22 yo. Common when myself esteem is low for girls to like me then are very cold or superficial. I need friends not dating. They feel rejected?

[Dames]

Has happened over 50 times in my young sad life... i have high standards and usually can't meet my own so i dont date. Girls will be attracted and i crave connection so I make it clear i'm interested in who they are. They usually like this then a few days later suddenly won't talk to me or won't do so authentically. Super... hurtful

[MrNameless]

I was like you before.. This is an easy fix.

1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Have confidence in everything you do. Keep yourself busy.

2. Don't have an entitled mindset. Expect respect, but make sure you give it of course. Women don't owe you sex for treating them out. You need to build a connection with them.

3. This goes back to #1. Work on yourself. Learn from your mistakes from every encounter. Look for any red flag behaviors you might have and fix them. Don't be needy or a creep. Work on your approach to women. Make sure you are friendly, have nice clothes, good hygiene, etc. Get a stable job and just be ambitious with your life and career path.

Also.. Here's the thing: If you have high standards, you better be able to match that yourself. You're only 22 and just starting your life. You don't have the wealth and maturity to get all the women you want.

4. Keep talking and dating women. Via clubs, schools, online dating apps, etc. Where women would typically meet. It's also fine to just be friends with a woman first and then date. Understand that its a numbers game and you shouldn't emotionally invest yourself too much at the beginning. You'll go through a lot of dates and perhaps a lot of heartbreak. But keep your expectations low and never take it personally when things don't work out Just keep dating. Rejection is part of the game Learn to take it in stride. You'll get used to it!

[MrNameless]

Also, be a gentleman and expect to pay for the first date. If she really insists on splitting, that's fine too. But for men, you have more to lose if you don't try to pay for the first date--especially if you ask her out. All women are different, but just cover yourself and don't offer to split on the first. You never know how she truly feels about it.

[MrNameless]

I actually dont undestand how you want us to help you.. or understand your question. I hope i gave the correct advice to you. I just got that you have been rejected 50 times and have low self esteem and feel sorry for yourself. But you also have a entitled and narcissistic mindset as well--which i suggest you lose asap. Having an mindset like Elliot Rodger will not help you. If you really want a girl, just go for it. Don't wait them to come to you. And communicate clearly and don't play any mindgames. It's a waste of time and just gonna have them resent you.

[Flatmanlewis]

I see a few things you could focus on, based on this limited information. First, you’re very young so maybe just slow down and focus on living daily life and improving yourself through a few paths. Fitness. Religion. Education. Income. Professional growth. Something. This builds on your total self and you one day wake up as a man of substance and worth.


Second, you say you have a high-standard but I’ve found (in my limited experience) for most men under 30 this really only equates to a woman’s looks. I may be wrong and if I am disregard what I’m about to say, but if this is true just know that below 30 a really hot girl is generally looking for a pretty exceptional guy. . The simple math of her life means she gets hit on a dozen times a day - and that’s not an exaggeration. If you are the guy hitting on the really hot chick you need to be able to rise above the competition to even be noticed. This goes back to the build yourself up aspect of my advice. You can stand out a lot of ways and women tend to look for more than just attractiveness in a man so being great at something can really be enough but put in the work for the goal. Most importantly let the goal of self improvement be for YOU and not just to impress girls. If that’s the sole motive it’s fake, you won’t be successful, and a lot of women can smell BS faster than you can cover it up so you’ll only push more away than you’ll attract.

[_Maya_]

I am not sure what you are asking here. What advice are you seeking? How to make this all better? So from the very brief amount of info that you give I can’t tell you a whole lot. My first instinct is to say you are meeting the wrong girls in the wrong place but you don’t even say where you are meeting them so I have no clue how to remedy that. My best advice is you are only 22 so not much younger than me. Just be patient and give it some time. I got class tomorrow. I will be asleep soon but if I see a reply I will try and answer. If not will do tomorrow for sure. Don’t give up hope just yet. It

[thatshydork]

I’m not entirely sure of what you’re asking, but most women I know aren’t just turned off because of men only wanting to get to know them. It could be that maybe you’re thinking that because they’re nice to you that they’re interested when they’re not or maybe they’re just not ready for a relationship. It could be anything. With such little detail, it’s hard to tell what’s going on.

[lightbulb27]

somethings going wrong, maybe what you are projecting? Girls often don't like needy and that's what sounds like. just have to find right person and takes time.

[OlderAndWiser]

“Extremely high standards” usually means that you have been told you should be dating, but that isn’t what you want, so you aren’t these insurmountable barriers so that you pretend you’re trying but nothing ever happens. That is dishonest and most people see through that smoke screen.

[Cody2004]

I feel the same thing that you do actually, personally what helps for me is I tell them that isn't their fault but I'm just not ready to date I don't say yes or no. I'm just straight up I say I'm willing to be friends for now but I need to get my head right before anything like that. Some people act cold towards that some people understand so you're bound to have both reactions to it.

[RavVid]

I can relate to not meeting my own standards :) Maybe try being not so easy? Interested to a degree but not falling over yourself. Alexander Grace has said some stuff on YT. He says it is like a cold call sale when you ask a girl out. You're the supplicant which puts her above. I'll see if I can find the vid and link if I do.

[TheSpider]

Son, you ain't but a tiny tad pole in a big ol world. I'd simmer down if I were you. Take it easy and don't worry about girls yet. If you are lonely get a dog or cat. Seriously, though don't be messing with women when you should be exploring life. Thats what your late 20s are for.

[WhitneySnow]

They’re hurt when you friendzone them. Make it clear when you first start talking that you’re only interested in friends and they won’t be so hurt.

Interesting. You have the opposite problem that I’ve heard a lot of guys say they have.

[Avicenna]

You need some counseling to get better at relating to women

[In_Trance]

so what's your question