I'm friends with a girl and we've hung out for about a year and been friends for 2. She's a very guarded, non emotional, cold (you get the jist) woman. She hates physical contact, doesn't do hugs, when she begins dating a guy she hates hand holding, hates close proximity etc. She doesn't like being intimate or affectionate or anything of the sorts, she's a very dismissive avoidant.
We've built a good friendship however recently she's began to change around me and now is like two sides of the same coin. I've always been worried I suppose of saying something as a joke because she tends to take things too literally and it creates tension and aggro. She told me that she did like me once but then felt I was needy and lacked self confidence and she lost those feelings.
Anyway, I've started teasing her recently, with some even being a bit extreme and now, id say 65% of our time together she's now really goofy, playful, childish and teasing. She texts me every day and we ring 2 or 3 times a week for about an hour each time. We hang out all the time and have become joint at the hip. During this 65% of the time she touches me quite a bit, whether it be play fighting, just jokingly hitting my arm or leg, gets giggly when I grab her and doesn't mind when I do anything, whether it be stroke her leg, rub her back, hold her neck etc. You'd swear we were in a loving relationship.
However, the other 35% she returns to being cold. When I make a joke she calls me childish, she avoids close proximity to me, if I jokingly flirt she gets very serious and tells me to stop or gets angry or if I touch her she moves and get irritated and generally just goes back to being like talking to a wall.
If I ask her about it she says I'm annoying, or if I ask her a personal question when she's like this she gets annoyed because its not my business, yet 65% of the time she becomes vulnerable. What should I do and why has she suddenly began acting like this?
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Hmmmm that’s an interesting question. I’m not sure if I can answer this as I don’t know her whole backstory but I’ll try my best.
It seems that there may be something going on in her personal life (family) and she’s angry about it. Either that or she has bottled up her emotions so much that she can’t control them which leads to those mood swings. Or she could just be a bitchy friend. If I were you I would try to despite her getting angry have a serious conversation with her about why she’s acting like this. Remember if you do choose to have a talk with her don’t come on to strong go gradually and don’t overwhelm her with questions.
Of course she may become a talking wall again but wouldn’t it be worth it to see what’s causing all of these mood swings. However you should also check for signs of mental illness.
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