Why won’t she oblige to rekindled friendship?

[Anonymous]

Me and my ex friend haven’t spoken in 13 years.
History is - we both always struggled with with getting male attention. One night she met a guy and hooked up with him. We all went back to my house after the club to continue the party and she left the room and I hooked up with him. So what? He preferred me and he was in my bed. She kind of phased me out after that. I didn’t care so I deleted her off Facebook, and I was left with no friends as she was my only friend.

I contacted her 13 years on asking for us to be best friends.

She hasn’t responded, which I think is super petty. Why do people behave like that? What the F is her problem.

[Guy13]

She must feel like you stole the love of her life that night after club... she's still holding onto it?

[Asker]

Yeah petty right ?

[Guy13]

yep, it seems to be a little petty. I am detecting a real pissed off undertone from you AND I can not see why you are this way?

[Asker]

I don’t have any other friends so It is frustrating that she doesn’t respond , because of petty shit like this...

[Guy13]

www.meetup.com

[kylee2437]

Just because time has gone by, doesn’t mean she owes you any of her time. 13 years and you are still trying to gain a friend back that you lost and it’s because of you. Is it because you can’t make any new friends? Maybe you need to evaluate yourself

[Asker]

It was a great friendship, she was loyal and kind. I let her take the lead with organising everything to do with the friendship and I occasionally reciprocated- so it would be useful to have her back in my life. Who care about some random guy 13 years ago that preferred me over her - don’t know how she can hold onto a petty grudge...

[kylee2437]

@asker just because you would let it go, doesn’t mean others have to. You lost a good friend due to your own actions. I had this happen to me also, and we were young kids, but guess what? I did something that created a divide between us and our friendship and regardless of how many years it’s been, I still accept the fact that it created a divide, why? Because I take responsibility.

[Asker]

But seriously - this was just some random guy she met in a club, why would anyone care ? It wasn’t her husband for example

[kylee2437]

It doesn’t matter. All it takes is principle for some people and honestly the fact that you are blaming her for her having her own boundaries on what she wants in her life just shows you still haven’t taken responsibility after 13 years. You just want her in your life because she was a good friend, meanwhile you were not.

[Asker]

... I just honestly think that life dishes some hard facts sometimes - some women are preferred by guys over others - she didn’t need to get bitter about it and hold onto a grudge

[kylee2437]

And you aren’t getting every action has a reaction and you obviously didn’t provide a great friendship to her like you thought you did.

[Asker]

I guess we will have to agree to disagree. All I take responsibility of is being more attractive than her to the guy; and her holding onto bitter ness/ jealousy about that when are approaching 40- which is seriously petty. Life is too short to hold grudges

[kylee2437]

I don't know what you look like - but I’m pretty sure your immaturity, horrible personality and lack of responsibility is the reason why she doesn’t want to be friends with you and also why you are chasing a friendship that does 13 years ago.

[kylee2437]

That died*

[daddysbabygirl1]

100% spoken truth kylee2437!

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHGirl.

[OlderAndWiser]

You showed her one of the ultmate forms of disrespect and disloyalty and after 13 years, you ask WITF is wrong with HER? I bet you'd understand if she had fucked the guy you were hoping to get into bed.

[Asker]

Erm, it was just some random guy in a club - who cares? He preferred me, over her and he was in my bed - that isn’t my problem

[OlderAndWiser]

She is your best friend and you don't care about her feelings because you just wanted to get laid. And you have no clue why she is mad at you? I suspect that you are a troll because I don't think anyone could actually be this dense.

[Asker]

It is something that happened literally decades ago. I don’t think people should hold onto petty grudges.

[OlderAndWiser]

Who said she's holding onto a grudge? Maybe she just decided that you were low rent trash and she would be better off not having you in her life. The fact that she doesn't want to rekindle doesn't mean she's holding a grudge; it just means she doesn't want you in her life. . . and she is not "obliged" to give you the time of day.

[FilmGuy93]

Why would she? You stole a guy from her that she found attractive. That was a shitty thing to do.

[Asker]

We had been friends for 15 years at that stage, so friendship is more important than some random hookup, so she shouldn’t have behaved the way she did. Subsequently, my recent email to her said ‘I’m not sure if we ended on bad terms’ ...

[FilmGuy93]

You seriously TOLD her that you "aren't sure if you ended on bad terms?" I'm gonna double down on my answer here; why on Earth would she want to be your friend again? Your choice to hookup with her guy was just the straw that broke the camel's back. She got sick after years of your tone-deaf behavior and general selfishness.

[Asker]

This was just some random guy she met in a club- honestly it isn’t that big a deal !!!

[Asker]

... it wasn’t her husband of 10 years for example. The guy thought I was hotter and the rest is history, she just needs to grow up.

[FilmGuy93]

The problem isn't the guy! The problem is the way you act about it. It doesn't matter what you think about the importance of the guy you hooked up with. The problem is the disrespect you showed your friend by stealing the guy and then the fact you totally refuse to acknowledge why your behavior might have negatively impacted her.

She doesn't want to hang out with you because she's seen you act this way for 15 years.

[Th3ft]

Lol! Sounds like you were never great friends so maybe that just didn’t seem right. Maybe you need to open up to someone new?

[daddysbabygirl1]

You are how old? Asking her to be your best friend is a little much too soon after 13 years. She probably thinks you’ll stalk her.