He says We Aren't On the Same Page Anymore?

[Anonymous]

I've been in a relationship for awhile now.

It is pretty much one I have devoted myself to

Of course, he has his friends, in which he loves almost as much as he loves going to the bar and drinking his beer.

We have overcome a bunch of things

and he has done quite a few things that have put a damper on my trust, but overall we have gotten passed it.

Every day we end up together, and on the weekends, it is me tagging along with him and his friends.

He says he enjoys it, but, he recently has told me that he feels like he can't go anywhere without me, that he wishes we didn't spend so much time together.

He says we are not married so, it shouldn't have to be like this?

But when it comes down to it, I may just be confused, because I thought we were madly in love on the way to getting married, and that's what you do when you've decided you want to be with someone for the rest of your life?

granted, Its not like he never sees his friends, His friends are his top priority in my eyes.

Am I being too clingy? Or is there just a point where you grow up and realize there is more to life then getting smashed with your bros every STINKING WEEKEND?

HELP

[rachiee]

A good relationship isn't one that both partners see each other every single day and do everything together. There's no fun in that and it ALWAYS leads to problems whether its situations like this or someone gets on the other one's nerves until it leads to the relationships demise. You both need space. If you continue to crowd around him every second you can then he's going to eventually suffocate and break up with you. Let him go hang out with his friends even if that's every weekend. Go hang out with yours. Its okay to hang out with him on the weekends sometimes, but NOT every single weekend. Also a good idea is to maybe get some of your girl friends to hang out with his guy friends, mix the groups together a little so that it won't be how it normally is.

I know that you love him but seriously you need to give him space and you need space away from him as well. There's no point in dating someone who has the same exact life as you do, you both need to have your own separate lives in order for things to work long term.

His comment about marriage doesn't mean he doesn't want to marry you, it just sounds like he doesn't want to get married right now. It sounds like he wants to have fun with his friends and go out but at the same time still have you to come home to, that's perfectly okay as long as he's being faithful but the more you nag him about seeing him all the time the more the chances of him cheating increase unfortunately.

[The-Romanian]

His focus has changed probably due to his friends. Single, arrogant friends tend to sadly influence the decisions of those in a what may seem as a promising relationship. The friends see it as they "can't" do what they would normally do if they were all single. And if they're not single, then they're significant others may be feeling the same way you are. Unless they're doing the same thing.

No, you're not being to clingy. People have a misconception that you put this facade on to get a partner, and then once you get married/comfortable is when you show your true self. Maybe him being this way saved you attorney fees, and heartache for the future.

"Awhile" doesn't explain the length of your relationship, clarify this if you would.

[Asker]

we've been together for 2 years.

[Anonymous]

People have different levels of independence and it's hard to accurately respond on your relationship knowing so few details.

It COULD be a case of him being the type to need more independence and you being the type that wants to spend the majority of your time with your partner. Neither person is wrong in this case, it's just two different personalities that you need to overcome/compromise on to reach a solution.

From what you've said I have to admit you sound like you are smothering him (read: being too clingy) for what HE likes in a relationship. If you're unable to compromise then you may be better off with a guy who is more like you and wants to devote the majority of his time to his partner.