Have you ever regretted losing a woman who was willing to give it her all, finally removing herself from your life?

[happyfoetus]

[LoveHotGrillz]

Yes...

Breanna. She was always so unbelievably sweet to me always. Always agreed with me on everything, did things my way, went out of her way to do nice things for me all the time.

Even in the final months, when I was starting to be rude and disrespectful towards her. She was willing to compromise on anything, do anything, she really didn't want to let me go and kept on being relentlessly sweet to me despite me being mean to her at that point.

Reason i was starting to be mean to her was because I was trying to pull away and get away from her and i was getting frustrated with how she just kept on being sweet and trying to not let me go.

Till the very end she NEVER stopped being sweet and loving towards me. Believe me I tried very hard to get her to hate me so that it would be easier for me to leave her, but she never ever stopped being sweet to me.

I was 21 so I was too young to know how unbelievably lucky I was to have a girl love me that much. I won the lottery by somehow managing to get a girl like that, and I threw it all away. I can't believe I threw it all away like that. Yes, I do hate myself, I really do... Thanks for bringing up that painful memory for me =/

[happyfoetus]

How is she now?

[LoveHotGrillz]

I have no idea. I haven't talked to her ever since. I hope her life is perfect. I hope she is happy, has lots of money, I hope she has everything she wants.

I'm currently single and I would do anything to go back in time and hold on to her for as long as possible. Oh well. I deserve to die alone.

[DishLady]

@LoveHotGrillz sounds like you didn’t right thing to let her go since you weren’t ready for her. You’ll find something good when you’re ready.

It’s a good chance for her to also grow up and see how other guys are. Girls do have to grow up a little and learn it’s not ok to be 100% sweet. (It takes some of us longer than others to figure it out.)

[DishLady]

(Also, I don’t think the question was specifically geared to dredge up your painful memory…)

[LoveHotGrillz]

@DishLady Yeah, i don't know if it was the right move to let her go, especially the way I did it.

After months of slowly backing off from her and being very mean to her, I decided to just cut off all communications with her. I had blocked her phone number but she would try calling me through other phones over the next several days which I also immediately blocked. Only then did she realize it was actually over and finally gave up.

She didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated her. I could have broken things off without being mean to her. One of my biggest regrets in life.

[DishLady]

Sharing this extra, it was healthy for her also -- you did both of yourselves a favor.

I'll explain... Some women have "martyr syndrome" and no matter what people do to them they chase and chase the person being mean to them... they try and try to keep contact... even to an obsessive extent, which is what you're basically describing her actions to be (even though rn you're remembering them fondly).

You weren't prepared for someone that intense... and that's ok too. You shouldn't beat yourself up over it anymore... It's done. You have to free yourself to allow a new (better) person to come into your life.

Yes, you possibly could have eased back without being mean, however considering that you were still very young... give yourself some grace for the past and remember what you've learned to do better in the future. <3

[LoveHotGrillz]

@DishLady Wow thank you so much for that. You've blown my mind with some amazing realizations

I do look back more fondly at those days because now I'm single and have been so lonely and sad because of it. I remember things much nicer than they were because back then I wasn't lonely at all, in fact I had the opposite problem. I felt like I was being suffocated by her because she would always be trying to be with me or calling me or texting me. Felt like my freedom was severely limited by her

Question about martyr syndrome, do you need to be mean to the woman for her to have it? I was always very nice to her as she was to me, until the end when I was trying to get away from her.

Also is it really that bad to date someone like that? Now that I'm older, having a girl who is 100% loyal no matter what sounds really nice actually lol

[DishLady]

No, there's never a good reason to be mean to another person. But when it's time to cut things, make a clean break, don't linger. Obsessive personalities need to be completely cut off.

[DishLady]

I would argue that a person can be loyal without being obsessive.

So for example, when I fall for a guy, I LOOOOVE to hear from him of course, but we're both adults and working and so on, so we're not texting and chatting all day, you know? It's important to have someone who will pay attention but will also respect your space.

[Caroline91]

It has to be the right person and the right time. You were too young and not ready. She was a gift, learn from it and be ready the next time.

