I’m jealous of petite small women. How can I stop feeling bad about being bigger?

Question

I’m in no ways fat i’m 130 and 5’9” but I’m physically bigger than most women, I take up space. I look clunky and awkward. I think I’m pretty, men like me it’s not a attraction issue (mostly) but I feel so much less feminine. Whenever a man chooses a smaller delicate woman over me it hurts it’s makes me feel huge and large. Sometimes just seeing pretty tiny girls makes me wonder how much happier I would’ve been being small.

It doesn’t help all my friends are little they’re cute and pretty. They can get away with dressing more guyish and acting more tomboyish because they will still be small and cute. If I act goofy I look like godzilla. I’m too big to act funny without looking genuinely monasteries, I can be pretty but I can never be cute and dainty.

Everything I do is big, my laugh, the way I walk my clothes, and hair it just feels terrible… Some say height looks powerful I don’t want to be powerful I want to be a lady. I what to be the type of girl people want to protect. No one protects the giant.

How can I stop feeling envious towards petite women

wolfcat87 · Accepted Answer

Hmmm... this is an all in your mind issue. I'm larger than you. So is my daughter at 5'10" and 185 lbs. Yet, we've managed to get the best of both worlds. How you act changes the perception others have of you and how they treat you.

For example, one moment I can appear powerful, successful, sexy, tall, elegant, and like a super model or goddess.

The next I'm all super cute, cuddly, fluffy UwU. Even men who are much smaller at 5'5" or 5'6" we have dated will call us little and cute and try to take care of us and protect us. One calls me his cuddle, cute, fluffy, little bunny. The other called me his baby elephant (inside joke because I am food obsessed and he would joke that he'll go broke trying to feed me).

So, what makes the difference in how we are seen and treated? How we behave. Our bodies didn't change at all. We both act very delicate, sweet, shy, mild mannered, speak in cute little voices, make doe eyes at our men, etc. I tend to act very baby-ish sometimes as well. We let the man know we appreciate his protection and reward him for treating us delicately.

At the same time, we reserve the right to bounce back to boss b*tch mode and let them know that we can fight. One of the bonuses of being our size means no man picks us to use and abuse, so we tend to get much better men than shorter women. We are also in the top 2-10% of women height wise meaning that we are special just like you. Shorter women are often not seen as valuable people and are more often seen as generic or fetishized. That's not fun. On top of all that, we are more likely to succeed, be seen as successful, and be paid more. We can't lose!

So, embrace your height, and just act more feminine, delicate, and cute if it's so important.

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

Work on You with Perhaps Toning Up and just Being a Beautiful as You Know You can Be-----I am Sure Inside is Already There. No More Jealousy. You are just Feeling Insecure. Make a Goal for 2024. Your Weight is Great. xxoo

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

By knowing first and foremost that 90% of this is in your head. I'm am by no means saying your feelings aren't valid to you. I'm just telling you the vast majority of men do not care about a woman's height. These shorter women are probably more aggressive and social than you and that's why they win a lot.

I'm 6'5" so I get what it's like to be taller than your avg. Joe. And I can tell you I do not care about a woman's height. I've been attracted to women from 4'11 to 6'8". But I can tell you the shorter women the 5' to 5'5" make more of an effort to get to know me. It's less I choose her and more she chooses me.

ByronWolf · Accepted Answer

In agreement with most others. This ism lastly in your head. I have been with much taller and bigger (weight) than you. A lot of women would love to be your height one and two your weight. 130 is actually pretty small. I know you mentioned in a reply that you are black and your hair being in an Afro makes you feel even bigger. I for one love puffy/afro hair on black girls. Have confidence in yourself, I guarantee you are beautiful and sexy and there are most likely a lot of guys that are very attracted to you.

