Girls, Part 1. I’ve become a bit of an Incel, and would like to know your opinions. Am I the problem?

[Anonymous]

In high school I had a female friend, who I also had feelings for. Her and I started talking every day, she’d invite me to her place and I’d go there every day after school. I’d started doing small stuff like put my arm around her while watching tv, or complement her looks. Eventually I grew the confidence to kiss her. She smiled and everything seemed like it was gonna go great, over the next couple months she said she didn’t have feelings for me, despite the fact we’d kiss whenever we first saw each other and when I left at the end of each day. As that was going on she’d ask me for rides to hang out with friends, so I drove her to another base and picked her up hours later when she was done. Except when I picked her up she was high nearly every time so I had enough and told her to find her own way there the next time she asked for a ride. She then started sending me nude pictures telling me to come over. Of course I did and we did it for the first time. That cycle would repeat for the next couple months. She’d ask for a ride, I’d see she’s high and I’d say I’m done, and she’d seduce me the next day. Well one night she nearly OD’ed. A mutual friend was with her, name was Madison. She told me what happen so I rushed over. Lexi was knocked out cold, puke on the floor. I told her dealer if I saw him near her again he’d be dead, and carried her to my car. Madison was with her in the back seat with a puke bag. Lexi started waking up and begged me not to take her to the hospital and to wait it out. So seeing she wasn’t in as bad of shape as I thought, we waited. I took her home, then drove Madison home as well. During the drive Madison told me I’m a good friend for doing what I did. Well, the next day I’m invited to a group chat. In there is Lexi, Madison, all Lexi’s druggie friends and her dealer. Lexi took all the texts over the past year and showed everyone all the dirt she had on me. They all made fun of me and I left the chat. That’s the thanks I get huh?

[PrettyPriya]

Honestly, this doesn’t sound like much of a friend. Someone that would not appreciate your concern for her and then give dirt on you to her friends? That is weird. Maybe she was sharing this “dirt” so you would feel like you couldn’t go to the authorities about the drug dealing and use. Either way, she seems incredibly immature and a bad friend.

How does this make you an incel though. Throughout my time here, I know what they are like and this doesn’t indicate at all that you are.

You don’t want to be a part of that group anyhow. They are bitter and entitled. Stay away from them and that name. Be the nice guy you were in this situation that cares about his friends well-being. Focus on that guy, not the incel rubbish.

Id also choose your friends more carefully. I wouldn’t be associated with anyone that is into drugs or likes the company of those that use and deal them. That is just asking for trouble. Best of luck to you.

[Asker]

Thank you! You’re right, I most likely don’t fall in the category of Incel, just sometimes I feel like I do. Or more accurately like I share their mindset in some ways just because I’m constantly wronged and manipulated by women I open up to or try to help. And that creates trust issues amongst other negative feelings. by the way for context, she wasn’t always a druggie, she only started that when she began asking me for rides. Before that when we’d watch tv at her place or go out and find something fun to do she was completely sober.

[PrettyPriya]

You’re welcome and what a shame she chose that path. You don’t fall into that category, trust me. Stick around this site and you will see what sort of nut jobs they are.

You don’t strike me like that at all. You come off as someone you’d want to be friends with and that is compassionate and caring.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately this is an example of the ridiculous high school antics that can shape someone forever, but only if they allow it. This girl, in my opinion was “young and dumb”. It sounds like you were a very good friend to her, and she fully took advantage of that to get what she wanted. Being a teen, it does make me wonder what sort of influence made that behavior ok in her mind. Maybe it was her upbringing, or even the friends around her — some people can become sheep easily. Regardless it was wrong of her and I hope she’s grown up a bit since then. I also hope that you’ve done the work to heal from that situation, and it doesn’t directly contribute to why you often come on here calling yourself an incel.

[Asker]

I’ll get to more on why I call myself an incel on part 3. Whenever I’m able to post it. Part 1 and 2 are the big events that lead up to the current situation. I wanna give story so you or whoever else can make an accurate response.

[Asker]

I want to give the full story*

[Opinion Owner]

Since you’re anon, you may just want to update this post rather than make a new one (if that wasn’t already your plan). Either that or just link the post here once it’s up.

[Asker]

I’m new to this so sorry if I’m not posting things like I probably should.

[PinkRose24]

What dirt?

Sorry but it sounds like you don't have a back bone. You went back to her just cause she sent you nudes.. now you're surprised she betrayed you? You chose this girl. A drug addict with loose morals. Why are you surprised?

Did you really think she was the one? 🤦‍♀️

[Asker]

We were best friends for a year, you think she didn’t learn nearly everything about me? Like I said she took all the dirt she had on me and told everyone in the chat, and being in highschool at the time that spread like wildfire. Not just because she sent me nudes, we started having sex. I’d say just about any Highschooler who gets that opportunity with their crush would take it. And if you say you wouldn’t, you’re a liar. Yes I was surprised she betrayed me after I saved her ass when she nearly OD’ed. On top of that she’d only just started her drug addiction a few months prior to that event, so me being a good friend thought she wasn’t too far gone and tried to help. But I was wrong. Before her drug addiction when I’d hang out with her every day and a short time after our first kiss, yes I thought she was the one. But she took advantage of my feelings for her and used me. If you mean to tell me that you’d drop someone you’d been best friends with for a little over a year, had a crush on, and you knew them better than almost anyone. You’d drop them because they pick up drugs for only a few months? Even when you still see the great person they once were and have hope you can bring them back. Then you’re the one with loose morals if you’d give up on someone that close to you, so quickly.

[PinkRose24]

First of all. Not every highschooler is hypersexual like yourself. I would be repulsed if my crush sent me nudes. That's disgusting and shows he doesn't respect me and himself. I'm saving myself for marriage. I'm not dictated by my emotions. Also I wouldn't associate myself with someone who does drugs. If my crush started doing drugs after I've known him for a year or more.. first I would be surprised af because I would never choose a guy that's into drugs. But if that happened, I would be realistic. My romantic attraction to him would fade. However I would still care about him and try to help. He would need professional help and go to rehab. He would have to make the choice to go to rehab though. if I see that he chooses to stay doing drugs than there's nothing I can do.

[dustybiker]

She sounds like she has problems she needs professional help with. You didn’t do anything wrong. She lead you on for rides. Not all woman are like this.

[Asker]

Read part 2. That’s the second big Incident that didn’t help my mindset towards women.

[Anonymous]

This is just immature high school stuff.