How do you overcome the fear of losing people and ending up alone?

[Anonymous]

I recently realised I've made all of the most important choices in life, based on other peoples wishes. I never stoof up for what i wanted and regret it now. I am/was always afraid of having a conflict with people, being dumped by them and to end up all alone.

I want to be able to stand up for myself without stressing over these things. Any tips on how to overcome these fears?

[Anonymous]

You just have to start doing it. I'm sorry.

Worst case scenario, you lose everyone and the choice doesn't doesn't out anyway. But guess what? That's not actually the worst case. The worst case is not ever living, not ever trying, and going your whole life only caring about people who don't care about you.

I had to start, and I did lose a lot of people, but honestly the ones who stayed despite clearly not wanting to be here hurt the most. I'm still very nonconfrontational, making one decision and sticking to it did not "fix" my habits. I am so much happier now though, overall, because I am living for myself just in this one way.

It's worth it to at least try. I bet you may even find people who will really care about you and support you making your own decisions if you get out there and start doing it.

[GoodEnoughThen]

Over the years, I've found personal growth in learning about "attachment theory" and interpersonal or relational psychology. Perhaps explore mental health counseling or making friends that seem interested in their personal growth. Knowledge is power. Lastly, you only die once. What will we regret at the end?

[GoodEnoughThen]

To add, see if you smare a "people pleaser". (I am/was.) Lots of good podcasts and coaches on Instagram discussing this topic.

[virtualwasp]

i have the opposide, the fear ill be stuck with people i hate and can't get rid of

[Anonymous]

Even if that's true that's not why a person ends up alone. A person ends up alone only for two reasons 1. They are not a good person and at some point everyone figures that out. Or 2. They surround themselves with people who are not good people. And as soon as though people have nothing to gain from them they leave.

You can't be afraid of being alone.

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

Id prefer to be alone but can't get two pennies to even support myself despite everyone hating me and wanting me dead or gone