A lady friend was dumped by this guy she's been married to for a few years. And she can't seem to get over it?

[Anonymous]

Let me start off by saying I've always had a lot of respect for this woman. She could have had any guy but she chose this guy. He wasn't a good choice, I've always maintained that. But whatever, it's her life to live. So fast forward a few years. This guy shows his true colors and leaves her for another woman. I get being upset about her marriage ending. But a year later this all she talks about. I'm patient but I'm about to say, "talk about something else or shut the f*** up"! "GOD"! She's far too sensible of a woman to be beat by this. Has she lost her Goddamn mind or was she always this f***ed up and I didn't see it. C'mon, it's been a year.

[Emerald55346]

Some people hold on to things like this for their whole life, she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with this person, so try to be a bit more compassionate as annoying as it is. I would try to change the topic when it comes up and if it still does come up, talk to her about it in terms of going to therapy/ putting herself back out there, you know be the voice of reason but remember no one likes to listen to the voice of reason unless it’s kind.

[Asker]

Agreed Emerald. But she ain't the only one who's ever been hurt before. I am patient, I have been patient. And she actually had herself checked in for depression. I'd hoped that would have been more successful.

[jennifer_bloom]

I was watching Dr. Phil and a beautiful fashion model who could have any guy she wanted spun into a depressive rage when her boyfriend or fiancé died in war since he was an army official and she entered an unhealthy lifestyle to cope and than lost her modelling career because she was a morbidly obese alcoholic with mental health issues. A lot of people find meaning outside themselves and not within and have nothing left when what is outside is taken from them.

[Asker]

Well she dated a guy since the divorce but that flamed out pretty quick. I thought she was doing it too early. Not saying she didn't like the guy. But I felt like it was a revenge relationship to show her ex husband that she was wanted. I don't know if she was doing more for her self esteem or as revenge.
I've been hurt and was in a funk for a year so I get where she's at. But I came out of it. And I tried to deal with mine more privately. She's never been a really emotional person at least not illogically. So that's why it's driving me nuts. She didn't lose anything in this guy. I could understand her pride taking a hit. But this guy while passionate, was a douche from the beginning.

[jennifer_bloom]

My theory is the people who focus too much on vanity, might have breaking points where they just snap and lose all sense. It happened to me when I was 9 years old and changed schools and my mom was mistreating me while my dad took business trips and wasn’t there to defend me. I lost my mind and I wasn’t normal again until I was 33. I will never snap again cause I’m religious and I don’t break when singular changes happen in my life but as a child, I depended on others for security and did not have my own sense of confidence.

[Guy13]

You are a good friend !! Just be present and available when the bottom really falls out. She’s in a state of denial, therefore, the grieving really has not started. This will be a long road for you both.

[Asker]

Well, I think it's coupled with the fact that her mom died so it's a double whammy. I think she feels abandoned by everyone who loves her. Which is why I feel so bad because I hate seeing good people hurt. I can understand the loss of her mom. But she didn't lose anything with her husband except invested years.

[boggboss]

So dont talk to her about it this shit happens to people its not that strange

[Asker]

I am avoiding her more now man so, duh! In that respect. But you don't abandon friends. At least not if you call yourself friend. But I can't help her in this only she can help herself. She's the one who has to realize she didn't really lose anything.

[boggboss]

Ofc but then what are ubasking she will have to work it out when she is ready nobody can force that

[Zayed_]

It’s complicated to its better that you shut up

[Asker]

Oh believe me man I have. But she won't that's the problem. And after a year my patience is exhausted.

[Zayed_]

I’m telling you to shut up not her, its her life.
It’s not if your business.
If you’re exhausted leave

[LazerBean]

What is your question?

[Asker]

Didn't you read the description? I ASKED has she always been this unbalanced and I'm just now seeing it because of the circumstances? I get grieving a divorce that wasn't your choice. But over a year?

[LazerBean]

Did read the description, and there's not a single question mark in it. My answer to the question that you just now asked would be that anyone who marries a loser has probably always had some sort of mental deficiency.