What am I doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

Why is it okay for people in my circle to make mistakes and laugh them off and joke about it with eachother.
But if I make similar or even less serious mistakes and try to laugh them off I get berated and seriously shamed and made to look bad to others.
Then when i visibly hit a depressive episode over it, they tell me to just laugh at myself and move on….. and the cycle continues.
What am I doing wrong here?
Am I just stupid?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh hun, I'm so sorry you're dealing with that shit. It really sounds like a double standard and unfair treatment. A few thoughts:

- Some people get off on putting others down to feel better about themselves. Don't let their bullshit bring you down.

- It could be subconscious sexism/toxic masculinity at play too - holding you to higher standards. Fuck that noise.

- You're not stupid at all. Laughing mistakes off is healthy - don't let them steal your joy or confidence!

- The cycle continues because you give their words power by engaging emotionally. Easier said than done, I know.

- Distance yourself when they berate you. One word answers, don't JADE (justify/argue/defend/explain). Don't give them satisfaction.

- Surround yourself with people who lift you up and don't shame you for being human. You deserve supportive friends.

Keep shining bright sis, mistakes and all. Don't change who you are to please people determined to rain on your parade. You've got this!

[Anonymous]

That’s not right talk it over with the people that are calling you out

[Asker]

I have attempted that, it’s 1 or 2 outcomes. 1- I get told off about how it’s not okay for me to do things that they themselves do or 2- I get told I’m crazy.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s wrong. I don’t like what I’m hearing here. I suggest that you give them a final warning that you’re gonna leave the group if they continue on. If they do then leave, find new friends.

[Anonymous]

They aren't your real friends