Girl I met at the gym is mad and said I disrespected her after hanging out and I apologize twice now haven’t talked in over a month?

[AeriusMalex]

We used to go to the gym at the same time, but recently she has been avoiding my schedule. We haven't spoken in over a month since the incident after the concert when I disrespected her. I apologized twice, with the second apology, given two weeks later, being particularly sincere. During that apology, she avoided eye contact and didn’t understand when I apologized in her language. She asked me to message her what i was trying to say, as she needed to go to lunch with friends, and told me not to feel bad as she walked away. I did not follow up, and I haven’t messaged her in over a month.

The next day, she worked out near me but did not acknowledge me and left quickly. So, i took it that she is still mad and let her be. Previously, we used to greet each other politely when walking pass each other, but that changed to just waving, and now even waving has stopped. When I tried to say goodbye after a few days ago as i had to walk pass her to leave and we haven't said bye to each other in a month, she did not respond initially, but eventually waved back after having to wave a third time. I interpreted this as she did not want to even say bye, so I began ignoring her at the gym. Now, she appears to be coming at the same time as I do, but we do not communicate.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude that's rough. Sounds like she took whatever happened pretty seriously. I know you apologized twice already which shows you meant it, but maybe she's still hurt or something. If she's still coming to the gym at the same time after avoiding your schedule though, that's gotta mean on some level she doesn't wanna completely cut you off either, you know?

I'd maybe give her some more space for now since the last apology didn't seem to land how you wanted. But at the same time don't totally ignore her either when you do see her - just say hey or wave like normal if you make eye contact. Show her you're still friendly even if not close like before.

Then after another couple weeks if she's still coming around, you could try speaking to her one more time. Keep it light, don't bring up the past, just ask how she's been or comment on her workout. Make it clear you wanna be cool without pressuring her. Hopefully over time she'll come around if she sees you're being respectful of her space too. But don't stress too much - ball's in her court now.

[AeriusMalex]

The thing is she never explained to me what was disrespectful but that i was just being disrespectful. What i remember saying was “I dont care about any of the guys your hanging out with no one them can compare to someone like me” I was trying to sound confident and i guess i just sounded stupid. I interpreted what i said as she assumed that i think she's hanging out with a bunch a guy, which is bad but i wasn't even thinking that just trying to sound confident. I wish i could fix this.

[AeriusMalex]

I was told not to say hi and wait to see if she does. As when i did wave the day she didn’t want to even say bye she had not so good facial expression lol even though she still acknowledged me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, now I see why she took what you said the wrong way and got so mad. Saying "none of those guys compare to me" does sound pretty disrespectful and conceited, even if you were just trying to sound confident. I can understand why she'd think you were putting down the guys she hangs out with. You definitely screwed up there. No wonder the apologies didn't work if she thinks you think you're better than her friends. I'd be pissed too in her shoes. You're right that you wish you could fix it, but honestly, I wouldn't try contacting her again for a long time. Just give her space and let her cool off. Maybe someday if you see her and get the chance, you can sincerely explain you weren't thinking straight and didn't mean to disrespect her or her friends. But trying now would probably just make her more mad. Live and learn, bro. Just be more mindful what you say next time so you don't insult someone without meaning to. Good luck sorting it out eventually, but leave her alone for now before you dig the hole deeper.

[AeriusMalex]

I understand thank you for the advice. My second apology i told her everytime i saw her i felt sad i made her feel this way. Told her i made a mistake i shouldn't have said what i said and that im not better than anyone. Told her I didn’t know why i said that i guess i was trying to sound confident but i just sounded really stupid. And hope she can forgive me and then in her own language i tried to ask “forgive me”and “ im sorry” in the most respectful way.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn dude, sounds like you really poured your heart out with that second apology. Props to you for being that real with her and admitting you messed up. It takes balls to own your mistake like that.

Even if she didn't fully accept it right away, I'm sure she could tell how sincere you were. Not many guys would go to that much effort to make amends. You pretty much said all you can say at this point.

I know it still stings that she's keeping her distance. But like I said before, give it more time. She heard you apologize in her own language too - that's going the extra mile. Over time, hopefully those memories of you groveling will soften her up lol.

Just hang in there and don't lose hope. No contact is always the best path forward from here. Let your actions from now on do the talking by leaving her alone. Who knows, maybe someday out of the blue she'll come around. Even if not, you'll gain some valuable experience from this mess. Chin up, bro - you'll get through it!

[In_Trance]

Who gives a shit; do your workout and get out of there

[Anonymous]

U disrespect her , u loose her. people can forgive and forget u , not forget what u did

[AeriusMalex]

It wasn’t intentional. I know it doesn’t matter but i think its because of the culture differences she perceived some of the stuff i said differently then Intended it to be. I sounded stupid nonetheless. What i remember saying was “I dont care about any of the guys your hanging out with no one them can compare to someone like me”

[Nikki1989]

Is there any question here?

[Smashingdoozy]

Sounds like you fumbled

[Anonymous]

What is the question?