Girl is mad at me because she thinks I ignored her on purpose, need advice.

[Anonymous]

This girl (im not sure of our relationship, acquaintance, friend, would be gf) is mad at me because, in her mind, I was ignoring her and giving her "attitude". Truth to be told, she was a bit mad at me and I was trying to keep my distance. I wasn't mad, I was a bit sad and when I "ignored" her, it was because I didn't know how to respond. She said hi to me and I said hi, I guess I wasn't very effusive with it and she took it as if I didn't want to talk to her.

I do get quiet when I'm mad but I wasn't this time, but she doesn't believe me. We are still talking but is mostly just to argue about the situation. Why did she get like this? People tell me is because her feelings got hurt because she likes me and doesn't want me to ignore her. Is this true? What can I do to make her feel better? I don't like it when we get like this because we are so awesome together, chemistry and all. Please advice.

[Anonymous]

You're the other half of my last question... Welcome! ( link )

At some level, you *were* sort of letting her hang. If you were really into her, you'd check in regularly and be really attentive. Women are very sensitive to timing -- every aspect of our physiology revolves around a fixed timetable -- and it's something guys seem to be a little clueless about, merely because they don't have monthly cycles, "biological clocks," etc.

She feels neglected. If you care about a girl, you at least send her a smiley text or something these days. It'll make her smile. She should reciprocate, of course, and not just expect you to do all the texting/calling/etc., but you should be sensitive to timing if you feel anything substantial for the girl.

[icecreamlover]

best answer!

[Opinion Owner]

Lol. Thanks, ICL. :-)

[Anonymous]

she's unsure of how you feel about her so that's why you keep argueing about it. reassure her of your interest in her (through actions, not by saying "i like you").

text her goodmorning & wish her a good day. if you usually text at a normal pace (like once a day, once every other day, etc) text her when she's least expecting it and say you were thinking of her & ask how she is.

just show attention & interest. also, y'all may keep arguing because you haven't resolved the issue that caused her to be mad in the first place. tell her you dislike the arguing because you hate that she's upset & you want to know what you can do to make things right. It'll show that you're trying & that you care about her feelings.

[Anonymous]

I think she is insecure about your feelings toward her. Even if you say you're fine, if your actions don't match, it will feed her insecurity. I think women are used to men not saying how they really feel, which leaves a lot of room for them to create drama in their head to fill in the blanks. It also doesn't help that the relationship is so ambiguous, because that also feeds into the insecurity, and the drama.

Have you told her that you just want to go back to your awesome relationship? This particular situation may never be resolved to both of your satisfaction, but agreeing about what you do want could help you both move on.

[Anonymous]

I'm with Kermit here. Be very careful with that kind of girl. Best is to keep your poise and not get pissed or sad. Just tell her you have no interest on arguing about this kind of thing and instead that you want to have a good time. She might be addicted to attention and drama. So watch out...

[KERMlT]

Hmm, she managed to put you on the defensive even before you two are official. Not a good sign. I have a hunch that this is what she would do on a regular basis but it may be too early to tell. Could you see yourself dealing with this issue for the rest of your life?

[courtney06]

Yea it's normal. I'm annoyed with a guy who doesn't even like me and he's not even my type.

She's like that because she likes you. If she didn't give a rat's behind about you, she wouldn't put so much effort into arguing and giving you a hard time.

[Asker]

Its just so exhausting. I mean, I can say "im sorry" but she wants like a WHOLE explanation about what did I do that was wrong. We argue so much that sometimes I even forget what it was about but she wants a very specific answer and when I don't know what it is she just gets enraged further and tells me to go away

You say you are annoyed, but is it THIS bad? I mean, do you analize every little things he says and then throw it back at him? This girl doesn't forget ANYTHING ughhh lol

[courtney06]

Well my situation is different. I took the time out to buy a gift for him when I went to a camp music festival. I came back to my campsite and the gift was there. That was his way of telling me to F off. He won't answer my texts or even acknowledged my apology for being annoying when under the influence.

A sincere apology is when you own up to what you did and make the effort to understand why what you did may have come off as offensive. Anyone can say "I'm sorry" but it doesn't always cut it.

[Asker]

I know. It was just so stupid. SHe has a problem with me "getting distant" when I get annoyed at her. We were doing great for a while but one day she said something that annoyed me. I didn't act distant, I was just quiet but I wasn't ingoring her but she knows me so well that she picked up on it. I tried to explain that I just wanted to become "disannoyed" but that wasn't good enough for her and she got mad. I have been trying to talk but she just argues with me.

[courtney06]

Sounds like you two are compatible

[Asker]

LOL, cmon. I have to say that when we get along, its like the greatest thing ever, we cannot stop smiling at each other and talking BUT we are also very stubborn and have a short fuse and little, stupid comments can get taken the wrong way and start a fight. What can I do to stop the arguing? just ignore the things she does to annoy me or what?

[courtney06]

When you talk about what is bothering you, try not to sound accusatory. Like don't say "but you keep saying" or "you're always ___". You can try saying things like, "please don't say ___ because it makes me feel like ___. or "it hurts when you say ___". You can also agree to disagree.

[lightbulb27]

it demonstrates poor communication between these two, expectations and how much work it will take to have a good safe relationship, of any kind. she puts her needs before yours and doesn't understand your behavior. you don't get hers.

the love and respect is out of kilter.

good luck, you may want to buy some asperin...

[Pistolshrimp]

sounds controlling and manipulative to me. give in and you will be in a position where she feels she can be on the offensive for every little thing you do. do you want a spouse or do you want a overseer.

[WhitneySnow]

So why was she mad at you in the first place?

Anyway I think you guys like each other. You should talk to each other, explain your feelings.

[YesterdaysChild]

Maybe it was that time of the month for her. We tend to get a bit moody sometimes. I wouldn't break up over it. But you should sit down and talk about it and validate each other's feelings about it.

[BoopBoopBeep]

You're 20 years beyond needing to put up with that drama.

[Anonymous]

communication aka being blunt! talk to her, confront the situation like a mature adult and put an end to the dilemma/misunderstanding. be real about it!

[marshmallowbuny]

Lots of red flags here. Honestly I think you should tell her what emotions were running through your mind during that time. If she refuses to validate your feelings and only cares about attention to her, then she’s not good for you.

[Anonymous]

just send her a red heart and wait, you will thank me later

[jshm2]

She is more drama than she's worth, matey.

[Reem12345reem]

buy her something as an apology

[InvisibleKid]

like..who cares?