If my friend didn’t defend me against her racist boyfriend, should I cut her off?

[Dreamgirl97xo]

Ages ago, in a group chat me and my friend were in, these guys kept calling me horrible racist names which I won’t mention. One of these guys was my friend’s boyfriend at the time.

Her reason for not defending me was that she “didn’t wanna get involved” she said it wasn’t her place to say anything. But she did say it was wrong of them to say that and that I didn’t deserve it (She’s white) so I took her word and carried on being friends

However, with what’s been going on recently with the whole George Floyd situation. It’s made me realise that racism should NOT be accepted and how many white people are protesting, it’s made me realise white people can support black people and I just feel like my friend didn’t support me

what do you guys think? Should I just delete her off social media?

[Metlahaed]

“We must all fear evil men. But, there is another kind of evil which we must fear most … and that is the indifference of good men.” This quote is from the Boondock Saints the movie (a brilliant movie you MUST watch if you haven't already).

You don't need to cut her off, but maybe have a difficult conversation about why indifference is a huge part of the problem. People need to speak out against racism, especially if it is among your social peers and friends, and it is happening right in front of you.

[Jack-mayhoff]

I think if she was your friend she would have definitely stood up for you. I think. Most people would have. There is no place for racism period. The people that disagree with that are small minded individuals. I think I’d cut ties with her

[jennifer_bloom]

Your friend should have been careful enough not to date a racist in the first place but you can't expect somebody to choose their boyfriend over their female friend - if we were to reject every friend who does something wrong we would have no friends at all - everybody messes up

[neonheart]

A real friend should know how to defend you against to their partners especially if their boyfriend's insulting you in front of them, they can simply ask their be to stop calling you those names... If she can't do that , she is not a real friend.

[Anonymous]

I'm a guy, so I don't tend to 'break up' with friends. That's more a girl thing where you're either amazing friends or you're not. I have friends I haven't spoken to in a year and still consider them a friend.

Anyway, i'd suggest letting the friendship slide. She's not a good friend.

[normalice]

It's up to you. Love makes women do some fucked up things. You are not going to get her to leave or change. I mean, if you're really willing to sacrifice your time for someone else's lesson, you can play the upbeat victim and just take the abuse - they >might< get better after a few years of venting without being called on it - but I think it's over between you and frankly yoir friend is likely in for a rough life, as well..

[RolandCuthbert]

This is weird. Are people in the UK talking about George Floyd?

Why?

I mean I get John Boyega. He is an actor who is over in the U. S. a lot.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/vHrt9ov0bJY

[Guanfei]

Would you have defended her if she was insulted in the same way?

If not, then you can't expect her to do it for you.
But if you had defended her, then you can ask the same from her, and therefore not accept that she didn't.
Even tho I think her reason wasn't exactly the truth. And that she didn't act for another reason.

[Dreamgirl97xo]

What was the other reason?

[Guanfei]

There could be a few. Maybe she didn't find it offensive. Or maybe she was scared of them. Or she's not the kind of person who likes conflicts and therefore decided to step back. Or maybe she likes them more than you.

[MaidenMandy30]

Personally i would delete her. I would defend my friend and drop those assholes

[Haelaeix123]

Sure, if your friends won't defend you when you are attacked, unless they dont think your right then they really aren't your friends

[alance99]

She proves that she is not against racism and not your true friend as well, she could have left the group if she didn't wanted to fight , who knows if she does have such racist convo behing your back

[KitKnickKat]

I think I would, but if she’s a close friend then maybe talk to her about it?

[Sparda20xx]

Yea I would cut her off. The mere fact that she is dating a racist is very telling of her personality.

[Anonymous]

Some people don't like any kind of confrontation, it doesn't mean they "don't care" though. Like she said, she didn't want to be involved.

[SilverRain92]

Racism should not be tolerated. But love is blind. Talk to her about your feelings

[REDHOTLINE]

Of course cut her off... she is not your reak friend

[kittenbits]

Toxic friendship cut them out now asap

[adollarandadream]

your “friend” wouldn’t defend you? hmm...

[michael1469]

Your "friend" should have come to your defense.

[swettannie]

probably yes