Is it selfish that I dont want my sister to go to the same plastic surgeon as me?

[Anonymous]

She has a habit of following me and copying me although i am younger. Further she likes to claim things as in when were watching a movie, if she thinks a character is the most attractive, she will say they have similar traits and try to say that I have similar traits to another character whom she finds less attractive. She knew that purple was my favourite color, and she would try to claim it and wear all purple and say thats her favourite.

[Oliverlogan263]

That does sound really annoying about your sister always copying you and trying to one-up you. I'd be mad too. When it comes to the plastic surgeon though, I don't think it's that big a deal to not want her to go to the same one as you. Like you probably want to keep some things private from her, y'know? And if she goes there too she'll just compare whatever work you get done and try to steal your thunder or something lame like that. I say find your own surgeon and don't tell her who it is. Or if she finds out anyway and wants to book with them too, you could tell the doc you don't want her in the same appointments as you so she doesn't butt in. It's not really being selfish, it's having some boundaries. You should be able to do your own thing without her tagging along. Don't feel bad about keeping this to yourself. Just do you!

[Asker]

Thank you so much, I feel bad cuz she paid for plane tickets though and also she said she wanted to go to the exact same one as me due to safety reasons. She wanted me to go with her to take her to the surgeon. Because the surgeon doesn’t speak the same language so it’ll be hard to tell him. I don’t know should I bring her to a different one from the same company?

[Asker]

I don’t even want to bring her to someone from the company.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that does put you in an awkward spot if she's already booked it all. And I get she'd wanna feel safe with someone who speaks her language for a major surgery.

Could you maybe look up other docs near you who are also highly rated and speak her language? That way she's still covered but doesn't HAVE to go to your actual surgeon.

Like "hey sis I found this other guy a few towns over that's supposed to be great too! Let me go with you for the consultation so we can both feel good about it."

Maybe spin it as you wanting her to have her OWN experience instead of following in your footsteps, you know? That way she still gets support but it's not directly copying you.

If she pushes back, you could always tell her straight like "look I love you but I need my space with this. Let's find your own person or I won't go with you at all." She should understand needing boundaries!

Hope you can find a compromise where you both feel heard but she's not literally breathing down your neck during the whole surgery thing too. Good luck sis!

[Asker]

she kept insisting on going to the same one as me

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, your sister really isn't budging on this one, huh? That's super annoying that she won't even consider another doc.

If it was me, I'd tell her flat out - "Sis, I hear your concerns but this is my decision and I'm not comfortable with you copying me again. I'll help set you up with someone else good in the same practice, end of discussion."

Don't let her guilt or pressure you into changing your mind. Stand your ground, girl! You gotta put your foot down or she'll walk all over you forever.

Also consider just taking a step back from managing all the logistics if she's gonna be difficult. Say your piece then let her adult and figure it out herself. Not your job to hold her hand through everything.

Maybe find an English-speaking friend of hers in the city who can help instead of you playing translator. That way she still has support but you're not super involved. Boundaries are healthy, you know?

Don't feel bad - you tried compromising, she ain't having it. Now it's time to look out for number one (you!). Do what's right for you. She'll live.

[Anonymous]

You need to grow up. Sounds like she does too. Yes you’re selfish, you both are. What you don’t like in her is basically what you don’t see in yourself as well.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're 14 years old. Really. Why does it matter if she does those things? It affects you how? It hurts your feelings that she likes purple, jokes around as siblings do and want to use the same plastic surgeon as you did because she obviously thinks they did a good job?

[Asker]

because shut up

[OlderAndWiser]

Single White Female.