A girl I’ve known for awhile told me something that contradicts another point she said multiple times (read details) does this make sense?

[Danny_dan92]

She has said that she see’s me as a friend.


She told me over the phone that she wants to have a kid with me and hope that it’s a boy (because she already has a daughter) I asked her if she meant to undergo IVF with my sperm and she literally said no to do it naturally.


I told her that it didn’t make sense because she claims she see’s me as a friend. Not to be confused with FWB’s either.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's a really confusing and contradictory situation, bro. On one hand, she's telling you straight-up that she sees you as just a friend. But then she's saying she wants to have a kid with you "naturally"? That doesn't really add up at all.

It sounds like she might be sending some major mixed signals here. The whole "wanting to have a kid with you" thing is a super intimate and serious thing to bring up, especially if she's previously said she just sees you as a friend.

I'm not really sure what to make of that, to be honest. It could be that she's got some deeper feelings for you that she's not admitting, even to herself. Or maybe she was just joking around in some really bizarre way. Either way, it doesn't seem to line up with the "just friends" thing she's been telling you.

My advice would be to try to have an open and honest conversation with her about it. Don't come at her accusingly, but let her know that you're confused by the mixed messages and want to understand where she's coming from. See if you can get to the bottom of what she's actually feeling and thinking.

It could be that she has some complicated emotions going on that she's not fully working through. Or maybe there's something more serious there that you two need to address. But either way, trying to figure it out through open communication is probably your best bet.

Just be patient and don't jump to any conclusions yet. This is a weird situation, for sure, but try to approach it calmly and see if you can get some clarity. Hopefully she'll be straight with you about what's really going on. You got this, dude.

[molonski2]

Its not really a contradiction , I'd say she things you'd be an awesome person to father her/your child , but maybe even see's herself an inferior to you..

She is right about one thing don't pay for IVF if you can do it naturally , I'd say go ahead with it if you want , but you need a contact in writing sating how this will play out , just because you'd be a great father , doesn't mean you'd fit into her life.

[Ms_KnowItAll]

Might not be contradictory. To me it sounds like she might just want your sperm? IVF can be expensive, so the natural method might make sense.
If you have genuine interest in being a father, I would be careful with that.

[mandyfire98]

I mean she could still see you as a friend and still be ok with having sex with you. Especially if she wants a baby out of it.

[Danny_dan92]

It just threw me off lol then the phone call got awkward because I told her to explain herself and she didn’t even want to.

[mandyfire98]

Now her not explaining is weird

[Danny_dan92]

Exactly. I told asked her

“Ok so now I want to know why all of a sudden you’d be ok to literally sleep with me. Because you made it abundantly clear in the past you don’t view me that way”

No response. Strange af.

Ironically I met her off this site.

[mandyfire98]

You met her on here? That's wild

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah, then she only talked to me via phone and snapchat

[mandyfire98]

And now wants to have your baby lol. That's definitely wild

[Danny_dan92]

She’s confusing. Hot. But very confusing

That scene from the notebook certainly applies to her

[mandyfire98]

Hahaha.

[Boromir]

You don’t need IVF to make a baby without sex. You can just use a clean jar and a small syringe. Same success rate as normal sex. There are also people that are less hung up about the emotional side of sex. You don’t need a jar or a syringe in that case, maybe just lube.

[stephanie-ramos]

Breeding kink, maybe?

[Danny_dan92]

Who, me or her?

[stephanie-ramos]

Her. Would also explain why she didn’t give you a direct answer on the phone (I read that part of the story in the comments).

[Danny_dan92]

Possibly lmao she did have her first child from a hookup.

She’s said other comments that hint that she finds me attractive yet when I flirt she shuts me down. She once said she wouldn’t want to date me because I’m not rich. She’s always dated rich men

[stephanie-ramos]

Sorry, but she sounds mentally exhausting to me lmao.

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah tbh it can be like that sometimes. I’m patient so I suppose that’s why it doesn’t annoy me that much.

[stephanie-ramos]

Fair

[Danny_dan92]

But then again I’ve become somewhat of a clam when it comes to dating and relationships. 😂😂😂 and tbh most women don’t like that. (They’re not used to it at all)

[stephanie-ramos]

Wdym by “clam”?

[Danny_dan92]

Like very closed off lol due to trauma. Girls have began to pull me back out of that state but due to it taking time, and given that most men are the ones initiating and chasing eventually they get fed up

[stephanie-ramos]

Ah that sucks. And it’s not your fault.

For me, it wouldn’t be much of a problem talking to someone like that. I love asking and getting to know the guy when we’re chatting. My only worry is sort of annoying him 🥲 Face-to-face is a whole different thing lmao it’s like I forget how to talk.

[Danny_dan92]

See the thing is when I was younger I was a much different guy. I was doing the typical things men are known for regarding flirting and dating.

Do I see myself being the same way ever again? Not entirely. Only some aspects but not all. What you’ve annoyed men in your experience?

[stephanie-ramos]

Typical things like what? Also, it’s great that you’ve grown and maybe even making an effort to open up a bit (even if it takes time) and that’s awesome.

The whole “annoying men” thing… it hasn’t happened. No men has openly told me that I’m annoying with questions here and there. I guess it’s just me overthinking when I’m just getting to know someone. I’m quite curious. They follow along the conversation with no problem, so it’s me in my own head lol. But it’s still a small worry.

[Danny_dan92]

Things like increasing the flirtation and the progression of the conversation or potential relationship etc.

Such as asking for more forms of contact, like the girl’s number etc.

I have done that a few times the past few years BUT as I said I’m extremely closed off. Girls are used to guys chasing. I don’t chase anymore. More so reciprocate the interest a woman throws my way. (Obviously I have to find the girl attractive as well, not just physically either)

[stephanie-ramos]

Ah gotcha gotcha. Personality wise, what’s your type?

[Danny_dan92]

One thing that really catches my heart is a girl with a great sense of humor. Personality wise I absolutely adore that.

Then there’s maturity, being smart, caring, affectionate.

[stephanie-ramos]

Great qualities to look for. What about physical?

[Danny_dan92]

Physical it’s pretty simple lol just being healthy, takes care of her health.

[Jennz6]

Sure thing