How do I tell my girlfriend she needs to lose weight?

[Anonymous]

She has gained weight significantly and I've been motivating her to workout and keep fit but that's not working. I can't even say directly to her coz she's gonna get hurt for sure. Not feeling attract towards her physically. Feeling clueless what do I do?

[WindAtMyBack]

If she's gained significant weight, I'm sure she already knows. So you don't need to tell her. The only thing you can do is encourage her to develop better eating habits and get more exercise. Both are necessary whether she is over weight or not.

Don't expect a miracle though. It's a heck of a lot easier to put on weight than lose it.

[Asker]

Ofc not bro... Not expecting miracle... Just want her to be more health conscious

[Anonymous]

Tell her we need to talk. Say one of us is getting out of control weight wise. Then say it’s not me lol jk hard one man cause yes women get their feelings hurt easy. They want honesty but when you’re honest you’re a jerk. I’ll have to think about this one.

[Asker]

Exactly man! That's the point why I asked this question coz I can't be honest with her straightaway lol

[Opinion Owner]

No you can’t. Even if she says just tell me the truth then she doesn’t talk to you as much. She says everyone’s fine when it’s not
This is what chat GPT says
1. Make it About Health, Not Looks

Frame it around wanting to be healthy together, not about her appearance. For example:

“Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how important it is for both of us to stay healthy as we get older. I’d love for us to work on eating better and being more active together—what do you think?”

2. Use “We” Language

Include yourself so it doesn’t feel like blame. This promotes teamwork:

“I’ve been feeling kind of sluggish lately, and I thought maybe we could start going for walks or cooking healthier meals together.”

3. Focus on How You Feel

Gently share how it’s affecting you, if relevant, without making it about her body directly:

“I really care about you and want us both to feel good, have energy, and be confident. I thought it might be fun if we challenged each other to some fitness goals.”

4. Compliment While Encouraging

Make sure she knows you still find her attractive and valuable:

“You’re beautiful to me no matter what, but I want us to feel our best—inside and out. I’d love for us to take this on as a couple.”

5. Don’t Mention “Fat” or Numbers

Avoid words like “fat,” “weight,” or pointing out physical changes. These almost always lead to hurt feelings or defensiveness.

Would you like help coming up with a more personal message or idea for how to start the conversation naturally?

[Opinion Owner]

I know for myself I said I wanted to get in shape. Start eating better. Which was the truth cause I ate a lot of garbage. She’s like ok. I said but I’m going to need your help to encourage me cause you know I always want to get fast food cause it’s quick. I said I can get fruits, vegetables, etc. But if you could cut them up for me. I said if you’d like to eat the same as me it would make it easier for me cause I don’t have to sit there eating all vegetables and chicken or fish by myself while you’re eating a burger or pizza or something. So she did. So it was a joint effort cause I know most women want their man to live long, to be there for them. So I said I don’t want to leave you alone by yourself. I want to live longer, be in better health, get better life insurance quotes and be able to go on vacations and things that involve challenges that I would have never been able to do being overweight. I said plus the added weight on my knees, the numerous medical considering being overwinter causes.

[Asker]

Yeah man! Totally agree! It'd be a whole lot easier of we loved together. Then I could just take her along with me from diets to workouts.

[Asker]

If we lived together*

[Opinion Owner]

I see. That can be a challenge. Does she just eat like a garbage can? How tall is she? How much does she weigh? She been going through things that’s stressing her out? Causing her to gain weight or eating more?

[Asker]

Been a year since she started to eat junk all dat and that's the reason.

[Opinion Owner]

Amazing how women tell you to stfu it when it comes to their standards as far as what they want in a man it’s ok to say spew out all kinds of bs.

[Asker]

I don't give such women any sort of attention. That's what they're desperate for in the first place

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly. Probably some girl who can’t find a man that will let her do whatever she wants to do. Just another crazy woman who no man wants.

[Asker]

Neglected irl.

[Opinion Owner]

What’s even crazier is how she can tell you to just stfu w out even having to have a conversation. Then they complain how men say things to them that even if it’s the truth it’s more about how you said it n not what you said. But they will come at you like this chick did.

[itsannalee]

Don’t tell them.
They knew they are fat, they just don’t want to go on diet.

[chrissykerdock]

don't tell her unless you like your life because things will change

[Apple1996]

How about you stfu and try loving her regardless of her weight

[Asker]

How about u stfu and keep your assumptions with yourself

[Apple1996]

Nah your obviously just a asshole boyfriend if you have to post a question here and talk about how you aren't attracted to her. This is low dude like go work on yourself

[Asker]

You're right! Now move ahead

[Apple1996]

That'd be real easy if I moved on and stopped calling you out for being terrible wouldn't it?

[Apple1996]

You could litterally just break up and let her find a man who values her for more than just her weight and finds her body attractive. It's a waste of her time and I feel bad for her

[Staximus]

Start cooking dinner and cook healthy stuff. Ask her to go exercise with you.

[Asker]

That's a good option which I'd have practiced but we're not living together yet