Got rejected 3 months ago, she now comes back and said she made a mistake. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

There was this girl I really liked, we never really talked that much only a couple times since I didn't really have any interest in her yet. After a couple months she wouldn't even want to talk to me instead she would just stare at me, as if 'seeking validation or something'. She gave me clear signs like checking me out, even my friends noticed that she gazed me up and down and blushed. To be honest I'm not sure if she's shy, it's like she has different personalities really weird My friend would notice that she spoke to people differently. Anyway, we never really talked that much and I could never ever close that gap of communication. After a couple months I asked whether she wanted to hangout at school and perhaps talk ( this was via text because I couldn't get her to talk in real life). Another odd thing is that we had this final shirt signing day, I signed her shirt but when I asked her to sign mine, she just says, "Maybe tomorrow." I just said alright, after that she just keeps starring at me from a distance (Never signed the shirt by the way). She rejected me via text saying she 'has someone else' which is extremely hard to believe because she normally talks to her female friends. it took me awhile to get over the rejected but after 3 months she, texts me and stays, "Hey I'm really sorry. I made a mistake." To be honest, I don't believe she has the maturity or integrity to be in any relationships. One of my friends who knew her said that she was a 'bitch' and 'insecure'. What do you think is up with her and what would you do?

[ManOnFire]

Someone who really, really likes you and wants to get to know you and spend time with you would not do the things she does. I definitely believe all the looks and whatnot she was giving you was meant to try to reel you in, not because she was crushing on you or really interested, but she wanted you to pursue her so that she could feel validated and then try to control you.

You have to be careful with some women. Some of them push you away or try to breadcrumb you just to see how much you really want them and how far you'll go. Once they see that you're dead set on it and won't give up, they got you right where they want you and will go in for the kill, doing things to manipulate you, control you, or even to give them things. So I think that's what this girl was trying to do to you. Her even texting you that she has someone else might've even been a lie, just to see if you would keep trying and if satisfied enough with your efforts, she would give you a shot.

Also, I wouldn't even take her telling you "Hey I'm really sorry. I made a mistake" very seriously either. Again, it could just be what she wants to tell you in the hopes that it'll get you coming back, probably because she either just broke up with somebody and maybe even wants to make them jealous, is looking for another guy to monkey branch over to, or to simply see if some guy out there will validate her again because she's not getting it right now. So no, I do not believe she is sincere and I do not think you should spend any of your time or energy on her. Remember: when someone really likes you, they'll be into you from the start and not do the things she does.

[Asker]

I completely agree with what you're saying. Her behaviour is extremely peculiar. It's as if she fluctuates between personalities. When see texted me she would seem all energetic by spamming exclamation marks in every one of her text messages. Then when I asked to hangout she seemed to be completely uninterested.

[ManOnFire]

I already know she's a player. That right there is another big indicator: you asked her to hang out and she acted disinterested. Chicks like her are some of the worst in today’s society. I cannot stand them and I truly hope you will ignore her from here. But be prepared for that too because when a guy ignores a girl it makes her try harder. Don't give in, just enjoy seeing her try.

[Asker]

In your opinion what majority of these girls are compulsive or calculative. What I mean by that is that some women tend to be extremely manipulative and calculative in their behaviour, like if they check you out it was intentional whilst more compulsive types tend to not be able to hold their actions?

[ManOnFire]

I would say a pretty large demographic of females today are manipulative. Most of them being in your age group. One reason being that many of them also know a lot of guys will simp over them. They like taking advantage of guys.

They key to recognizing which women are which is to really gauge their interest and in what WAY are they interested in you. It will tell you a lot.

[Asker]

One more odd thing as well, is that straight after the day she rejected me she literally looked at me like a vulture for the whole day and gave this annoying grin smirk and stared at me from the windows. So don't worry I know it isn't worth it.

[ManOnFire]

Oh wow, she did that? Yep, she's a total player.

[Texaskid1]

She had a boyfriend at that time but also had a crush on you I think.

If you are a decent looking guys this is bound to happen. I would consider myself not too shabby and I can see when a women is checking me out. At work I have had married women checking me out and flirting with me. It happens but after a while you don't even notice it.

As far as this girl , I would say that during those three months she was with her boyfriend , they broke up and now she is coming to you for some consolation. You could date her but be very weary , she may get back with the boyfriend and leave you high and dry and then you will have to deal with a broken heart - which sucks. As for her not signing your shirt when you signed hers sounds odd - I have the feeling this girls may lack maturity.

