Why won't my girlfriend invite me to the concert...she has extra tickets....?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my girlfriend Kara for 6 months.

We both get along well and like each other.

We are both 23, live fairly close to each other and see each other often.

Kara and her roommate Emily recently purchased eight tickets to a concert in our city.

There was a large discount if they purchased this many.

Anyway, Kara, her sister, Emily, her boyfriend, her cousin and a few others planned on attending the concert.

I was never invited.

Kara and Emily spoke about the concert several times -- even in front of me.

Still, I was never invited. The act performing was someone I would have seen -- Kara knows this.

Seeing that they had only 6 tickets used...instead of inviting me, Kara sold the last two on ebay.

I was upset.

Emily invited her boyfriend, how come Kara never invited me?

Kara claimed that we see each other a lot and that I do things without her (I have no idea what she is talking about).

It hurt my feelings that she is being shady by going to the concert without me, but not inviting me.

I am her boyfriend and while I understand we don't have to do every single thing together would she really rather sell a ticket than invite her boyfriend?

Kara's sister and cousin asked why I wasn't going and I explained I wasn't invited.

Kara seemed to get mad at me. It's almost like she isn't inviting me to get back at me for something.

But I have no idea what. The tickets were purchased months ago.

This hurt my feelings.

I understand my girlfriend might want to go out a night without me, but what about a girls night out for drinks or dinner?

Clearly this is not just a "friends" thing since Emily is bringing her boyfriend.

Am I overreacting?

I mean I do spend a lot of time with Kara, but still this upset me.

By the way, the concert was last week...I never ended up getting invited.

Thoughts?

Thanks!

[Darkfairie17]

That seems really thoughtless and mean :S My boyfriend did something similar to me a few months ago. He had tickets to go to this outdoor concert show, and he knew I wanted to go. I kept going on about how I would go if I had money, HE GOT THE TICKETS FOR FREE! FREE! And he didn't even offer to go with me. HE NEVER EVEN WENT! :S

I feel your pain!

I would talk to her about it. I mean really, that is pretty rude. I chose to get over it, because it wasn't worth fighting over for me. But at the time I was upset. I understand why a boyfriend or girlfriend would want to have a night to themselves, but her friend brought her boyfriend, I don't know why having you come along would have been so hard. But try to be understanding. It would be easier to sell two tickets than one IMO. Just for the fact that most people want to go with a friend to a concert. Perhaps she wanted to make some money. But I totally see your point of view as well. You should be more important to her than the cost of the tickets.

If she keeps doing stuff like this, I would seriously dump her. She sounds like she doesn't appreciate you. Find a girl who will, I always want my boyfriend to come to everything I do. I love spending time with him. I realize some people think that is clingy but I am OK without him. I just like spending time with him. I don't think that is a crime, and I think you probably feel the same about your gf.

[udolipixie]

1. I understand my girlfriend might want to go out a night without me, but what about a girls night out for drinks or dinner?
So she can only spend her free time with her female friends.

Controlling much?

Why can't she sound her time with her friends of both genders?

2. Am I overreacting?
Yes

She spends a lot of time with you.

Her friends probably feel neglected and want some time with her and not with her & you.

Some friends get tired of the tag along bf/gf.

Also are they her friends or are they your friends as well?

Do they invite you places and hang out with you without Kara?

3. "Kara claimed that we see each other a lot and that I do things without her (I have no idea what she is talking about)."

Didn't you just put "I mean I do spend a lot of time with Kara"

So which is it?

Also if you don't do things without her she may feel suffocated and would rather sell the ticket than endure your presence again. You can get sick of spending time together.

[DebiPie]

Did you straight out ask her why she didn't ask you if you wanted to go? Or did you tell her that you would like to go to the concert with her? I think the best thing to do in those situation is to ask & be straight forward about it. At the same time, you need to be ready to listen to the answer & be accepting of it. You may not agree with her, but try to understand what she tells you. I never think it's a good idea to "beat a dead horse" but it sounds like you may hold onto this until you get an answer, so talk to her about it and soon. Just tell her that you have been thinking about this and you just don't understand it at all & would like to talk to her about it and straighten it out. Then ask.

I agree with you, it was thoughtless of her. It would be good to hear her explain.

[lee-cooper]

haha I know that situation see you have been together for six months and you live close to each other and you see each other very often. your girlfriend wants you to miss her, however what you should do, stop asking about the concert, do something with your buds, better yet, do something with a female friend that she always wanted to do with u. (this can not be sexual or intimate)if you do this, she will think that you can easily substitute her, giving you more leverage within the leverage in your relationship.

[Shaun]

Yay! Games!

I'd say dump her and just take out the new girl on dates.

[lee-cooper]

lol shaun that's actually a good idea but I don't think this guy wants to dump her, right off the bat it seems like he is tolerant of her games. anyhwere yeah its only been 6 months and she is already making a friend's boyfriend a priority c'mon man. anyway bud, the choice is yours you can either play the games and win/lose or you can move on

[Phoenix52]

I don't know either. I'd be upset too, over it.

Couples do need space, but when it comes to events when both sides would enjoy it, why not spend it together?

By the sound of it though, Kara might be getting annoyed at spending TOO MUCH TIME together. Perhaps you're overdoing it, and she just wanted a night away from you.

I think what you need to do is spend more time on yourself, and less time with her. That way, she'll miss you more and think about you when you're away.

[upskrtcelebs]

No way, you're not over-reacting. Two things are either going on exclusively or together:

1) she is considering other guys and wanted to go out with some other dude that was also going to the concert. that wouldn't have worked well if you were there.
2) she's a nut, and is vindictive and like you said, is trying to get you back for some nonsense.

My advice is to not bring it up again, but consider this your excuse to try to have sex with other girls.

[Asker]

well I understand what you are saying and maybe I'm an idiot...but...i do spend a lot of time with her...sometimes 5-6 days a week. with her school schedule, plus seeing me it seems almost impossible to cheat and get away with it. plus if she was going with another dude do you really think she'd plan it 2 months in advance? especially with her sister, cousin and roommate and roommates boyfriend to be there? again, maybe I'm oblivious, but just a thought.

[upskrtcelebs]

Nahh you're right about that, she probably wouldn't plan it two months in advance if there was a specific dude, however I just want you to keep your guard up. Women lie a lot these days so there could still be someone lurking in the shadows. I've seen it all. Just make sure and cheat first.

[PicklesMr]

Maybe she just wants you to invite her? You are the guy, so it's your job :) Look for some events nearby on
for example, and buy tickets for you two for it there. It will be a great gift for her. Don't wait, just do :)

[bite_size]

I think you have a right to be upset I would too. I think the best thing to do in this situation is to ask her directly. If uve been in a long relationship you should be able to open up about these kinds of things.Maybe she didint realize she was upsetting you? maybe there's a good reason that she didint invite you.

[dtaijo174]

Did you offer to pay? Did you even bring it up before she sold them? Did she know the guy was going before she sold them?

[Asker]

i never offered, no.

yes, I brought it up several times.

as for the guy...you mean the roommates bf? yes, she knew he was coming all along.

[dtaijo174]

Well you should've offered to pay for the ticket... I don't know you, but maybe you are a little moochy and she didn't want to pay for you..?

Other than that, I agree with you. The offer should've been extended. something is up.

[Shaun]

She doesn't care about your feelings, or she would have talked to you about it. Of course you're going to respond that you're head over heels and that this woman is wonderful, so I'm not going to debate you.

[Shaun]

Exactly as I suspected.