How to ask my wife to stop sadly wishing I'd stay home from work everyday?

[Anonymous]

It is emotionally hard and draining every day to spend 5 minutes saying good bye in the morning before leaving. With her constantly saying stay home with her as I hug and snuggle her.

When she works we snuggle and I wish her a good day not that she would stay home with me.

Mean while I'm staying home 12 hours while she stays home for me just for 6 with our dog.

Wanting to just quit but there are things that need money can't live on love sadly.

[provokeesmokee]

Just communicate your feelings and ask her to please wish you a good day and safe return.

You could explain how it makes you feel, how you're happy she wants to be home, but you need to make money to keep that home.

Perhaps the big problem here isn't your leaving, it's that you two don't get enough time together or your wife would benefit from a similar working schedule.

Couples therapy is great if you're not sure how the relationship is going.

[Asker]

Thanks for the great answer.
Right now I think it is she sleeps in and has to juggle sleep with waking up for snuggles.

Still with a new relationship learning seeing what the balance is. Cause I think it is not enough time before I leave but also her waking up or being woken up and have gotten enough sleep.

Hard to not sleep in after 12hour work days

[provokeesmokee]

That's fair. Yeah, it's understandable to want cuddles and snuggles, but it's also necessary for you to work.

Good luck!

[LazerBean]

Tell her it makes you feel bad and makes it harder for you to do what you have to do. I totally understand where she's coming from, and I did the same thing when we first got married as well. But once my husband told me that it really made him feel bad, I stopped.

[Asker]

Thank you that sounds sweet

Can you share some about how you felt and why you say it like that?

Were you not happy he worked or just that he was leaving?

[LazerBean]

I totally appreciate his job, it's a good one and of course it supports us. It's just sad when he leaves because I want to be with him all day lol

[Asker]

Awww so sweet
With my job I sometimes feel like she does not appreciate it. Even though it has given me so much time with her and my hours can be flexible compared to hers.

In the mornings I really miss her too and appreciate her job.

[LazerBean]

I'm sure she appreciates it, I think it's probably just hard to make it seem like you appreciate something when you're complaining about it all the time lol but hopefully talking it out with her will fix things.

[Asker]

Thanks and it will just not sure how to say it without her jumping to I'm upset she misses me every day.
Still learning how to best communicate and how will she take what I say in the way I want her to.

Just part of growing together.

[LazerBean]

Lol how long have you been together?

[Asker]

8 months and counting so not to long.
How long have you two been married?

[LazerBean]

We've been married nearly 4 years now. Don't stress too much, it's both of y'all really do your best to keep each other happy, being married only seems to get easier.

[Asker]

Looking forward to easier. Things are a big mess now and in time they will smooth out.
The evening snuggles make the whole day melt away sometimes!

[cjdiqnrncoqbeofna]

explain to her exactly what you posted. she'll understand. maybe a nice alternative would be to suggest that she leaves a note in your lunch or work bag saying how much she misses you and can't wait for you to be home. it's sad having to work and not be with your partner, but it's the way things have to go.

[Asker]

That sounds sweet thank you
We do send little texts and notes to each other while working and we talk on our breaks.
The older couples tell us how sweet we are when our phones go off teasing.

[cjdiqnrncoqbeofna]

you sound like a really sweet couple! good luck

[Asker]

Thank you and we try not easy to keep romance alive sometimes. Life gets int he way even before kids stomp on it.

[cjdiqnrncoqbeofna]

oh yeah. definitely much easier as a teenager