My lazy wife refuses to work because of her mental health issues. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

My wife refuses to work because of her mental health issues, but being the sole earner is exhausting me. I want to support her recovery without feeling completely taken for granted. Any advice?

[Miristheiss]

Any kids?

If no kids, you first keep communicating your expectations and that this is not acceptable. You don't exist to just fund her life while she does nothing.

Is she at least a good wife? Cooks food all the time, keeps the home clean and well kept, gets groceries does the laundry? Or does she do nothing and expect you to do that stuff to even though she is home all day?

Well, start cutting back on funding her life. Get your OWN account that she has no access to. Keep the money in there. Pay the bills and your hobbies, don't fund anything for her, no going out to eat, no streaming... etc. If she doesn't cook, go out and eat alone.

If she wants money for something say no. Go get a job.

[jahaims]

You take care of your wife when she is sick. It doesn't matter if it is cancer or a mental issue. You are stupid so you are confusing mental illness for laziness. You have a very limited perspective because of your low intelligence.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Dude's IQ and my Normal Chest size are 45 !!!111

[SotiCoto]

I'm more curious as to why four people upvoted such an aggressively retarded reply than that it existed.

[Agape93]

She will never recover or get better if she perpetually making herself a victim of circumstances. I have severe mental health issues, I work. My girl has breathtaking issues, she still worked and went to college at the same time.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Whatever, dude.(Such a lack of empathy is the reason Agent Orange is befouling the universe from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave!!!)

[Abbycado]

If you’re really 45 or older and haven’t worked this out, you never will.

[hahahmm]

Unfortunately for you men & women aren't the same. This is even reflected in how marriage vows said by man & woman aren't identical. You bought into the idea that she would pay half the bills or something forever. Your mistake to believe modern ideas while going into the ancient marriage tradition.

Guys who pick women who are traditional (or mostly traditional) don't have this problem cause she could choose to work or not and he doesn't care.

Your options are to get a job where you're less exhausted and tell her your lifestyle has to change for the lower income. Or get a job where you make more money and are less exhausted. I suspect you aren't thinking clearly about your options.

[RavVid]

I can't know how bad it is. The might be no reasonable prospect of her getting any better. Counseling/therapy is mostly unsuccessful.

How non-functional is she? If she cooks, cleans, and puts out you can potentially live with that. If she does none of that and wouldn't leave the house to get milk and won't get out of bed then she is just a millstone around your neck.

I don't think it will help her to support her cocooning but it is also unrealistic to force her into stuff she can't do like working.

All I can suggest without more detail is you both push and pull her into doing and housework is the place to start.

[chiquita]

Mental health is not laziness. If she is struggling, she needs support, not judgment. However, being in a relationship is about teamwork. If you are feeling overwhelmed, talk to her gently so that you can both feel more balanced. Perhaps therapy, part-time work, or even small responsibilities can help her feel better and more engaged. Compassion goes a long way.

[civic]

I understand mental health struggles can be really tough, and it’s important to be supportive. But at the same time, if your wife refuses to work and isn’t trying to improve her situation or get help, it can put a lot of pressure on you and the relationship. It might help to have an honest conversation about how you both can share responsibilities and find ways to support her recovery, while also keeping the household running. Seeking professional help together could be a good step.

[chick]

Mental health is serious, but if she uses it as a reason to avoid all responsibilities, it can become a problem for both of you. Support is important, but so is accountability. If she’s not seeking help or trying to improve, it’s understandable that you’d feel frustrated. In a partnership, both sides have to contribute otherwise resentment builds.

[beenherebefore]

Is she doing anything to help her recover or she just stays at home complaining? If she's not seeing a therapist I'd advice her seeing one if she wants to get over the mental health issues she claims she has. A lot of people like to pretend they're depressed, real depression is NO JOKE.

[Anonymous]

"I want to be there for my wife unless she needs me" "for better and worse until worse". Woman the fuck up, stop being such a ballsack and support your spouse as you vowed to do. Clearly you have no flying fucks for her or her mental health, that is seen by just how you word this BS. You're a pathetic excuse of a man. A coach roach is a bigger man than you.

[Anonymous]

Did you trick her into becoming a trad wife and then change your mind when she popped out a couple of kids and gained a little weight?

If you talk down to her by calling her lazy... she's going to struggle with mental health issues.

Stop trying to return your wife appliance.

[RossyBoi]

Encourage her to claim unemployment and disability benefits for being unemployed and disabled. Your wife needs her own income to be financially independent, and this will improve her mental health as it will give her more confidence and financial stability.

[Billlewis]

I absolutely adore a lazy, entitled woman who expects me to be so dedicated and hard working that she never, ever has to do anything whatsoever.

[SotiCoto]

You're describing a dog.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Basically, I'd have already demanded she get therapy and expect to find a job.

If she refuses my next call would be to a lawyer to prepare divorce papers no exceptions.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Stop being an a**hole and support her through her mental health issues. I know I'm old, but I believe part of your wedding vows said that you took your spouse in SICKNESS or health.

[Sal_Monella]

There is no bailing out. Just budget carefully and give her a small allowance. No credit/debit cards. Assign her in-house chores.

[Anonymous]

Put her on disability social security administration

[SotiCoto]

Divorce her. Don't let society feel like you're obligated to take care of a parasite.

[fivebyfour]

Refusing to work is a mental health issue in itself imho, but what's really behind the refusal to work?,,,

[Anonymous]

i thought men adored housewives and hated career women

im really not surprised your wife doesn't want to work. nobody wants to work.

[avery58]

Couples therapy and talk it out there

[MinaV]

You should be held up for abuse

[Anonymous]

You married her. She is your problem.

[Staximus]

Send her to a psychologist or something

[Glamourous_Stacey]

You're the lazy misogynist

[Anonymous]

Please divorce her fat ass.

[OneViewpoint]

Divorce?

[chocolatetwopointo]

leave

[Aldan1609]

Get her help

[Anonymous]

Divorce