I feel very insecure about being plus size and I project it on other women. How can I stop my nagative thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I can’t lie I feel very insecure in myself because I am plus size and I don’t say my thoughts out loud to other people but I project a lot in my thinking. For example, when I see confident plus size women I think to myself “what’s there to be proud about” “i know you know you don’t look good but you just say these things to cope” etc etc. These are more of thoughts I have about myself but I project these ideas on people who have my body but show confidence… how can I stop my negative thinking?

Updates

+1 y

- people telling me to diet are missing the point. I have been dieting my whole life its not easy for me to change my body especially because it responds slowly to change. I have already lost a lot of weight but i am still plus size and I still feel ugly regardless. Like i am not writing this post to hear that i should diet which I've heard my entire life. Its about ways in which i could tackle my negative thoughts and project it on other women who are confident just because i am not

[Anonymous]

Some Big Beautiful Women just accept the way they are and it really doesn't bother them.

I once knew this lady and her butt and hips carried the brunt of her weight. She was wide alright, but she carried herself in a very feminine way.

She walked kinda slow but it was the the way she carried herself while walking - so femine that she didn't draw attention to herself. She spoke in a soft feminine voice as well.

But you know what was so special about this woman is that she is the kindest, caring person, always willing to help anyone day or night and never complained about it. I loved who she was on the inside her outside didn't matter.

So, maybe you will read this and get some ideas. It will make you feel better on the inside if you only focus on yourself and make your inside shine!

Be the best person you can be. Stay focused on improving yoursef. You won't even have to feed confident because people will be drawn to you if you are like the woman I just wrote about.

You can do it!!🌹

[PeachyPie93]

Negative thoughts will always bring you down and are not helpful to you or your life in any way. I suggest trying to change how you feel about yourself and realize you need to love yourself to try to make anything better. The only thing that will put you on a better track is knowing you need to love yourself by getting healthy things into your body by eating healthier, and try to get some exercise in at least 3 times a week. It can be hard to love yourself when you don't like what you see in the mirror but try to pick out things you like and really feel good about, it can be your skin, your eyes, your face, your hands/nails/hair anything! Then try to make yourself look good, because when you put a bit of effort in, it helps you feel better all around. It's the only thing that will help things get better, because constantly putting yourself and others down will not change anything and will make you feel worse. I don't believe in eating loads and promoting being fat but I don't believe in hating on fat people because everyone struggles with issues and low self esteem. I think the best thing you can do is just try to be grateful you still got your health and youth to hopefully help you get to a place where you can love yourself. If you can't do it alone I suggest getting a trainer or a friend who will push you, or joining a group like weight watchers, so you have people to keep you accountable. Anyways best of luck and keep your head up you have no reason to feel bad about yourself!

[Flatmanlewis]

So I may be over analyzing your question but it implies the issue is you are insecure about being plus size, as if the guidance you were seeking would lead you to being less insecure about being plus size.


If this is the case know this - everybody is insecure about something. Even the most confident person you have ever met, has a self doubt buried deep inside them. Often times that is part of what drives them to be so (apparently) successful and confident.


The true thing you should be seeking, in my humble opinion, is not gaining comfort with being plus size but adopting a healthy and fit lifestyle. This is both remarkably simple AND intimidating as well.


Seek professional guidance (and not at some female empowerment gym or contact-up-front chain gym) but a real fitness place for fit people. It WILL be intimidating and uncomfortable but all growth is.

[genericname85]

why stop the negative thoughts? you know "pointless" negative thoughts are a case for psychotherapy. but if you're fat and you feel bad about it, that "feeling bad about it" litterally exists to motivate you to do something about it. so go do that, to make that bad feeling go away.

[cince200X]

Look!

Just follow me, You have to be a self disciplined person and for that you have to join a other self discipline person means who is serious with his or her health.

Daily go for running with him and 50km in a week will lose your weight by 1kg.

and avoid sugar content things like ice cream, biscuits. Avoid oily things.

Eat soya chunks, sattu, chana, seeds, pulses more.

And if you cannot do this. Just become a humble and helping person bcz everyone loves this kind of guy.