Walk away is my advice. It may hurt now but it could save you a lot of pain later on.

There are other women out there.

[EpicNate]

Keep in mind that girls may make up fake boyfriends to avoid potential relationships with guys they aren't interested in for some reason or another, it's her way of saying 'stop talking to me or my invisible boyfriend will kick your ass' - if this girl really does have a boyfriend, or at the very least is seeing other guys irrespective of the fact that OP has made his intent clear, then it's just her way of saying 'I don't like you enough to date you, but please validate my manipulative ego - until I can find someone better.

[Texaskid1]

@EpicNate very good point

[Seinna]

If you two weren't already together and she didn't do anything to hurt you... I'd say if you still have feelings for her then go for it. People aren't always ready to reciprocate when we confess to them, sometimes it scares them off and they need more time to really consider it. And when they do, they might end up liking you a lot as well. Think about it, even for you it probably took some time to fall for her like that especially if you guys didn't talk much. If anything, this could be a good thing if she didn't agree to date you when she wasn't sure of her feelings "just to see how it goes" and leading you on. I'd say be careful around her though, remember it's a person who comes from a different position of slowly opening herself up to you so she won't immediately have such strong feelings as you did. If, however, you think she has no integrity or maturity to be in a relationship then that's a bigger problem and you might want to pass... it depends on how much you like her though. If you no longer do then it's pretty obvious isn't it? People mature in relationships and gain confidence to be who they really are. Majority of young women are insecure. So maybe being with you would change her, assuming it wouldn't happen at your expense.

[Pinay_ako]

You got rejected, now she comes back coz she got rejected or left by her man, so she’s seeking validation from you if you still want her… Be nice but don’t fall for it. Move on

[erandal]

What she said.

[ManOnFire]

@Pinay_ako My same point.

[Pinay_ako]

@ManOnFire thanks 😊

[Pinay_ako]

Oooooh thanks for the MHG 💕

[MoniqueTLC]

Shady behaviour on her part. I don't recommend giving her another chance just like that. If you're intrigued as to what went on you can just call her out on it and say something like; 'what makes you think I'm still interested, after your previous behaviour towards me, I don't feel you're ready' that's a bit brutal but you can say whatever you like.
Ultimately, you're in control of this situation and you can proceed however you feel is right but her actions before aren't promising. @slatyb is right though, you have nothing to lose if you meet up with her for a coffee. It will help you gauge her attitude on a more personal level

[RACSKC0B]

First all chick's are crazy (not all the time), the trick is finding the one with the kind of crazy you don't mind so much. With any luck your stupidity won't bring it out of her too often.
Second, as you mentioned, you didn't really get to know her yet, and you basically just asked her to hang out. So maybe don't worry about relationships just yet. Especially since guys tend to be less emotionally mature then girls.
Lastly, you've never made a choice, that you later wished you had made a different one?
She didn't reject you, she told you she was already involved with someone, that's not the same thing. Even if she just told you that, she didn't reject you.
What if you say no to her now, and in six months you change your mind?
It's not like you have to date her. If she's a bitch, then tell her it's the last time you take advice from some old fuck on the interweb, and stop doing stuff with her.

[Asker]

She also said she 'didn't view me that way' but views this other person this way. Now, SHE'S changed her mind and guess she views me that way now. It's really odd.

[Stars12122]

It sounds like she is very attracted to you. I get the feeling based on your description that she might be painfully shy. Sometimes you can like someone so much that you want to run away from the nervousness. It might be that she felt overwhelmed.

So it's really up to you. She might over time relax the nervousness. She might just be very timid and that might not be a quality you want in a girl. If you like her I would observe her for nervousness around you compared to other people. If she only acts this weird around you she's probably just shy. This is especially the case if she's young.

[Asker]

Yes, she acts extremely nervous around me. To other people she's quite causal but she seems to want to run away from me all the time. When it was that shirt signing day she looked as if she panicked when I appeared out of no where.

[Stars12122]

Ooh yeah, she has a huge crush on you 🥰. I wouldn't take the rejection to heart. She probably feels so panicky around you and might not know how she would have a normal conversation with you.