[happyfoetus]

@Caroline91 That was the most romanticised version of 'You fucked up'

[LoveHotGrillz]

@Caroline91 She was a once in a lifetime gift, and I wasted that gift.

There isn't going to be a next time. Appreciate the kind words but I really don't like false hope. I've accepted it, so it's ok. Don't worry about me

[Caroline91]

@LoveHotGrillz Not worried about you, just speaking from experience.

[LoveHotGrillz]

@Caroline91 Experience? I'd love to hear your story if you don't mind. So far I'm the only one in this thread whose shared their story.

How/why did you lose your perfect girl? Do you also regret it a lot? Or does time eventually heal the wound?

[LoveHotGrillz]

Hey, just wondering what made you post this question. Do you also have any stories to share on this? If so, I'd like to hear your story. I already shared mine :)

[Caroline91]

@LoveHotGrillz I didn't give my story bc the question was asking about regret at losing a woman. I was just responding to you bc in my experience, a loss like that can become a lesson for a possible future relationship. I broke up with a fiancé because I was so angry about something that I couldn't express myself and then I did something really stupid and didn't want to tell him the truth. And my mother was involved in promoting the whole thing bc she thought I was too young to get married. So, it was very messy, took time for me to figure out what really happened, led to a permanent estrangement with my mother and also led to the very happy marriage I am in now bc I learned 2 very important lessons: 1) Nothing is so bad you can't talk it out if you truly love each other and 2) don't let other people influence your relationship. I learned all of that before I married my husband at just 22. Ten years and 2 kids and it is still going strong. Take every experience in life and build on it for a better life. What you learned with her could take you to an even better relationship bc you know how to recognize a good thing and how not to throw it away now. I wish you hope, love and joy!

[Caroline91]

@happyfoetus He believes he did... maybe he did. I can't judge anyone but myself.

[LoveHotGrillz]

@Caroline91 Thank you, I'm glad you found love and sounds like you have a wonderful family. Congrats!

However, I will say that there is just something unique about the type of person that the original poster and I are referring to. A partner with undying, unwavering loyalty.

Most relationships are about compromise between the couple, but the types of relationships we are talking about here are a complete and total devotion to one side. Zero compromise. A willingness to love the other and give her all for the others sake.

This type of girl is very rare, especially in my case where she took it to obsessive levels of love and devotion. So like the other guys have said in their replies on this topic: This type of woman is meant to be treasured and held onto. I'm the idiot who didn't treasure that and threw it all away forever. I'm just never getting this type of girl again because they are simply too rare.

Thats why it's meaningless to learn from this and be prepared for the next one. There will never be a next one. Not like her.

[Caroline91]

@LoveHotGrillz I understand what you are saying. I also know, I got a second chance and took it. I know exactly the kind of love you are talking about. I have it and I was ready for it when it came to me unexpectedly. That's all I'm saying... Sometimes there really are second chances, if you are open to it and recognize it when it arrives.

[VIVANT]

@DishLady

He doesn’t know if she would’ve chased him “obsessively” bc he was never honest with her. It’s peculiar to paint what he did as being good for her.

I agree he should now let go and stop beating himself up the person is to not repay that not to see how it was some kind of twisted gift? He didn’t do the right thing and he understands that. No one is saying stay with someone you didn’t want. But just tell them you are moving on. Give them the opportunity to react gracefully and move on with their lives instead of wasting their time and probably traumatizing them, bc now they didn’t know if they can trust anyone to be honest and the next time someone is angry is it they are angry or are they being mean bc they want out..

“Good for everyone “ is to be upfront. Be respectful. Be clear. And Jean what you say. Let your actions reflect that.

[MrOracle]

The problem is that women only tend to be devoted to a partner like that if the man is a top 5% man - and one of the things that get those particular men into the top 5% is having narcissistic tendencies - meaning you only care about yourself.
.
Women have a crazy desire to be with such men, because it fulfills the Instagram fantasy, but such men are terrible relationship partners and usually aren't interested in being in a relationship at all. And women tell themselves that they can change his mind if they are super devoted to him - but that has never ever worked.