[Rei13]

I think you need to work on healing your image of yourself. There are physical qualities about yourself that are still attractive when you’re bigger and self love goes a long way even if you find it difficult right now. That being said you can also make tiny steps to change your current lifestyle into a healthier one. While I think everyone should love themselves and be confident at every size you should also strive to be the best version of yourself you can be. Eating better and moving more does a lot for your mental health and improves your appearance when you’re looking in the mirror. It doesn’t even have to be vigorous exercise, walking is low impact and can contribute to weight loss

[RingOfFire]

You are who you are but be glad that you have a condition that you can do something about. Many people have conditions that they cannot change.

Think of it as having an opportunity and take action to take advantage of it. Working towards a goal to improve yourself is always a remedy for feeling self-conscious and a way to feel more confident and empowered.

[Anonymous]

Well for one if your plus size you could change those negative thoughts by cutting the weight. Maybe some therapy, especially if you were always plus size growing up. Maybe people made fun of you or something. Some self help books would help as well. Maybe finding some groups who have the same body figure as yourself who are trying to encourage each other to exercise, eat better, have fun.

[AmazonChick171]

If you don’t like the way you look, just work out. If you keep feeding into negative thoughts, it’s just going to bring you down and you will stay down. Stop worrying about what people think and do you.
Just work out and eat right.

[JacobJordan]

It isn't negative it is accurate. Being fat is not something to proud of. You realized that hence why you are insecure about it. Good first step because the first step to solving any problem is realizing there is one.

[sheenagwapa]

i am sorry. i am big too. with myself i just focus on myself and what i want to happen. i have a body goal until now i have not achieve but really i just focus on myself

[alice55]

Dieting.

It's much easier to diet than accepting yourself. One coffee and one plate of tomato pasta and there you'll lose one kg per weeks.

[Pohjolan]

A lifestyle change is sustainable, dieting less so.

[HawkPerception]

Start working out and dieting. You can lose a ton of weight within even a month and feel much more confident each time.

[HawkPerception]

I'm sorry to hear that you're annoyed by the advice, but it's honest advice. Your diet needs to have very little or ideally no sugar. Cut out most soft drinks, juices, alcohol (unless it's once in a while). To lose significant weight you need a caloric deficit and a diet that supports thyroid function.

I'm not saying that starving yourself is the way to go. But have you ever seen a single overweight plus sized person that was starving in 3rd world countries? They're all sticks and bones. So either you are not working out enough, you're not dieting well enough or both.

[hahahmm]

You're right. People shouldn't be proud of being plus size. Focus on eating healthier and exercise. You can do it.

[hahahmm]

Re: update. I never used the word diet. I am old enough to remember when like 99.99% of people were fit & healthy. We had less processed foods and got more exercise back then. It's a hint. Now people have all these excuses for being fat and out of shape. I don't buy it when I hear those excuses cause I lived in a time when nobody had excuses & people were better off. Good luck.

[Nikki1989]

Change your mindset and stop listening to other people.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

You're going to have to learn just to focus on yourself.

Discipline yourself not to worry about others as you're just wasting valuable time doing so.

[andreasderjuengere]

Get busy with stuff where appearance does not matter?

[captain_voidwalker]

I don't mean this as an insult but go to the gym. Fuck those body positivity people. You should absolutely work towards self improvement

[boobliker]

walk more and eat less is a good start it will make you feel better about your self

[bobby_bush_eater]

Change your habits, start with your diet and light exercise and progress more and more

[Pohjolan]

Being "plus size" is optional.

Just eat healthy and do some sports regularly.

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT SOMETIMES YOU CAN GET A AMAZING PRESENT AND YOU CAN GET IT IN ALL KINDS OF WPAPPING!!!

[Anonymous]

if you lose weight, or get a hobby, maybe you'll be better off.

[Opinion Owner]

like, take that time you're being negative and turn it into doing something more productive... like writing or something.

[Dongie]

Not being rude but is there a reason exercise can't help? Trim a little and gain that confidence.

[handsomelad70]

Learn to love yourself and accept your size as a part of you.

[ceren27]

someone is gonna have to convert sooner and later and usually they convert towards atheism moree

[Pinknat]

Love yourself first then you will see the changes

[hunterhan]

plus size so sexy for me...

[HelpfulWoman]

so seek therapy

[Drewtate]

By losing weight.

[jahaims]

Get healthy

[Staximus]

Lose the fat

[Anonymous]

Lose weight