Does this mean he’s not serious about us?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been spending time with a friend and we seem to be moving along fine. We celebrated Christmas together and we decided to exchange Valentine’s Day gifts before he goes out of town to celebrate his children’s birthday. One of my gifts I am actually going to have to return. The only reason I’m upset is because I just wanted the day to be special. He told me to not stress over the small things and to just enjoy what we have. Am I reading too much into that?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, this is getting real complicated. On one hand, it's cool you guys had Christmas together and are exchanging Valentine's gifts. That seems pretty couple-y. But the stuff about returning a gift and not stressing small things is kinda confusing.

It sounds like maybe he cares about you but doesn't want to make any big commitments since he has kids and stuff. I get why you wanted Valentine's Day to be special, but it also might have been a lot of pressure on him. Maybe just enjoy spending time together when you can without overthinking where it's going, you know?

Sometimes guys suck at communicating clearly. He probably likes you and doesn't wanna hurt your feelings, but isn't in the right headspace for a serious relationship either. As long as you're both happy in the moment, I'd try not to stress and just see where things naturally go from there. But don't be afraid to have an honest talk if you really need to know where you stand long term. Just try not to put too much pressure on labels or anything. Hope that makes sense, luv!

[rosemilk]

you call this person a friend yet spend big holidays together and get each other valentines day gifts? sounds like you two need to have a talk with where you want to be in this relationship. "just enjoy what we have" sounds like, let's continue having sex without a label. this is why i think you're in a situationship.

it is valid to read into what he said. it sounds like you two aren't on the same page at all.

[laly520]

I think yes
tho he cares but not to the point of being serious about u