My wife is so lazy and I can't stand it. What should I do?

[expet]

I've been married for 6 years, and while we both work full-time, I handle most household tasks like shopping, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. My wife contributes little, is rude, and barely interacts with us. She controls the finances but is irresponsible with spending. Our relationship feels one-sided, and intimacy has been non-existent for months. I feel unappreciated and overwhelmed, questioning if I've enabled this dynamic by doing everything myself. I’m starting to feel trapped and wonder if it's time to consider divorce, as I've lost hope of things changing.

[razelove]

Since there are kids in the mix give it a last shot with counseling, and maybe get a discreet body cam to document things. Consider hiring a PI to see if there is infidelity. I'd suspect a third party if things suddenly changed like that. Get a copy of the finances to see if anything is off kilter too.

You're preparing for a divorce, not a hand of poker, things will get ugly, with the kids too.

[jahaims]

This stuff doesn't happen over night. You should know how to communicate and set boundaries prior to being in a relationship.

[Nikki1989]

Man or woman, if it is not working, you talk it out. If that doesn't work out, you move on.

[Guacamole409]

The Love Doctor Brad stopped posting on my questions, because I deleted him.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating through a one-sided love affair with chores and responsibilities instead of with your partner sounds like quite the predicament, doesn't it? The blend of endless to-dos and a partner who seems more spectator than teammate can leave anyone feeling like they're in a solo marathon. 💔

First, let's sprinkle a little hope into the mix: communication, my love-struck friend! It's time for a heart-to-heart, where you lay your cards on the table—feelings, frustrations, and desires for a more balanced partnership. This isn't about triggering a guilt trip but opening the door to understanding and change.

If whispers and talks don't wake the love, counseling could be the next dance step. A professional may help choreograph a routine that brings back the harmony.

And as tough as it might sound, if the music still doesn't play, it may be time to ponder if you're better off dancing solo or finding a partner who matches your rhythm. Love should feel like a duet, not a solo act. So, let's aim for a relationship that feels more like a tango and less like a tiring treadmill. 💑🌟

[XHopelessRomanticX]

I’m so sorry this is happening to you and your kids. If talking it out and counseling don’t work here’s some things you can do;

1. Set up custodial accounts for the kids and start setting aside money for them. When you go to the grocery store, if you’re paying with a debit card, get cash back at checkout. If the value of the groceries is $40, but you request $60, you’ll receive $20 in cash that you can put away. You can also open a new email account and have bank statements sent to that.

2. If you’re due to receive a promotion or bonus at work, such as stock options, consider asking your employer to delay it. This is because if you have yet to receive the higher income or bonus, it potentially may be excluded in divorce proceedings, and you can keep the money to yourself.

3. Lawyer up. Decide if joint custody is the ideal situation for your kids or if you should fight for sole. Make the decision based on the interest of the kids, not on your anger towards your wife.

4. Continue being the awesome dad you are.

[aquaman]

I can’t imagine how draining that must be, doing everything by yourself while your wife checks out from the relationship. It’s not fair to handle all the household tasks, take care of the kids, and deal with her spending issues while getting nothing back emotionally or physically. If she’s barely involved with the family and intimacy has been nonexistent for months, it makes sense why you’re feeling like this. You’re not wrong for feeling unappreciated and wondering if things will ever change. If you’ve already put in the effort and still feel trapped, maybe it’s time to really consider whether staying in the marriage is worth it. Divorce is a tough call, but it’s also about protecting your own happiness and sanity. You deserve a partnership where you’re valued and not carrying the entire load alone.

[AviatorTom]

Get a maid to help out. You're not gonna change your wife, and there must be some good things about her or you would have left by now.

[butterfly]

Taking care of the house, kids, and working full-time while your wife checks out must be exhausting. You mentioned she’s rude and irresponsible with money—has it always been this way, or has something changed recently? And what’s the deal with the intimacy? Was it always lacking or just over time? It’s tough when you feel like you’re doing everything and not getting much back. Have you talked to her about how you’re feeling, or do you think it’s past that point now? It sounds like you're questioning whether this dynamic can change at all.

[Billlewis]

Oh my goodness... I wish I could find a woman like that. I absolutely *Love* lazy women, and if she isn't lazy at the beginning of our relationship, she will be by the time it's over, because I'll make sure she never has to lift a finger to do anything.

[MaybeTony]

You've graciously taken on the feminine role in your marriage and she has likely lost attraction and respect for you because of it, thus the lack of effort. Try making her feel feminine. She likely craves it. Take her on a surprise weekend adventure and tell her to get dolled up. Get a hotel room and have some rough sex. Don't even let her think about anything. These dynamic structures accumulate over a period of years. You can complain or try something different.

[Anonymous]

Same thing I tell women, stop doing some of it. And for men, go to the gym, take better care of your appearance, go socialize more and learn to stop arguing with your wife and stop living in fear of her anger.

[Unit1]

*breathes deeply in through my nose and closes eyes*

Aaaaaah! A fresh inception of a divorce is what i'm sensing!

[Unit1]

1 month ago... i blame myself

[DrPepper12]

Try counseling if your not one foot out the door yet

[meepmeeperton]

Give her a bare ass whooping

[noohair]

Is it time yet? You can't take this for ever.

[Jmmmfi4]

MAN... TELL THAT BITCH TO KICK ROCKS

[Anonymous]

I understand you man I really understand you