Is it weird to apologize 15 years later?

[Anonymous]

There is a girl who I really screwed up with. I ended up hurting her but I didn't mean things the way they came off. I tried to apologize right after but she wasn't interested in listening to me. Now its been 15 years. I just talked to a former friend of hers, so I have been thinking about her a lot lately. I dont know if it will come off weird but I feel like if the truth could be spoken then she would forgive me. What do you think? How would you guys feel.

Never too late

Debatable

It would be weird.

[Anonymous]

I didn't wait 15 years, but for me it was 3 years to say my apology. Its easy to say from the outside looking in that, surely they've moved on or they would never be interested in hearing from you, but the only way you can know that is to try. The important thing to go in with the apology is to understand that they do not owe you anything up to and including forgiveness. You are apologizing for you, and that's something you need to do, so yes, do it for yourself, but without the expectations that you will be forgiven because hurt is hurt, and for some, there are no second chances or they may not want to hear it at all, but it still may be extremely helpful for your mind to know that you at least attempted to make things right by acknowledging how wrong you were.

[avery58]

She probably closed and healed that wound by now, it's been so long... So I say, go for it. If it will ease your conscious and help you move on once and for all from that part of your life. But it's probably best to go your own way again once you do.

[Skinhead-1979]

It's been too long ago I'd say; and I am wondering what you would like to achieve with it.

You've said that when you tried to apologise right after, she wasn't interested... so why would she be interested 15 years later? She may not remember, or doesn't want to remember.

I'd say it is best to just leave it and move on... For her, but moreover for your sake.

[JustinTheGreat]

Meh. I would let it go. At this point she might just feel that you’re apologizing to make yourself feel better, not necessarily for her

[Razp_Sorbet]

I don't think it's too late so long as you're genuinely just wanting to apologise because you think she deserves the apology not because it will make you feel better about what happened.

I had an ex reach out and apologise to me after like 8 years and while I appreciated the effort I could tell it was something that he did to make himself feel better about what went down. Didn't really give me any closure on the situation.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I'm pretty sure this would come off as being weird. They have most likely moved on by now and seeking them out after 15 years and dredging everything back up would be unwanted in my eyes.

[Asker]

Yea, thats how I feel 50%. The other half of me thinks that if I can make the situation better then why not? I don't know.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Are you making it better for you or them? If they've moved on and no longer think about it then it's just you that needs to learn how to let it go

[Asker]

So here's the thing. I did let go. She did let go, im guessing. Its for her. I didn't mean to have things happen the way they did. I ran into her friend which made me think of her. There is no reason to have this negative experience when it can be fixed. But I dont want to come across as someone who has been hung up on it for years.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

That's what it will come off as, unfortunately. You're saying it can be fixed, but it's seriously doubtful it will do anything, but make it look like you're obsessed with it.

[Asker]

Well, maybe. I've also heard stories about people coming together after 20 years. If she thinks its weird I will never talk to her again anyway. At least I said what I wanted to say and tried.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Your call. Good luck then

[PeachyPie93]

Nah sometimes it is good to hear after ages. My dad apologized to my mom after 13 years lol

[noohair]

It is not being forgiven that is important. It is the apology and only the apology.

[Dreamclouds]

No, its never too late or weird to apologize, it is just difficult for the ego

[melicermeno21]

i think its never too late to apologize because apologizing is a good action

[LiamJHayden]

Never too late while you both breathe.

[exitseven]

go for it.