My wife refuses to work and isn't contributing to the household. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

We have been married for 6 years, and my wife has not worked for about 3 years. The entire financial burden is on me. Our payments have increased even more because we bought a new house. The salary I receive is not small, but we have had to restrict our social life. In fact, it would be much more comfortable if my wife worked. How can I explain this situation to her?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's a really tough situation to be in. Having the full financial burden on your shoulders when your wife isn't contributing at all can be super stressful and frustrating. I get why you're feeling the need to have an honest conversation with her about it.

The key is to try to approach it in a calm, non-confrontational way. Don't come at her accusingly or make her feel attacked. Instead, frame it as a teamwork issue - you're both in this marriage together, and you need her help to keep things afloat.

Maybe start by acknowledging that you know she's not working by choice, but explain how that's impacting your ability to maintain your lifestyle and financial security. Emphasize that you're not trying to force her to do something she doesn't want to, but that you need her to contribute in some way, even if it's just a part-time job.

Suggest sitting down together to go over the household budget and expenses so she can see exactly where the money is going. That might help her understand why your income alone isn't cutting it anymore, especially with the new house.

See if you can come to a compromise, like her working even just a few days a week. Or maybe she could take on more of the household chores to offset the imbalance. The goal is to find a fair solution that eases the financial strain without making her feel controlled.

Ultimately, you just need to be honest about how this is affecting you and your relationship. Make it clear that you're a team and you need her to step up, but do it with empathy and understanding. Hopefully she'll be receptive and you can work together to find a better balance.

I know it's a tough conversation to have, but your financial stability and mental health are important too, bro. Don't be afraid to stand up for what you need. With some open communication, I'm sure you can figure this out.

[AviatorTom]

Why did your wife stop working? If it was her choice, explain the situation to her and ask her to go back to work, at least part-time. If she was laid off, and has difficulty finding a job, you're going to have to work together to survive economically.

[4ngelic]

have a serious talk with her and make it clear you dont want to live like this anymore and she really needs to start contributing financially. be kind and not super confrontational. try to understand why she doesn't want to work and using her reasons try to convince her to do the opposite

[TheRealPepperPotts]

There is too much missing information here...

[Horn_Hog]

Pfft, who needs to afford a shower when you've got a good sweat going on from all that hard work providing for your lazy wife?

Now, let's get to the issue here. You do want to convince your wife to work? Easy peasy! Just follow these simple steps:

1. Make sure you haven't bathed in a week. The funkier you smell, the more motivated she'll be to get a job and earn some money for a nice, long shower for you. 🛁
2. Cook up some nasty, burnt meals for dinner. She'll be so disgusted, she'll have no choice but to get a job and hire a personal chef for you. 🍳
3. Greet her at the door every day with a list of chores she needs to do. Make it as long as possible, and don't forget to include some "extra" tasks like scrubbing the grout in the bathroom or power washing the driveway. 🧹

Before you know it, she'll be begging for a job just to get away from your charming personality and awful hygiene!

[diamond]

It is important to talk about this situation calmly. Explain that the financial burden has increased and that her contribution is important for living a more comfortable life together. Finding solutions together can strengthen the relationship. Approaching with understanding is very valuable.

[Asker]

Thank you for your advice, I will try to explain the situation calmly and find a solution together. It is really important to approach with understanding, this way we can strengthen our relationship.

[ArrowheadSW]

It is tough to be a one income household in today's world. The other issue that some couples have, is that the wife has the philosophy that ALL of her income is for her spending, and that the man's income is to pay for the food, housing, insurance, and all of the other household support. I know one guy who had a wife like that and they ended up getting divorced.

[Unit1]

"How can I explain this situation to her?"

Reiterate exactly what you've posted towards your wife.

If nothing changes, then you married a low tier trophy wife it seems. You're likely to rethink your marriage at this point after 3 years, which is a long time to not make oneself useful as an adult in a relationship or marriage.

[civic]

Marriage is about uniting life, if you are working, I think she should work too. You should tell your wife this without upsetting her.

[Asker]

Thank you for your advice, I will try to explain it to him in a gentle and understanding manner. We can be stronger together.

[DrPepper12]

I'm surprised this topic didn't come up before you were married. Why did she not work for the past 3 years? Honestly I would tell her to get off her lazy ass and get a job as you didn't say there were kids involved.

[EmmaMary]

REPORTED...DUPLICATE.

[andreasderjuengere]

All hail to the thought Police, Emma and/or Mary.
Merry Christmas in advance, by the way.

