No matter what I do I'm always rejected by all women. Literally every dark skin black girl I've ever talked to has turned me down no matter how confident and no matter how I dressed. It's like women only care about your looks. Meanwhile all my handsome friends have girlfriends and question if I'm gay. I heard that women only go for the top 20% of men and im only 5'10 so I'm screwed. I'm sorry for being such a disappointment. Does this mean I'm destined to be alone forever? Pics of me. I work out and everything and my skincare routine is decent. I tried tinder and I still have 0 matches. It sucks. I've tried the best I can but if it's time to give up, I'm finished.
How come no matter how confident I am, girls reject me?
Looks matter of course, but so does personality. I've usually done well with women I've gotten to know which I think is due to I'm easy to get along with. They tend to like my personality. I am not sure how much personality really matters though. I used to meet my women with my best friend years ago and he'd meet girls well with me, but they would never stay interested in him long. I think it was because he wasn't a very serious guy with them while I ooze out honesty and loyalty.
I'm not sure if you feel insulted (I didn't want that), but maybe your interactions with these girls as been the issue? I'm not sure. I'm not gay but my guess is there would be women interested in you physically.
agree about the personality, and would add to that social status is a great way to get women. So hanging out more with more people, being social, i has multiple benefits: 1. more practice socializing makes you better at it 2. more social interactions makes you more well known, which raises social status, which raises your attraction. There's nothing like going on a date with a girl you like and wherever you go, people are waving to you, talking to you, happy to see you, and telling the girl how nice you are. She feels like she's on the arm of a celebrity (and starts to think how she would be gaining a spotlight at/near the center of attention as well).
If your body is good, your personality could be lacking. If your personality is good your body could be lacking.
You might have a spot on your tooth, you might not smell good enough. Maybe your eyebrow is just slightly asymmetrical, or maybe you didn't tie your shoes the same way on both feet...
Whatever man. Girls think guys are just getting laid left and right cause' they are and are doing it with other guys. As we can see, that's just not the case.
I don't think you can have any control over it. It's pretty mind blowing.
Yeah I agree. seems like they just make up some excuse as to why I can't get any girls wheneverni speak about my problem. Like it's crazy, they'll say it's your personality, it's because you chase women, it's because you say you want to get laid, it's your confidence... It's so dumb Lol
Okay personally, I wouldn't match with you because you don't seem approachable and friendly. Guys who take pictures of themselves shirtless in gyms usually come across as arrogant and that's a turn off for many women. You're an attractive guy, but get rid of the shirtless pic and include more pics of you smiling or doing some fun activities and you'll get more matches. Right now, you come across as an intimidating player.
@Hannah591 good spot on the chat, and looks like there's a small pile of them underneath that notification. so yeah, sounds like downplaying the interactions you've got @TFLincel
You’re absolutely fine maybe girls think you might reject them and are intimidated by your very toned physique. You know what? Give up tinder go for athletic girls and at gyms but not during workout. Before or after or be chivalrous at the water fountain. You might just find a great convo or a great date.
You look like a hit and run kind of guy. A player.
And you're black. Blacks are just desired less often... except for a quick fuck... and that's usually if the girl has a fetish for huge cocks, which isn't even something all black men can offer...
You've only focused on external things that's not confidence. Confidence is being fine if things are going your way or not. And you're losing it because things aren't going the way you want. I think you've put a lot of work into working out and that's great, I applaud you for that but now try and work on your inner self as well. Fears, trauma, they affect your behavior and make you tense and anxious. This process can take time and hard work but it will help you a lot. To become a resilient and emotionally stable person who can communicate well their needs and their boundaries. That should be your goal :) Also to be happy with or without a girlfriend.
I am mentally disabled and I found a girlfriend in the end. It took me a long time but it happened. I'm still learning though about love, how to love someone and if she's the right woman for me in the long run. There's a lot of things I'm still figuring out.
From your pictures you seem like a sympathetic guy I think you can definitely do it :).
Keep working on yourself and don't give up :) And maybe don't focus as much on appearances and external things. It feels a bit like you're trying to live a life based on what you see on social media, what other people like, and not a life based on listening to yourself and what makes you happy.
Don't give up, things always seem to happen when you least expect them to. For me, looks have always been way down the list of things that attracted me to a guy, height never an issue, looks maybe a little bit, but the personality was always #1 for me. Being able to just talk, carry on a good conversation about anything, being honest about himself and being able to make eye contact are important to me. Who knows, maybe you find some common interests, just seems like maybe you're trying a bit too hard, just relax and be yourself. Seems to me that you take good care of yourself, which is really a plus, and I'd say you've got a great smile, so maybe it just takes a bit of time to find the right girl, so don't lose hope.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Shut the fuck up you liar. Everybody here knows that you’re lying. Insecure dudes don’t post 3 shirtless pics and a headshot for people to gaze upon. Stop lying. You’re clearly an attractive and confident dude and you probably get a lot of attention from women. Maybe your personality sucks cause you’re a liar.
@jonesjessica812 This isn’t about you. But clearly that guy is attractive and confident and women like attractive and confident men. I doubt he has any trouble with women.
@VaIiant He probably gets plenty of matches and he’s just here fishing for compliments. A guy like that should have no problem with women unless he has the worst personality ever.
@VaIiant So you’re telling me that women aren’t generally attracted to handsome well muscled men? What planet do you live on? This man is clearly fishing for compliments.
