Girl is mad at me, I apologize and says she doesn't care?

[Anonymous]

A little background. Me and this girl are acquaintances but we know each other really well, we spend a lot of time talking and joking but while we can have a great time together, we also argue a lot, mostly because our comments sometimes get taken the wrong way. This happens a lot, we will make up for a week or two and then some other silly situation will arise where either her or me will get mad and stop talking.

I am kinda used to this, I do not like it because when we get along is great, but it does happen. I promise it will never happen again but sometimes she gets this bitchy attitude and is hard for me not to respond or get irritated. She is mad at me now and I have apologized yet again, but she told me she didn't care about it and doesn't want to hear it and I can act however I want. The thing is that "she doesn't care" but if I say or do the same thing I promise I wouldn't do, she starts getting on my case and telling me "wow, way not to do it again and changing your behavior". My question is, does she care or not? Because if she doesn't care, why does she bother bringing it up? It happens a lot, she claims she doesn't care but she is always bitching at me, what is her deal?

[curiousgrl88954]

Usually when girls say they don't care...they do. Lmfaoo, she might care about you a lot and so to cover it up she tells you she doesn't care. Maybe you should just talk to her about it and tell her that you don't like it when she flips out on you, seemingly out of no where and that if she has something to say she should feel free to come out and say it (but in a nice way..). That should help you out.. But idk, it doesn't sound like you guys have a healthy relationship as it is.. =/

[Asker]

I know. SOmetimes we will be doing fine, she will say a comment that kind of irritates me. I hold it down and not say anything and just keep to myself for a while, you know? but then she will go up to me and try to talk but I'm not in the mood so my answers are short and I'm not in a "happy" mood, so she gets pissed at me because I promised I wouldn't get mad again. One time she got mad because she said hi to me, I was a bit busy and wasn't enthusiastic in my greeting, that's a bit much

[curiousgrl88954]

I mean, it says that you're 25-29... I would think that you would know by now that you need to communicate with girls. When she does something you don't like, TELL HER! Don't be rude about it, just be like, "You know, I don't really like when you do this...*insert what ever it is she did*"

[Asker]

Thats exactly what she told me, wow this is eerie lol. I don't know what kind of relationship we have but we do not act this way to anybody else, its like an "exclusive" thing and people are always telling us we act like a married couple or that we will end up together. This is how we talk, we argue and poke fun at each other but the problem with that its that misunderstanding can happen. Do you think she'll forgive me if I get my act together or is it too late?

[curiousgrl88954]

I think you should stop apologizing to her and just start trying to improve how you treat her. Maybe you're treating more like she's one of the guys, when really she wants you to treat her like a girl, you know? It's good that the two of you can joke around with each other. But if you want to keep this relationship more on the good side, you should watch what you say to her. Even if she doesn't tell you it bothers her, her body language will change.

[curiousgrl88954]

To answer your question, it takes a lot to get a girl to swear you off for good.. So, yes. I think there's still a chance for you. But you guys definitely need to start communicating with each other better..

[Asker]

I know, even when she is mad at me she will still throw those "teasing" comments she knows get a response from me, so its not like she is completely pissed off at me. I just wish I knew if she even saw me as a friend because she just acts so differently towards me and I like it, but I don't know if she acts like that because she knows I like it or because she dislikes me but the fact that she pays so much attention to everything I do or say makes me thinks she cares a little bit

[curiousgrl88954]

Why don't you just ask her?

[CatholicVirginia]

You really pissed her off and upset her. You need to EARN her forgiveness this time. An apology is not enough. You need to show that you have learned from the situation.

[Asker]

How can I do it? I try but she just keeps giving me the cold shoulder and attitude and that irritates me. SOmetimes I go to say hello and she responds all annoyed and tells me she hates when I try to act all "casual" after I make her mad.

[CatholicVirginia]

You said when you commit the same offense, she yells at you. Why are you committing the same offense? She also wants to see you squirm. Give her her space, but do keep trying to talk to her, maybe once every three days try to get her attention.

[noepad]

ask her what you have to do to make it up

[CatholicVirginia]

Don't ask her. I mean, you can, but if she's like me, she wants to see that YOU know what you did wrong and you can learn from it. With me, asking me what you did wrong (especially if you have done it before or if I have already told you when we argued) is the kiss of death.

[Asker]

Wow, you sound just like her. I want to give her space but in the back of my mind I know how well we get along and I want to get there as soon as possible, which is a big mistake. Yes, asking her just irritates her further. Any suggestions on how to give her space without seeming too distant? I have tried but she tells me it doesn't mean not to talk to her or avoid her, so I'm out of ideas. I told her that being apart is the best way (we cross paths almost everyday so I tend to avoid her)

[CatholicVirginia]

It means what I told you. Don't bother her too much, but do make an obvious effort to talk to her. And if after, say, two weeks she's still giving you the cold shoulder, put your heart on the line (I know you love her as a friend). Tell her exactly how you feel and tell her that if she is going to keep treating you like this and not talk it out, then you're done. But make sure you know what you did wrong, because she'll be looking for that.

[Asker]

Lets say you are in this situation, when he does try to talk to you, what would you like him to say? Apologizing only pisses her off, so does acting casual like nothing happened. ANy advice?

[CatholicVirginia]

Yeah, just ask how she's doing and try to make conversation. She'll notice you're uncomfortable and lap it up. Don't force the conversation for TOO long, though, or it'll annoy her.

[Asker]

that sounds about right when I try and force a joke here and ther

[CatholicVirginia]

The best part of all of this is that that girl, if she's like myself, really thinks that all of this is obvious to you and that she's easy to deal with. Hahahaha.

[Asker]

Well, by the way you answer I can tell you are very similar, that's why I'm asking for your advice haha. SO next time I see her I should just say hi and then leave her alone? She likes to kinda start teasing me and calling me names even when she is "mad" and there's people around, should I tease her back or just smile and keep on going about my business? Yes, she tells me that what she asks is very simple, but there's a lot of subtleties to that...

[CatholicVirginia]

Tease her back in a playful, flirtatious way. DO NOT GET CARRIED AWAY. If you insult her, it's going to go real wrong real fast. The teasing will help her forgive you a lot faster.

[Anonymous]

if she didn't care she wouldn't be mad at you right? if I didn't care about what a girl thinks of me why would I be angry at her for stuff >_>

[noepad]

I would say she cares just from experience

[Asker]

Care to elaborate a bit? I mean, I don't know, if I didn't care for a girl or things she does, I would just let it go but she remembers EVERY LITTLE THING I DO OR SAY, her memory is quite outstanding for not caring.

[curiousgrl88954]

Girls are just like that. They get really pissed off when you do something they don't like... Especially, if you already know she doesn't care for it. Girls are great at holding grudges too...