You cannot change a man - on his dying day, that man is going to be essentially the same man as the day you met him, so you had better pick men who are ALREADY the kind of man you want in terms of morals, values, and life goals (NOT necessarily on looks or money or status), because whoever he is the day you meet him is who he will be the day the relationship ends.

[Anushakuikel]

Speaking for my boyfriend, I've given my all to him. Cared for him when he's sick, cooked, cleaned, never looked at anyone else.. but he cannot even appreciate anything, or even give me the bare minimum and constantly is seeking for emotional fulfillment from other women... so now I'm choosing to walk away from him. Not sure if he will ever think that he lost a good woman.. or a woman who at least put him above everything and everyone else.

[PeachyPie93]

I honestly don't believe guys do regret these things. Someone that would treat you like shit when you only loved them probably looks back on it like "It was her fault, she was too clingy, she deserved that" I don't think a guy who threw you away would regret it at all.

[Anushakuikel]

I second this. We broke up ( he initiated it) but he came back again telling me that he wants to give us a chance again if " I am willing to change my clingy, toxic self " I wanted to laugh at his face for the audacity.. lol

[Finchie40]

No , because if she was willing to give it all , she wouldn’t be my ex period , She is only an ex because she only cared about what is best for herself and treated me like garbage ,, bringing constant misery into my life instead of happiness. So losing her was the best thing to could happen

[DishLady]

Not quite. Some people give their all to someone who is abusive — someone who doesn’t reciprocate and also treats the one giving their all down continually. There’s no reason for a healthy, normal person to stay in such a situation. Someone capable of offering genuine love deserves better than someone who will put them down and treat them poorly.

[Finchie40]

True, but no one should give their all to someone that js abusive to them to begin with , if someone is abusive to you , you are best to walk to other way

[kellytheman]

I did have a girlfriend I thought I would married but she left and went to Paris for a dream job. I really wanted her to stay but I would feel guilty and she might regret staying with me if she didn’t take the job she worked so hard for.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Never happened to me. I ended most of my relationships. The ones who ended it were woman who did not seem like that was something they ever wanted.

[Sharkstealth]

I've never known a woman for that long. When I was younger girls tried to talk me in to staying in one place but I didn't. When I settled down no girl ever even let me get to know them.

[Anonymous]

Oh my gosh….. No. a woman like that would have my full heart. She would be my whole world. My everything. But those type of women deserve a man who genuinely loves them not uses them.

[Unit1]

I'm not an idiot to do things in order to lose a good woman.

[ManInChains]

I don’t think a single woman has ever given her all with me.

[Pyrofox]

Regretted it no, live in the moment. Dwelling on things just holds a person back.

[ohsheeT]

I have to say yes on that one don't know what you got until it's gone I guess

[bobby_bush_eater]

Nope. The women that I had chosen in the past (admittedly poor choices blinded by beauty) are largely in the opposite situation.

[Ladsin2]

There aren't many women who are willing to "give their all". At least I've never found one. They may say that, but their actions often won't be indicative of that.

[DtMe89]

Proving that girls and guys really can't be "just friends", unfortunately. Otherwise, why did you leave, right?

[Yannae]

Never have. But then again, I haven't met a woman like that until last year.

[Hanrej]

If she removed herself, how was she willing to give it all?

[DishLady]

A healthy normal person removes themselves from a one-sided situation.

[Hanrej]

@DishLady that's my point. A healthy normal person wouldn't give it their all, certainly not without reciprocration.

[DishLady]

Ah! I got you.

I just got out of a super toxic sitch. after giving my all… and really trying… but when the other person is a cold fish or an emotional vampire it doesn’t matter how giving or open I am.

[Radiate143]

No, once the realised there was no reciprocation they leave. How would they know to leave if they didn’t attempt to nirture the relationship.

[jasco]

I have but I got over it

[Crazzyyworld]

Men like crazy women.

[Fuentes]

I would never do that to someone

[ProbablyClueless]

Nope.

[MasterKS]

Never happened it!