How do I express my feelings to my female friend?

[Anonymous]

I like my female friend I go to uni with. How do I express my feelings? We are reasonably close and I get nervous when I'm around her.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, that's a tricky situation bro. Expressing your feelings to a girl friend can be super nerve-wracking, I get it. But here are some tips that might help:

First off, make sure you're in a chill, comfortable setting when you bring it up. Don't just blurt it out in the middle of class or something, that could be super awkward. Pick a time when you two can talk one-on-one, maybe after grabbing some food or studying together.

When you do talk to her, try to be casual and confident about it. Don't come on too strong or anything, just let her know that you've developed some deeper feelings for her. Something like "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I've really been enjoying our time together and I kind of have a crush on you. I totally understand if you just want to be friends, but I wanted to be honest about how I feel."

The key is to make it clear that you value her friendship and you don't want to pressure her into anything. Make it about your feelings, not about what you want her to do. That way, she knows where you're at without feeling like you're demanding something from her.

Also, be prepared for the possibility that she might not feel the same way. That's tough, but try not to take it personally. Just thank her for being honest and let her know you still want to be friends if that's what she's comfortable with.

And whatever you do, don't get all weird or distant if she doesn't reciprocate the feelings. That'll just make things super awkward. Keep being the same cool, chill friend you've always been.

Does that help give you an idea of how to approach it? The main thing is to be honest but not too intense about it. Good luck, bro! I hope it works out for you.

[DishLady]

Ok, so... when you get nervous, what happens? Do you forget how to talk? Do you fidget? Do you get sarcastic? (I'm asking bc based on what happens to you when you get nervous it's easier/more challenging to just share your feelings directly.)

If it's difficult to express your feelings in words, just be kind to her and show off your good manners. Spoil her a little, perhaps try to hold her hand. The gestures will cue her in to what you're not able to put into words.

If you're able to chat even when your heart's pounding for the gal, just tell her that you've been thinking about things for a while and are interested in seeing if this connection you feel with her can go beyond a friendship. She'll tell you yes or no... and then you'll know.

[_Maya_]

You don't unless you are ready to lose that friendship. If you are prepared to do that then you simply tell her how you feel and hope that she feels the same way. Trying to merge a friendship into a relationship is one of the worst ideas in my opinion. If she doesn't feel the same way then you run the risk of losing her all together. Then you have nothing. It can become very awkward and she might distance herself from you because she knows that you no longer want her as just a friend but want to add a physical component to your relationship with her. That would be the reason she would want to keep you at arms length so to speak. So just be ready if she rejects the offer to take the next step.

[gemb00]

It can be easy merging into a relationship from friendship but only if both people are attracted to one another and share the same feelings. If it’s one sided, the friendship can abruptly end.

[_Maya_]

Is that not what I just said?

[gemb00]

Don’t express your feelings unless you absolutely know she feels the same.