My girlfriend invites her guy friend to the concert, but not me?

[Anonymous]

Both my girlfriend, Emily, and I are 23.

We have been together for six months and things have gone pretty well. We live super close to each other so we see each other almost every day.

Anyway, to make a long story short:

Her and her roommate, Rebecca, recently purchased eight tickets to a concert next Friday. Emily, Emily sister, Rebecca, Rebecca's boyfriend and a few other people are going to the show.

I was never invited, which really wasn't that big of a deal. While I would have gone to the concert if I was invited, I find it strange I wasn't invited. I have been dating Emily for six months. We do a lot of things together. Rebecca is bringing her boyfriend. Why can't Emily bring me? Why didn't she even ask me to go?

Emily's cousin was supposed to come, but because of work she can't come. So there is an open ticket. I was over Rebecca and Emily's house one day when they were discussing it. Still, Emily never invited me.

Instead she invited one of her guy friends, Paul, to the concert. I would be OK with this if Paul and my girlfriend were best friends, but they have hung out like 2-3 times and just know each other because they are in the same program at school. Additionally, out of all the people in her program my girlfriend knows that I think Paul is a little sketchy. Sometimes he will ask Emily if he can come over. She claims its because he has no friends and is new to the area. Who knows. One time he came over at 10pm on a Saturday...to "grab a book." I was there when he came over, but I mentioned to Emily when he left that it was really weird he came over that late on a weekend to see get this book. She thinks nothing of it.

Emily and Rebecca are also in the same college program, which only had about 50 people...so naturally everyone knows each other. For some reason out of all the guys I have met in the program (about 15 guys, 35 girls...everyone frequently parties together) Paul is the only guy I have a weird feeling about. I'm positive Emily knows this.

I didn't want to give my girlfriend hell for this and while I do want to trust her this rubs me the wrong way. I am usually not a jealous guy, but she basically said she didn't invite me because I don't invite her to everything I do (I don't know what she is talking about) and that we don't have to do everything together. As I stated before we do live super close. We live within walking distance of each others places and see each other almost every day if possible.

Am I overreacting here?

Or is this situation a little shady?

Thanks for the help!

[Anonymous]

I can understand her not inviting you to go to a doctors appointment with her or something like that but a concert? What if you like the band? In any case, it seems like a pretty fun event that one would normally enjoy going with their significant other to. Even if she thought it was something you would dislike, the invite would have been courteous because one can never know, maybe you're extremely bored and in the mood to see her and willing to accompany her to something.

Anyway, she didn't invite you for whatever reason but to invite Paul? Why Paul? And while coming over late on a Saturday seems sketchy at face value, it could just be highly coincidental, but coupled with the fact he's constantly inviting himself over, yeah something's up. As guys, we know when other guys are making subtle moves on a girl, and girl's seem to ALWAYS be completely oblivious to it until they wind up in a situation like at a bar and he's trying to make out with her and you're like "Yeah, I totally saw that coming all along" and they're like "But I thought he was just really friendly!"

Anyway, what I'm saying is that I would have found the whole thing to be rude and that I would most likely found Paul sketchy as well. If she wants to have a friends night out that's understandable but sometimes it's hard not to take offense to the way the situation is brought about, whether it's right or wrong is debatable but I'm just saying you're not alone in interpreting the situation the way you did.

[misterbill71]

Hmmm. my insticts tell me that you get a bad vibe from this paul guy because secretly he's got a crush on your girlfriend. Your girlfriend probably has no idea and thinks paul is just a sweet guy whom she would never date. I could be completely wrong, but that's what my gut is telling me.

[NikkiB123]

I think the situation sounds a little shady. Maybe she didn't invite you cause you don't like whoever is playing at the concert, or she thinks you won't. I don't know she should invite you though you are afterall her boyfriend. The Paul guy if she only hungout with him like 2-3 times and invited him because she claims you don't have to do "everything" together, and that he has no friends that's definitely shady. He may not have any friends but still if Emily invited her boyfriend she should invite you not some random other guy. She can do things with Paul other times and hey maybe you her and Paul could hangout sometime that way Paul could gain more friends, and you could be there too, to make sure everythings good.

[udolipixie]

She wants a friends night out. She shouldn't have to spend every event with her bf.

Her guy friend would like the concert more than you.

Her guy friend won't annoy her as much as you.

^ there are some bf/gf's you avoid doing certain things together because of their behavior.

Some guys don't take their girlfriend to the beach because she likes to be topless.

Some girls don't take bfs to concerts because he'll be far too rowdy.

[Asker]

thanks for the perspective.

but how would I annoy her ? haha

[udolipixie]

lol not all couples want to hear how annoying their partner thinks they are or can be.

Best not to ask unless you can handle it. But even if you ask she probably won't tell.

[udolipixie]

Another factor is if he friends like you- do they enjoy spending time with you & want to or is it you're a tag along and they're friendly but are her friends not your friends.

Some friends get tried of tag along bfs/gfs no matter how nice he/she is.

[SamiePie]

Maybe they are going to see a band that he would like so she asked him. Maybe she just didn't want to be smothered while she was enjoying herself. There are so many other reason that there could be so I think you're overreacting.

[kurozogo]

Hi .

I can't say if its shady or not , after all you know your girl better , but I will say that you should arrange to go somewhere out and have fun on Friday night ,

if you don't you will probably have hell that night , doubt is a bitch and when its there its hard to deal with .

In time things will clear out , but I would try to befriend the Paul guy just in case .

Good luck

[invisible_monster]

i go to concerts with my guy friends without my boyfriend all the time. It's nice to be able to go out with a guy and not have to be couply