Friend keeps making racial comments- am I right to be hurt?

[Anonymous]

I don’t want to say she’s racist, but she’s always bringing it up, it seems like she’s obsessed with it almost.

I’m half Asian (Malaysian) and half white (Irish) and I get told I look like Kristin kreuk quite a lot. My friend is just white.

But my friend brings up my ethnicity a weird amount, like in front of men I’m flirting with she will say to the guy “do you like Asians then” or just generally make comments about my “Asianness” in front of strangers. I’ll show her an old picture of me and she’s like “you look so white there.”

It doesn’t affect me because I’m proud of being mixed but it’s just weird how much she brings it up in front of other people and to me. I’ve had to tell her she’s being racist after some comments in the past, and she apologises, and then she goes back to talking about my race.

She even said I “smell of rice” in front of a group of people and that I laugh like an “anime character” the other day. What should I do about it?

[ThinkFitness23]

Lots of things are going on here..


1. Your beautiful and even if she is too she jealous of at least some of the attention you receive.


2. This person is racist and believes whites are superior, so it’s not just an Asian thing.


3. This person clearly doesn’t know how to speak to people in general, if there were some interests about your race or she is intrigued she’s not going about things the right way and she care little for the way you feel.


4. The next time she mentions your complexion ask her why caucasians love to sunbathe and darken their skin, visit exotic destinations and enjoy Asian cuisines.


5. The next time she mentions you smelling of rice mention that all too often when your in her company you get the essence of RACISM.


This isn’t a question of her not making these remarks, the question is do you want to remain friends and spend your time with someone who makes you feel this way who will never see you as equal.

[BJP21]

What a beautiful mixture and unique individual you are. Yes you have every right to be hurt, if you find these comments hurtful, in fact, its down right racist making racially charged slurs against you.

You stated "She even said I “smell of rice” in front of a group of people" Thats a racist slur.

The first thing Id do, is call her out when she least expects it. Make a scene about it in some place that is very public. I guarantee it will end quick.

She isn't being a good friend to you.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Sounds like some bigotry. Is it the funny kind though or just mean? I mean mean, mean like two fat motherfuckers fighting over some collard greens.

When it comes to race shit you got to sort of feel the air. I personally really love Asian chicks. My fiance before my wife was Japanese and the wife is the Pacific islander type... Blasian-ish or whatever. I still make jokes though because it's just funny. But I'm like feeling the air... I'm the only white guy there so everybody kind of understands when I go into a group of black guys and just say "Watz up my nuggaz!" "We dropping those deuces and rolling on all 4's or what?" "Who'z doing a battle rap or what sucka?"

Your friend should be able to notice if there is a single person not really laughing though... feel what I'm saying? It's getting on your nerves and real friends don't do that sort of shit to each other. She's being insensitive and shit.

[RolandCuthbert]

I don't think this person is your friend.

Even without thinking about race, what kind of friend intentionally hurts or makes their friends feel uncomfortable? It is almost like you being held hostage because her comments are about race. Because we are constantly told that we can be bothered by everything but racial or racist comments.

[Qdbrown]

Sounds like your friend is using you to be her ugly friend, to give her a leg up. She just can't figure out why the guys are into you, and not her, so she is having difficulties understanding the situation and trying to help along other people's judgment. Sounds like she is not ready to admit to herself she is lessor on the looks tree, but I bet she is thinking that deep down.

[RyanDeal009876]

She's super jealous.

I'm serious, you wouldn't believe the lengths some women go to in order to call out men (Specifically White men) for dating Asians, and attempt to shame them or make their lives difficult.

Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy.

[abc3643]

That last thing...
"smell of rice"
is offensive.

State to her that you'd prefer that she not discuss your ethnicity in public; privately, it's... acceptable... but not in front of other people. You want to be judged on who you are, not your genetic composition.

[tfan1]

Your friend needs to watch her mouth. I’m white - but what you said “smells of rice” - even that sounds wrong. My wife is 100% Chinese and we have a 10 year old son that is American Caucasian-Chinese. (Not sure if that identification exists but I came up with it). If your friend doesn’t learn to respect you and treat you right, find a new friend. You don’t need to hang around somone that says stuff like that. Good luck 👍🙂

[ElvenMr]

Yes. She is clearly not your friend if she keeps saying these things to you which makes you feel bad. She sounds jealous of you on top of that.

Tell her to stop saying these things.. watch her reaction to that. It should be telling, like she downplays the importance of it and just laughs in your face..
If it's not clear and she just keeps doing it, you know what to do, find a new friend.

[Anonymous]

Kristin kreuk is the hottest girl on the planet. I wish I was your boyfriend. Lucky mf he is. But anyway just sit her down and tell her. The problem with your relationship is you guys lack boundaries and a culture of courtesy. I'm guessing she is your best friend.

[noonejustme]

if she was my friend I would privately ask her why does she keep mentioning my ethnicity? Considering she still makes these types of statements, she probably doesn’t even know she sounds obsessed with ur ethnicity..

[siseñor]

We're kinda similar. People used to tell me I looked 'exotic' or whatever and it pissed me the fuck off. It's not right to talk about someone like they're a dog breed. It's reducing someone to an object and you have a right to be upset.

[OlderAndWiser]

This girl is a classic passive-aggressive and should not be considered as a friend. Time to find a new friend.

[Makeushiver]

If that is your photo I think you are very attractive and the comments might be the result of the person making them being pset because you are more attractive

[Summeroflove]

Tell her it’s making you uncomfortable and to stop.

[PetiteBabe64]

You should Learn to accept yourself it's not healthy to judge yourself so much that you get offended by what others say. Do some self work

[Anonymous]

Why do you hang out with losers? What does she do to benefit you in life?

I mean, if you like her talking to you like that, then enjoy.

[AllGoodNamesRGone]

I really wish we all could rise, above the clouds of ignorance, narrowness, and selfishness.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a typical white woman. They envy Asian women and try to put them down in order to cope with it.

[Fuentes]

Jealous ignorant chick. She's Hella jealous of u

[KrakenAttackin]

Your friend is a super -entitled white girl.

[leighbee]

My boyfriend is half Malaysian!