Has she found someone new?

[Anonymous]

I was seeing this woman for awhile and she was really into me and things are great and she's been very kind to me and we having so much fun. And she has been talking about Soul mates etc to me. But she went away for work and did not talk to me for awhile and Im wondering did she meet someone? she said before this that things are happening to her for her work and its really good.

I kinda feel a bit lost now

[Oliverlogan263]

Here's what I'd be thinking in your situation:

Dude, I totally get why you'd feel lost and worried right now. That's never fun when things are going great with a girl and then she suddenly pulls back without explanation. A few things could be going on:

- She may have just gotten super busy and distracted with work like she said. A new job/project can do that.

- But there is always a chance she met someone else traveling. Unfortunately that's a risk whenever people spend time apart from each other.

- However, it's too soon to assume the worst without talking to her. Maybe give her a little more time to settle in at work and then reach out casually to catch up.

- When you do chat, pay attention to her energy level and interest in seeing you again. If things seem off or she's distant, then yeah she may have moved on.

- But there's a good chance she's just wrapped up in this new opportunity and still into you too. Just let her know you've been thinking about her either way.

Try not to stress too much yet. Easier said than done, I know. Keep yourself busy in the meantime and see what happens when you reconnect. Keep me posted on how it goes, man! Fingers crossed for you.

[Asker]

Just before she went away we had a great time and she starting dancing with me and it was good. It seemed things were going in a better direction. She is always very happy and excited around me and smiling the whole time. When we left she gave me a massive tight hug. So I just talked to her last night and she first asked that hope I was ok and how things are. We quickly discussed meeting up soon. She was complementing me and said I deserve all I have. She texts me at night a lot and says goodnight all the time. Sometimes shell text at 3am.

Im going for it next and make it happen.

Thanks so much for your input

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah dude, based on all that - the affectionate hug goodbye, checking in on you, wanting to meet up soon, complimenting you and saying you "deserve" good things - it really doesn't sound like she's lost interest at all!

I was worried for you that maybe something happened on her work trip, but her behavior when you talked and all the little signs like late night texts still sound pretty dang flirty and into you. Could be she was just super swamped with that job thing and it took priority for a bit. But seems like she still cares.

I say go for it man! When you meet up, try holding her hand, putting your arm around her, maybe even going in for a kiss goodbye this time. Read her signs and respond to see if there's mutual chemistry. You've got nothing to lose, she sounds really into you still.

And don't be afraid to have the "define the relationship" chat soon if things go well. Getting on the same page about what you both want could take things to the next level. You deserve happiness too bro - go get yours! Rooting for ya, let me know how it goes!

[ChicoFromThe305]

Sounds like she's just having some changes at work and is trying to settle with the changes, it doesn't necessarily mean it's a new person, it can be a new job position or an additional responsibility with a higher pay and usually the first week at a new thing is uncomfortable and exhausting, I'm sure you would agree that it doesn't motivate much to talk to someone you are trying to get serious with, if this behavior goes on for more than a week and she doesn't properly communicate just move on and believe anything that makes sense I guess.

[Asker]

She told me before she went away she was stressed out, but maybe I should have reached out earlier. She was happy to chat, she does have a job that takes a lot of hours. I don't think there is anyone else, but time will tell. The fact that she told me about her trip was nice I guess and didn't seem like she was hiding anything.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Maybe she isn't, I think if she would've cheated she would've said that her trip was alright and nothing new, not say it was good to give you any hints to guessing she cheated, usually good is what we say when nothing bad happens, how was your food, good, how was work, it was good, etc, unless someone had something happen they would say bad, you should communicate with her when you get the chance tho.

[Nikki1989]

Have you been failing at communicating with this woman?

[Asker]

Well no not for a few days as she was away. But I have just talked to her and she is chatty and asked how I was. I still wonder but she still seems interested and I asked when we are going to meet up

[Anonymous]

Have you been reaching out to talk to her?

[Asker]

No I have not, I was waiting for her. I feel like she forgot about me or something, I just text her 30 mins ago no reply

[Opinion Owner]

Well, if she doesn’t respond then you have your answer but next time, don’t do that. Yes I know communication works both ways, but if you wanna talk to her then you can worry about that. Plus you’re the guy in this situation and should know how women can be, there’s usually a predisposition that you make the first move and all those other stigmas. Fortunately I feel like change is happening with each generation and women are becoming more comfortable doing things first, but as of now there’s just too many of us who grew up having it instilled that men have their roles, they have their duties and for us to take them on would be unattractive and desperate. There was just a poll on here the like a week or two ago asking women if they should make the first move and majority of them were not down with the idea.

[Asker]

I just talked to her and first thing she asked how I was and I asked her to meet and she was chatty so , it looks ok atm. I need to get on it