@VaIiant Once again, he’s fucking gorgeous. There’s basically no reason that girls wouldn’t want to match with him, unless his personality was garbage. I’m sure some girls would be intimidated by him, but I’m sure that there would still be plenty other girls who are interested in him and wanting to match with him.
@jonesjessica812 Probably not, though its just like you to make this a race thing. Im not a fan of his hair, and I dont like facial hair on a man- I also think he's a gym rat and thats not attractive to me. Plus, doesn't smile in photos.
See that last picture, I would have matched with you, but all the topless pictures, no, you'd come over as the gym junkie, maybe you are, I do not know. But I want people to show more than just muscle, more about their life, their hobbies, travels
Its your photos. you're certainly attractive (if thats you). Have a friend take photos of you well dressed and smiling- shirtless, intimidating scares, while you look attractive, dont look like someone I'd look for.
Looks don't matter as much as you might think. If you're doing something wrong, it is almost certainly behavioural. In particular there is somewhat of a paradox with female behaviour in that they like guys that seem dangerous in general, BUT they also need to feel safe around said guy. If they don't feel personally safe, they won't come near... but if the guy doesn't seem "dangerous" at all then they'll disregard him as boring. Trying to find the balancing point is tricky.
Congrats on your gains lots of hard work and discipline there girls like muscles hard to deny that. Nice teeth got all your hair you must not be exposed to the right crowd of girls yet. Tinder, pof okstupid etc are all shit and an ego destroyer. I enjoyed the meetup app when i had more time, just low key meeting large groups of people some singles events check it out if you havnt already.
Whut? You look great. Maybe you’re coming off as overly confident? You can try experimenting with different things like being sweet and mellow or humble and just see what works.
If you think it depends only on confidence and how you dress/look, that might be where you go wrong. Sure, both are nice, but the genuine nature of a person is the most important part
Ah, that might be my issue then. If you honestly interpreted that as an insult or a claim that "you're fake", that might be what's going wrong. I'm simply stating that you need to stop focusing so much on those 2 things you seem to think are important and let your personality do the talking
I'm not insulted. Also, you don't know what I'm focusing on lol. I haven't told you what I do or talk about when I approach women, you just made a massive assumption. And what do you mean by let my personality do the talking? What exactly do you think I do when I talk to a girl omg. It's like you have no idea as to what I'm doing and just making up a random excuse based on assumptions. I really don't think my problem is to let my personality do the talking. You're flat out lying for some reason.
Well as it is about you, and you've given all the information you see fit, that is the logical conclusion. You've made it more than clear that it's your style and confidence that you think are the prime factors, not anything else. Learn to not take things as personal attacks, and to actually explain yourself instead of getting offended over someone using the information you've willingly given to them. Simple stuff
The whole mindset/world is just look cute and happy. Asking for advice there is nearly pontless.
She's saying you're too quick to jump down her throat with accusations but never actually gives you any good advice in the end. All she said, ultimately, is that you shouldn't cut her off -- ie. she got mad at you.
Not very helpful in my opinion.
I think if you actually want results you need to be gentler with girls. It will be weird and fake to you but ultimately they will probably like it.
I'm not mad. Mad would mean I'd have reason to be upset, which there is none. A random guy on the internet not able to vocalise isn't concern to get mad about.
Your "advice" does nothing but damage this guy, clearly. If he has to act "weird and fake" to get women to like him, both him and the woman will be living a lie and he will mentally struggle to be someone he's not. In fact, what I said in the first place is that you should be yourself and not be to concerned with trying to style yourself in a way you guess others will like. It's not healthy for anyone involved
Actually his advise is better. He's just telling me to be a good person even though it won't actually do anything. He's already acknowledged that there's pretty much nothing I can do, but you're just dancing around it and making weird excuses and assumptions. What i really don't understand is how you can come here and make such a comment but know very well how many guys you rejected solely based on their appearance. Do you just think in your head that most girls except for you will like my looks or something? I think the problem here is you. Women for some reason just imagine that the next girl will like a guy she doesn't when the truth is, 2000 girls will say the same thing in a row, reject him solely based on looks and move on. You literally have groups of friends who all x out a specific guy based on looks. You're such an embarrassment to your own character
They might ask if you are gay because only gay people cares that much about body. Try to change your approach what about read some books? And then you tell the girl “ I am reading this book that I really like you remind me of the girl in this book described as one of the most beautiful in the world” believe in me ;)
I can only presume your confidence doesn't come naturally, and is forced. Confidence is more than just trying ones best to seem extroverted. It needs to come naturally.
Don't think it's my skin tone. Dark skin girls are the most accepting when it comes to that else they'd all be skin bleaching. Most dark skin girls like dark skin guys so it's probably just me. If you go to those handsome darkskin Instagram pages, it's 99% darkskin women as well. So it's probably just me and you're projecting your own taste as most women are dumb enough to do 😒
I'm super curious, how did you ever come to such a conclusion? I've never heard that dark skin women don't like dark men. Even the dark girls who date white guys don't ever say that LOL.
well for one I like dark skinned black men. My boyfriend is dark. Hell my daddy is dark. Bit in my generation, dark skinned girls aren’t very confident so they go for lighter skin/ white men so they can have “pretty babies”. I hear it and see it all the time. I don't know where you been at...
Most Helpful Opinions