Why does my girlfriend randomly get moody, not tell me why, and then pretend nothing happened?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend got really moody yesterday, seemed depressed, would not tell me what was going on. Today she was a huge bitch. Then, all of the sudden, she feels better and says she can't wait to see me. Still won't tell me what happened.

Is this normal, should I just accept that women have random mood swings and just let it go? This isn't the first or second time this sort of thing has happened.

[selfishstars]

Well, sometimes people have random mood swings (men and women).

One of the big mistakes that guys often make is that their girlfriend/wife gets upset, and he just blows it off as "PMS"/"that time of the month"/"hormones"/"mood swings". Yes, sometimes hormones can cause mood swings, but often women end up having their feelings invalidated because a man just assumes she's just being hormonal, when in reality, she has legitimate reasons for being upset.

Basically, it's possible that your girlfriend is going through mood swings, but it's also possible that there was something legitimately bothering her. Don't just assume it was the former.

Talk to her. Tell her, "I noticed you seemed kind of depressed yesterday. I know that you said that it was nothing, but I just want to let you know that if there's anything bothering you, you can talk to me about it." Then it's up to her if she wants to talk to you about it (or maybe it wasn't anything in particular).

Although, if you find that it becomes a pattern where she won't tell you when something IS wrong, then I think you should have a more serious conversation about the importance of communication in a healthy relationship, and talking through problems to come to a solution/understanding, rather than letting them build up, become bigger problems, and/or cause resentment.

[toulouse]

Guys do this too. So I guess you should accept women and men do this. Or do you could TALK to her ... Discuss why you think she's acting the way you 'think' she's acting.

Just because someone acts like everything is OK after having a tantrum / mood swing. It doesn't mean you did not just witness evidence indicating the opposite. You were there. You know she flipped out. Or even if she says 'I'm fine;. You're entitled to ask why then did she just flip out... Or did she?

Maybe specify exactly what it is that has you thinking she's 'moody'. Maybe you're feeling down and projecting.

Deciding someone is upset then saying why do they pretend they are not upset. Is not exactly proof they are upset.

Anyway if you guys are in a relationship. You should be able to talk to her about this.

The only reason to ask us a general Q about your girlfriend. Is b-c you're looking for general answer that frees you of the responsibility of communicating.

I would go with talking to her. Tell her your concerns. Calmly. Rationally. Respectfully. Then see what she has to say.

[Asker]

I have been. She went out and says she feels all better. BUT still refuses to tell me why she was all distressed. I don't know if its something she doesn't want to involve me in or if she's just being immature.

[Anonymous]

Does this happen typically every 26-32 days? If so, then it's her menstrual cycle kicking in and you should just deal with it as it sounds like it's not going to go anywhere.

[asdaven]

Could be mood swings or something is going on. I hate when women deny something is wrong when there really is. Its just a barrier to necessary communication...dont pass it off and assume its random mood swings in case its not. She's your girlfriend, you care about her. Ask her. But be careful how much you pry for answers because you ll get labeled controlling and manipulative. And if you don't do enough, even though she's trying to deny and say nothings wrong...you'll get labeled as uncaring.