Does this alone make her a narcissist?

[Anonymous]

If a girl gets mad at you for ignoring her and then treats you like a bad guy, ghosting you with like no contact or acts mean with you while she's nice and friendly with everyone else, does that alone make her a narcissist?

[OlderAndWiser]

Narcissism is a personality disorder and it is diagnosed on the basis of recurring patterns in behavior over time. One action/inaction, in one instance, is woefully insufficient for diagnosing a personality disorder.

[Asker]

no its not a one action or one instance. it keeps happening a lot

[OlderAndWiser]

What difference does it make whether it is simply a personality trait or a personality disorder? Does one answer make it easier to handle or tolerate?

[HollyK21]

Given this context alone, I would say it’s hypocritical if anything. I try and see the full spectrum of situations though, for instance, why were you ignoring her? For you to say “then”, followed by listing all of her behavior, it makes it seem like she’s being petty because you were first. Don’t victimize yourself if you’ve had a hand in contributing to the drama as well, because then it just comes off at two immature people incapable of communicating like adults.

[Asker]

I was ignoring her due out of consideration since she seemed to be in a really bad mood like she wanted to be left alone and she does get offended very easily plus her friend also told me she is a very difficult girl. Thing is at the start she did try really hard to hit on me but at the time there was someone else I was having a thing with so I didn't show much interest in her as I didn't want to risk leading her on.

[HollyK21]

So with all of that in mind, do you really think it’s fair to call her a narcissist when your own actions are the catalyst for hers?
Your inability to be direct is creating unnecessary rift between you two, because it would’ve been so easy to just ask her if everything was ok rather than assume she’s in some horrible mood and doesn’t want to be bothered. If a guy I’m supposed to be at least cool with is suddenly ignoring me, it would put me out as well when I know I didn’t do anything to him. At the end of the day, she’s acting based on your behavior, so rather than making assumptions and acting off word of mouth, just go straight to the source and have an adult conversation.

[Asker]

yes I' am considering having a proper conversation with her. Although I did already tell her I really like her a lot and ask her out and she told me she's already got a boyfriend. But after that when she's was in a good mood she got really happy to see me like a spark lit up on her face like I've never seen before. And still seems to get mad at me for ignoring her which is only out of respect for the fact she told me she's already seeing someone and at the time she was in a tough leg work out so I did. If she's already seeing someone then why still get mad at me for ignoring her? But my point is she ignores me almost all the time. But if I do the same thing its like I become the bad guy

[HappyWoman34]

No. You possibly had a misunderstanding or don’t see eye to eye on certain things. I’d do what I do; firstly, try to make peace with her. Once. If it doesn’t work out, then leave her alone, move on and ignore her.

[Asker]

I did try to ignore her but then I catch her looking at me a lot and even freaking out when she sees me at times

[HappyWoman34]

Maybe she’s scared of you?

[Asker]

Should I go talk to her about it and tell her not to worry? thing is at the start she did try really hard to hit on me but at the time there was someone else I was having a thing with so I didn't show much interest in her and then one day I was ignoring her as she seemed to be in a very bad mood like she wanted to be left alone and then because of that she got mad at me and would give me angry looks and try to avoid me and when I tried to greet her she didn't show interest and acted repulsed. So then when I started ignoring her again to be respectful and considerate of that and i caught her looking at me and getting nervous at times when she'd see me.

[HappyWoman34]

Hmmm well, sounds like a similar story to my experience. The guy kept popping up where I was and sending me photos through social media and I heard through friends that he was plotting to destroy my reputation with our friend group, refused to associate with me and was accusing me of being a gold digger and a liar, as well as an emotional abuser, when all I’d done was stand up for myself after being insulted several times by him. My guy friend said he was talking about me inappropriately. I felt uneasy about him. So be aware that maybe you’re coming across badly or maybe w gossip has spread about you and true or not, she believes it. In my case, I wasn’t angry because of the rejection. I was angry by all the messages following it and the appearances and what my friends said about him. Maybe on the other hand, she’s just pissed that you rejected her. Maybe it looks like you’re trying to settle for her now. It could be any of the three. As I don’t know you or her, I don’t know which it is.

[HappyWoman34]

I made 5 attempts to reach out. All were rudely rebuffed. According to mutual friends. I’d suggest you make 3. If it doesn’t work, let it be.

[Asker]

well its only after I started ignoring her is when she started getting nervous seeing me which was only one time. And even before she hit on me she had already seeing me coming to the gym at almost the same time as she did. And like I said above I did already tell her I really like her a lot and ask her out and she told me she's already got a boyfriend. But after that when she's was in a good mood she got really happy to see me like a spark lit up on her face like I've never seen before. And still seems to get mad at me for ignoring her which is only out of respect for the fact she told me she's already seeing someone and at the time she was in a tough leg work out so I did. If she's already seeing someone then why still get mad at me for ignoring her?

[HappyWoman34]

Not sure.. might be a good idea to ask her?

[Anonymous]

No. She's just mad at you for ignoring her.

[Opinion Owner]

If someone ignored me for a couple of days I would stop talking to them too