Why is the body positivity movement almost exclusively lead by obese women and not both obese men and women?

[MikeyObrien]

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Given your age, you’re probably not old enough to remember just how many eating disorders there were in the Y2K era that was not only popularized by celebrities but encouraged by fashion magazines and entertainment sources. To this day, I remember an article praising the Olsen Twins on their weight loss by focusing on pictures of their backs in their backless dresses where they were so thin you could not only see their ribs, but their spines.


The body positivity movement was started by and focused on women because, at the time it began, only women’s bodies were receiving this much attention and criticism for what fat was present. This was not to exclude men from the conversation, but to address the main issue. Similar to how a dermatologist will focus on a cyst before they look at an acne outbreak. Both are problems, but one takes clear priority in the moment of that time period.

[MikeyObrien]

But why would they swing to the other extreme? Being underweight isn't good for your health and neither is being overweight.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Because the body positivity movement, originally, was about learning to love your body, that being fat had its own benefits instead of anorexia and bulimia ruining your bone density when you still had a developing body. The message is not “make yourself fat and you’ll be beautiful” the message is “you are beautiful no matter what you look like.” No one’s saying you can’t have preferences in regards to the physical appearance of your partner, but you’re also assuming that a person’s body is their choice and in a good amount of cases weight can can be due to type 1 diabetes (meaning they’re born with it), PCOS, tumors, various hormone imbalances, and mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety that can cause habits like binge-eating. And also? Let’s be real, the food standards for anything mass-produced in the United States is a joke, cheap products make cheap outcomes and unhealthy consumers

[MikeyObrien]

Saying you're beautiful no matter what you are is extremely toxic. Just because they don't promote becoming obese doesn't mean it's healthy. Just like I would never tell a smoker that they're beautiful I would never tell an obese person that. They are both literally killing themselves.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You can just keep your mouth shut. No one’s forcing you to say anything to anyone. Just don’t be an ass just because the girl standing next to you isn’t skinny. It’s not hard to just leave people alone.

[MikeyObrien]

I'm not gonna go out of my way to tell them that would be hurrassment and bullying, but if they ask me, I'm not going to lie to them because then I'm enabling destructive behavior.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

And I hope you know you have as much control over their bodies as you do over the weather and let that tell you how much it should bother you.

[MikeyObrien]

That's fair. I'd want a partner that has control over her own body. There are plenty of things that each other do for the others happiness. For example we'd never cheat on each other, that would be us showing self control out of respect for the other person.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

The fact that you specifically framed this conversation about a hypothetical partner you don’t have says a lot already

[MikeyObrien]

Read the bottom note. This very situation happened to me before.

[MikeyObrien]

And even if I didn't. Let's say I've never ever been in a relationship. What have I said so far that's incorrect?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It’s not “self control” it’s all your control. You only control your self, and as much as I’m sure your ex was a shitty person to make the choice to cheat on you, it still says a lot that the reason you even started with this question at all is because you’re single and don’t want to date a fat woman

[MikeyObrien]

I've never been cheated on, you misread my response. I said that I would never cheat on my partner even if I wanted to because it would be disrespectful to her and that's a form of self control that I levied in the interest of my significant other. A relationship is a give and take you comfortable get to just do whatever you want, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the person you care for. If your partner does whatever they want and doesn't care about your opinion that's emotional abuse.

[MikeyObrien]

So I'll ask you again. What's something I've said that's incorrect?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

A lot of what you’ve said is misogynist, whether you think that’s “incorrect” or not is up to you at this point. I’m tired of talking to you.

[MikeyObrien]

I don't think you know what misogyny is but okay. Have a nice cope.

[Billlewis]

That's probably the easiest question of the day -- because many guys, myself included, find fat women sexy, while only a few women believe the opposite about fat guys, as far as I know.

[handsomelad70]

Exactrly WHAT'S sexy about chubbettes, Billlewis?

[LiamJHayden]

Who knows? To me the movement should be about people with birth defects or injuries or diseases that required amputations, not about people with a lack of self-control.

[MikeyObrien]

I agree

[normalice]

People generally aren't as excited about good looking men.