesn't know what he wants. Maybe he's afraid of opening up and then at some point being rejected if you two were to get together.

Going to school is a good excuse to stop being in contact: you're busy with classes, with various school-related activites, new friends, etc.

[Asker]

I just want my best friend back. that's all. no relationship. not after this. I think that's what he wants too

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

probably because he hinted he likes you and you didn't (want to) pick up on it, and he's always there for you even during the times guys who you date are mean to you and now he doesn't want to deal with it anymore that's why

[Asker]

strangggee... last summer he pretended to like me when I liked him. I, and most of our friends think, that he's just suppressing his feelings for me. I don't know though. what kind of best friend uses their best friend? however, now he's being suupperr nice to me all the time.

[Equinoxe]

Move on and do NOT come with any form of resistance.

[Asker]

haha okay... really? leave him forever? any reason?

[Equinoxe]

the more you are prepare to leave, less likely is he to let go ;)

[Asker]

ah. well, yeah, I could let go very easily ha.

[AlphaVampire]

What 'Clicked' Means Anyway Please Explain

[Asker]

I guess I should ask him...