Berethor · Answer

Yea petite women are feminine and cute, but there is no much point in being envious as you can't change your height, if you don't like feeling powerful then you miss the advantages of being a tall AKA masculine woman, also the main advantage is that you more likely to give birth to a tall sons, you need to look for man taller than you, it would make you feel smaller, and then you can make a basketball team with him. :)

Blazingfang · Answer

I can assure you, i would 100% prefer to date you than a petit girl. Its a matter of taste from men. Yeah, most men tend to want shorter women because it makes them feel the "man" in the relationship.

I prefer to see it as "we are team mates" and who wouldn't want someone big on their team? 😅

Be yourself, be caring, show your personality, and if the guys you want are going for the petit girls, they are not man enough for you.

And you shouldn't want to be the type of person others want to protect. You should focus on finding someone you want to protect as much as they want to protect you.

Big girls are sexy, so be sexy in you're own way.

RebelinSteel · Answer

I know plenty girls that height and taller, it’s all about how you think. Your stats are pretty much what Abbey Clancy’s are, there is no way she is clunky etc. a lot is how we think of ourselves and also overall body toning. If you are not already take up some classes that help with toning, balance etc. jogging also helps with conditioning.

Anonymous · Answer

I know what you mean just from talking to taller girls. You don’t ever want to be the tallest woman in the room, especially if you’re 8-10 inches taller than someone standing right next to you. I can guarantee you don’t look awkward being 5’9”. Even women over 6 feet still don’t look awkward and clunky like you might feel. I am taller than most guys, not super tall, but I am attracted to women at least 5’7” or taller. What’s worse is there are quite a few guys who are very tall who will date someone very short when they’re taking away options for shorter men and taller women.

RealMarek · Answer

Men like you, so I suspect this is all in your head. Being tall has nothing to do with having a masculine appearance. At 130 lbs at your height you would absolutely seem delicate compared with, say, an average man of that height. What you need to work on is feeling sexy. Dress femininely (this does not require immodesty). Learn how to accentuate your curves with how you dress. Put a sway in your hip. Work with what you’ve got.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Don't be, I love tall girls.. My ex was about your height, and she still managed to be cute sometimes with her attitude.. You can still be adorable and a lady.. It's not like you are walking around with a massive manly body.. By virtue of being a pretty girl, you already gave the upper hand. You're just overthinking.

AmeerX · Answer

You just feel inferiority complex. Umm are you God worshipper? Don't you know you were made the way you are by God's Will. You are young and that's why you feel this way. You might be feeling like a giant but a Dwarf will protect his Giantess 😊, Don't need to feel like you are not beautiful.

😊It reminded me of the story of the a beautiful Giantess and her lover.

And your height isn't that tall 🤣 unless you live in East Asia

Jaylove13 · Answer

Listen my name is James your problem is you're not feeling sexy you're not feeling like you're really attracted to you all that you feel that they're just attracted to the slimmer women some men like a woman too on thick side not fat but thick I do and I know a lot of other guys you need fund someone a man that will make you feel sexy all the time that's all your problem is change the way you dress a little do what makes you feel sexy

Billlewis · Answer

Go back to your original sign on name, and then become more confident. I'd love to discuss this with you, if you'll message me.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Well you aren't abnormally tall so I don't think you should care too much about that, you are at a decent height

Anonymous · Answer

The pain is real. Nothing helpful to add, just commiseration from someone 5'10" whose male friends all have yellow-fever.

Staximus · Answer

130 is pretty skinny for a 5'9" woman, you're crazy

Anonymous · Answer

I've never noticed hight in women unless it's extremely..( either way,) Unfortunately we are our own worst critics... I bet you are quite normal.

Enginn · Answer

You are thinking too much. Be happy with yourself. Whatever happens happens. Don't waste your time on it.

slatyb · Answer

Remind yourself that they wish they were taller.

Tharithi · Answer

What do u mean u don’t like your hair?

Agape93 · Answer

I'm similar. I'm 5'9 and about 145lbs.

jimmy2 · Answer

It's ok don't worry

I’m jealous of petite small women. How can I stop feeling bad about being bigger?

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