Girls, what’s going on she gets mad at everything and expects everything from me?

[Anonymous]

so my best friend keeps getting mad at me for everything, to the point were she thinks I’m supposed to drop anything for her and if I don’t she gets upset with me.

we have been friends for awhile and we had one instant were feelings came to play and there was issues and she didn’t want to work them out and said friends was it so we wouldn’t lose each other…and a couple of months passed and she started to act like she had feelings, we always had to hangout daily we started staying over at each others places introducing them to our own personal circles and she was making it out like we were together to all her friends and they even would say we were a couple. Which confused the mess out of me bc she would always reject me if i brought up anything about us being serious but then she tells her friends we were something.

then she got mad bc i didn’t start a convo with her on a way home once and she refused to talk or see me and she claimed that was it then a few days later after everything went back to were they were she ghosted me on plans she made which was weird so I tried to see if she was ok and she went off on how we were friends nothing more but everything had to stay the same.

so I backed off and we talk every once in awhile but she acts interested to talk and wants me to come see her and do all this and that then gets extremely mad over small things now, recently she got furious bc i didn’t drop everything to bring her something while we live in different towns and gets mad over other similar things like I’m supposed to prioritize her in everything when she doesn’t do anything towards me like it’s a privilege for me to do stuff for her.

i tried to summarize the best I could, I don't know what’s going on we have always just clicked and now it’s a struggle, so what’s everyone’s opinion of what’s going on or why she is possibly acting the way she has.

[Seriouslyjojo]

Let me start off by saying I’m extremely sorry that you are in this situation. I have a few theories of what may be happening, but there are some key points to take away from this that I will share at the end.

Situation 1: She is keeping you on the sidelines until she either finds a guy that is exactly what she wants, or she settles with you. (I’m sorry this was very harsh to say, but I couldn’t think of another way to put it). There are some girls I have seen use this tactic. They constantly are hot and cold with the guy and keep them on a tight-leash. They don’t want you to find someone, so they get your hopes up of you getting in a relationship with them, but then act cold when they start talking to a new guy.

Situation 2: She may not want you, but that doesn’t mean she wants someone else to have you. This is another crappy situation because she will constantly be hot and cold here too. She wants you to be at her beck and call, so to speak, but she doesn’t want to actually date you. She wants all the benefits from an actual relationship, but doesn’t want to give you much in return other than sweet words.

takeaways: The best thing you can do in this situation is to start creating boundaries. I know this may be hard, but you have to. From what I have read here, you are letting her take advantage of your kindness and love for her. I know this next thing I say may not be comfortable, but in this situation you have to talk with her about how you’re feeling. Tell her point blank how you feel and see how she responds. All relationships have to have communication or else we can’t have one at all.

One of the hardest things is to lose a relationship/ friendship you have gotten comfortable with, but not all relationships that are comfortable are actually good for you.

Another thing is that if she keeps acting the way you are saying, is to cut contact, but I will stress that you talk to her first, so she knows why she’s being cut out.

Once again I am truly sorry that you have been put in this situation and I hope that it works out for you. 💜

~SeriouslyJojo