[Asker]

Not really sure if she does or she's just faking it. She'd check me out by looking me up and down and even her friends would laugh or smile when they go past me sometimes. A.) I've never talked to her not because I can't but because she'd always scramble and run away. (B.) One day she completely just vanished from the hangout spot and started ghosting me (C.) She never initiates the first contact and seemed disinterested or annoyed via when I asked her whether she wanted to hangout. And I never heard from her for 3 months until she re-added me on Instagram.

[Stars12122]

She could still have a crush on you but might be dating someone else. It's understandable if she was with someone and she wanted to be faithful and not stray. Or she might also find you attractive but not want to date you 🤔 but the fact that she came back makes me think the first one.

[Man-O-Metal]

I'm sorry but this chick is really weird. And if a girl comes back after that long and says she made a mistake, first of all yes that is correct that she made a mistake (the mistake of even contacting you again after rejecting you) and second is thinking that just by showing up out of the blue you will instantly take her back like she never rejected you in the first place. Run. Seriously. This is not worth your time. She's like a snake. Her next move is unpredictable. If you want... Maybe be friends with her? But I doubt that would ever work. Go out and find yourself a new girl. One that won't treat you like this.

[lonervibes]

Honestly I’m very reserved myself. But if she’s saying these things and just staring, that’s really odd to me. Personally if I like a guy, I’m going to really love the attention they give me. Maybe she was going through something at the time though that she couldn’t tell you about? There’s a lot of things that could have been going on. There’s a guy I like right now, and I’ve been going through a bad time right now, and honestly when I hang out with him, I’m more withdrawn, and I don’t say as much as I used to before this issue. Maybe inquire her about how she’s feeling? Ask her why she decided to tell you this now. Ask her what was going through her mind. You need answers, there could have been so much going on behind the scenes too. So just ask her what’s going on in her mind. Good luck!

[Moose304]

I see this kind of crap all the time. 99% of the time she DID NOT make a mistake. Most likely in the time between her rejection of you she was rejected by another man. If you are comfortable being her fallback plan then go for it. Just be warned though. I would not get too comfortable. There is a great chance she will dump you later. This seems to be a common thing with females under the age of 30-35.

[RedStealthOperative]

If I were you, I'd stick to your gut on this one. But maybe just be her friend, and see how she treats people around her? And it's probably safest to take other people's word on her character, but maybe more than just your friend. You never know if he could just be saying that, so that he has a chance to get with her. I'm doubting it, but you never know. I've heard of stuff like that among friends.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Up to you if you want to give her a second chance, if you are single... you could give it a shot, could always end it, if it does not work out.

Alternatively, just don't give her a shot and stay single or find someone else.

People make mistakes, but it depends on how you feel on what you should do.

[Whatever2929292]

I don't think she is worth it. She had her chance and she was mean to you. Persoanlly if a woman rejected me and came back long as I was not with someone else I might give her another chance. But not always

[hunterzoloman655]

I'd tell her to get lost because she rejected you and then came back means she got rejected by someone she liked and came back to you cause she knows you would say yes it's not fun being that guy

[slatyb]

I would go on a date and find out for myself. Everyone is insecure about something. It’s not a problem if they own it. What do you have to lose? An evening?

[jhl_x]

Her plan A failed and you're the plan B. I wouldn't bother with her, unless she was really really remarkable to be worth it.

[Anonymous]

I only read the first line… “i liked” that’s in the past so here's ur answer:)… ignore her ass

[bolverk]

Forget her - Move on. She was obviously 'dating' one of those 'Chad, Tyrone, or Juan' types and has been kicked to the curb by him
If you Really want to wind her up ignore her, that drives women nuts!!

[Chazmatazz269]

Nope! What she meant was she didn’t get a better offer. She’ll ghost you as soon as she does. Know your worth. Tell her to scram.

[anon1903]

That her crush rejected her. If you still wanna date her, now's your chance.

[Asker]

I'm not sure I will, the long term consequences seem to be worse then the short term.

[anon1903]

Okedoke a

[sagar124]

Is she treating you like an object that whenever she feels she can throw you and can pick up whenever she feels good?
Don't reply to her. Do your thing.

[Blueeyes81]

Asking someone out is a one time take it or leave it deal. There are numerous reasons as to why she would do this and none of them bode well for relationship material.

[Avicenna]

Not given what you said about her. I'm surprised you would even consider it.

[Agape93]

Tough shit. Reject me and that bridge is burned, I will not ask again nor will I consider you again.