We only got intimate when she was buzzed?

[Anonymous]

So I met this girl on a dating app, and she goes to university in my state for her masters. She was very attentive to my career and interested in what I was doing because I’m a nurse and I’m back in school for higher medical education. She was really trying to get to know me it seems at first. A couple of days pass and she let me know that she wanted something casual. She got kinda drunk and was hanging out till late one Saturday and I was doing the same in my area. She asked if I wanted to come over later on and I did. We did the deed and she did aftercare and let me sleep until making something up I guess to get me out of there. The next couple of days she was a bit dry but it picked up and she was attentive and was asking me about school and work and even opening up about some past trauma and asking me about therapy. Our primary method of contact is snap so she would even send snaps of her face or full self like randomly or early in the morning (4am) when she’s going to clinicals. It’s been a couple of weeks to months and we are just cool but my friends thought I should escalate it maybe and see what’s the deal. She said “ahhh, I’m okayyy lmao” and I was nochalant and continued to asked how her day was. My question is why keep asking about my life or still snap me these weird facial or selfies and stuff if you didn’t want anything to do with me. I always thought if a guy did a bad job where it counts women probably wouldn’t want anything to do with you. She’s also like tried to do weird things like say her period was late after it happened (then admit it wasn’t), say I messed up her PH (even though I used protection) or have a male friend in the snap from her program ( tried to point an arrow to him on some occasions to make me jealous I guess)

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's a pretty complicated and confusing situation you've got going on with this girl. It sounds like there's a lot of mixed signals and inconsistent behavior happening.

The fact that you two only got intimate when she was buzzed is a bit of a red flag. It makes me wonder if she's using alcohol as an excuse or crutch to be intimate, rather than pursuing it sober and fully present. That could be a sign of some deeper issues or hesitancy on her part.

And the weird comments she's making afterwards - the period stuff, the PH comments, and trying to make you jealous with her friend - that's all super strange behavior. It almost seems like she's trying to create drama or distance, rather than having an open and honest dialogue.

At the same time, the fact that she's still reaching out to you, asking about your life, and sending you random selfies, suggests she might still have some interest or attachment. The inconsistency is what's really confusing.

My advice would be to try to have a direct but compassionate conversation with her about it. Don't accuse or get confrontational, but let her know you're sensing some mixed signals and you want to understand where her head is at. See if you can get her to open up about what she's really looking for.

Ultimately, you need to decide for yourself if this is a situation you want to continue investing in. The alcohol use, the drama, and the lack of clear communication are all red flags. You deserve to be with someone who is confident, communicative and on the same page as you.

If she's not willing to have an honest discussion and work on building a healthy, sober foundation, you may just need to cut your losses. Focus on yourself and your goals, and keep your eyes open for someone who can give you the stability and mutual respect you're looking for.

It's a tough call, but trust your gut, bro. You got this!

[Anonymous]

She's in a sexual dry spell and doesn't see you as valuable enough for a real relationship or a friends with benefits situation. She's likely vetting another guy and was using you to hold her over. Lots of girls sleep with guys while making the new guy wait for sex so they don't look like they aren't easy or desperate.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry, that was a long way of saying to leave her alone. If things don't work out with the other guy (it might even be an ex) she might crawl back to you with a fake story about being busy and see if you're interested in dating her. She'll always have low interest in you though. And you'll always have to try harder, even though she'll still be actively looking for an upgrade from you.

[WhitneySnow]

I think she just wants something casual. Don’t try to push her into something she’s not ready for.