I have a younger sister. We have always been close but it has always been this feeling deep in my spirit that she doesn’t really want to see me progress in life because she wants to be the one to do everything first. We’re only two years apart. At first it was a feeling that turned into a fact, at least to me it turned into a fact. For example. I’m going to start taking driving classes. She knew about this months ago and she started to take them before me, which was fine but the momenr it came time for me to start taking mines she starts saying things like “You can’t take driving lessons without a permit. You have to get that first.” And then it was “You work overnights. They won’t let you drive straight off a work because you’ll be too tired.” Then it was “Do you know the basic rules of the road?” All things she said was able to be accomplished. I can get my permit, there’s a study book for rules of the road and why would I tell the teacher in drivers classes that I just got off work just for them to turn me around? because that’s the only way they would turn me around is if they knew. I don’t have to tell them and it’s all a sacrifice. I know I work overnights but why would I allow that to stop me from progressing in another stage of life. At the end of all that she says “You know some people never learn how to drive. It’s nothing wrong with that.” Like she’s literally saying things, not even realizing it, sort of like subconsciously speaking, to slow me down from “catching up” to her. She already has a degree that she so often throws in my face. Yet again, subconsciously. One time I said ”Physical insecurities are shallow. Insecurities go much deeper than that.” Because we were having a conversation about confidence. She goes “I know that. I have a degree in psychology.” As if it takes having a degree to know that. I love her very much but it seems like she doesn’t want to see me grow in life.
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