Girls, How can I turn my childhood friendship into a friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

I would like to state that I am not sure I want to sacrifice it all just for a little sex, I am just unhappy not being able to have a sincere and fulfilling relationship with reality, I 19 (M) have been friend with this girl from forever, we never got the kind of uncorfotable friendship where it is a custom to talk about difficult and embarrasing personal feelings, it's simpler, she is the only person that makes me feel affection and I reciprocate with what I can and we value each other on that. Recently we have been passing some time togheter, she isn't enthusiastically searching for my company but when we are togheter she alternates between caring for her many contenders and conquest and showing me she is "happy" when with me, her physical closness, her confortability of hers to touch me, has made me feel many bad feelings, I am sexually attracted to her, and tough I would just like to state it in a light way without making it something to break a friendship over I also refrain from doing so in fear of generating a shocked reaction and a never fading unconfortability between us. She usually greets me with an hug, chest pressed against me, she feels confortable joking about being my wife, one time it felt natural to kiss her neck, and had no retaliation for doing so. When I say I don't want to have kids she responds challengingly with " I WANT 50!", and she feels no embarassment holding my hand in front of her female friend. But she isn't going to act completely unfazed if I say that she is sexy, and she will completely regress and act like a toddler if she senses too much sexual tension from my side. In general I am puzzled about the full picture but am pretty sure she isn't going to move an inch and is happiest keeping things as they are, now, does anybody have any insight on what the hell is most probably her view of the friendship and how could I have a succesful talk with her without scaring her off and lose the sweet spot we have forever?

[SueShe]

One does not turn a friendship into a lowkey friends with benefits.

The fact that you are asking this question means that you don't value her friendship since you are willing to sacrifice it. If her friendship means so little to you that you want to jeopardize it, then just reveal your thoughts that you see her basically only as a person to relieve your sexual tension with and that her feelings don't really matter to you.

If you have an iota of decency, then you will not ruin this friendship for a few pathetic muscular contractions and spasms. What will happen for sure is that she will distance herself from you when she realizes that you only see her as an object to satisfy your sexual appetite. Guaranteed.

[Asker]

Yeah right... go back to church lady

[PrettyPriya]

I'm a bit confused. Why do you want a "friends with benefits" relationship with this childhood friend? Not that I have ever had one but the way I understand friends with benefits, it is only about sex and no real attachment otherwise. Please correct me if I am wrong.

That being said, it sounds like you would be better off having an actual relationship and dating her, no? From the details in your question, it seems as if there is some emotional connection there. That is something that is lost in a friends with benefits type of deal.

The issue is always going to be if it will ruin the friendship. That is a very real possibility, unfortunately. Is it worth giving up that lifelong friendship for sex? That is a question only you can answer. Perhaps it doesn't end up ruined. There is no telling until you try.

If it were me, I would just stay friends and not mix in sex to that dynamic. That is just me though and what you decide is your business.

[SueShe]

Beware, the asker seems to be a troll and has no comprehension that one does not do something like that. Dignity is not part of his qualities.

[PrettyPriya]

@SueShe Well, darn. Here I was thinking that I would be of some sort of help. 😞

[SueShe]

The thought is commendable but this gentleman does not think much about friendship. His testosterone does the talking in this case.

[Anonymous]

I think we could have answered this without the logorrhea.

[Anonymous]

By revealing your true feelings.