[EmmaMary]

And likewise to your goodself @andreasderjuengere

[andreasderjuengere]

A reply from a sportsman/sportswoman :) Thank you :)

[EmmaMary]

@andreasderjuengere

A reply from a sportsman?

[andreasderjuengere]

I placed some kind of mild ''attack''. You countered it elegantly.

[EmmaMary]

@andreasderjuengere

Sincerely hoping you have made a rapid recovery... And thank you so much.

[Asker]

nope, it is not duplicate

[spartan55]

So, you didn't know all this before you married her?

[Apple1996]

Get another job. Making your wife work is embarrassing

[Peridot25]

Says the gold digger

[WowGIrl4ever]

@Apple1996 😃

[Apple1996]

@Peridot25 nah I just won't settle for a non provider

[Peridot25]

@Apple1996 And no man wants to settle for a lazy wife. If she ain’t working, then she better be cleaning the house. If she ain’t cleaning, she better be working.

[Apple1996]

@Peridot25 my husband just expects me to keep the kids alive and happy lol he would never want me to work

[Peridot25]

@Apple1996 Ok, great! As long as you two are doing something and not sitting around doing nothing.

[Apple1996]

@Peridot25 that's our plan when he retires. Just sit around and do nothing 😆

[Peridot25]

@Apple1996 Nice! Your kids will be grown up and out on their own so have it.

[Apple1996]

@Peridot25 nah only 2 of my kids will be grown by then. My other 3 will still be in the house

[Staximus]

Typical bum attitude

[WowGIrl4ever]

@Staximus that's your thing? Bums

[Staximus]

@WowGIrl4ever I don't like freeloading bums

[WowGIrl4ever]

@Staximus I see this

[Apple1996]

@Staximus not a bum. Women aren't guys. We don't need to work

[Apple1996]

@Staximus working forces women into their masculine energy so they turn into men

[Staximus]

If a woman's husband needs help with the bills and she has time to work, then she needs to get off her ass and work instead of being a lackadaisical manipulative shit bag.

[Apple1996]

@Staximus nah men need to be providers

[Staximus]

It's not 1897 anymore, the cost of living has increased drastically. Time to stop being a bum.

[Apple1996]

@Staximus It's not being a bum. Women don't need to work because that's playing a man's game and will take away her feminine side. It's not hard to afford life on a single income. People are just bad with money management. We tell this user is because he bought a more expensive house when he couldn't afford it lol

[Staximus]

You're not living in reality or the present

[Staximus]

Are you retarded or something? If a woman is single, who is supposed to pay her bills? Jesus?

[WowGIrl4ever]

@Staximus good question

[Apple1996]

@Staximus this question is not about a single woman or even a woman in a relationship. This is a married woman. He vowed to take care of her

[nastyb]

@Apple1996

you're cruel. you would rather overwork your husband to death so you can watch tv at home all day?

[Apple1996]

@nastyb if my husband was single he'd be working his exact same job but making much less. I am a benefit to him

[nastyb]

@Apple1996

you barely have enough money to raise your house load of kids. and you see nothing wrong with it.

you also see nothing wrong with overworking your husband.

what a wonderful human being you are...

you're also a terrible person for

[Peridot25]

@Staximus If Jesus is able to pay my bills, I would not oppose to it 😂😂😂😂

[Apple1996]

@nastyb my husband supports me and my kids just fine. And nope if anything it's the opposite I am overworked and have faced literal death to birth his childern so he has no problem being a provider since that is the easier role

[nastyb]

@Apple1996

you're not overworked.

you don't have enough money to support the kids

your husband can't provide.

quit bragging about how you faced death trying to give birth... so do millions of other WORKING MOMS who also faced death to give birth to their kids.

Plenty of working moms barely have time to recover from birthing. They have to return to work a few days after popping out a watermelon sized baby.

meanwhile you permanently stay home, taking naps whenever you want, waiting for your delicious cinnamon rolls to finish baking in your oven

[Peridot25]

@Apple1996 I’m single with no husband and I have a job. Do I quit my job now until a man comes along?

[Peridot25]

@nastyb Oh! I would love cinnamon rolls right about now. That sounds delicious 😋

[Apple1996]

@nastyb those moms should have chosen better men. Also I'm working in my house. It's ridiculous to assume I'm relaxing all day when I have 5 childern to care for full time. Sure im
having a small break to heal because my husband took 2 months off for paternity leave but I am still caring for the baby around the clock because of breastfeeding. There is no real off time for me. He's about to take off another couple of months of paternity leave to help me even more because even his work knows how important it is for parents to be home caring for their kids and spouse.
You have no idea what my husband makes or our finances. To assume we're broke because I don't work is crazy. Many blue collar men can afford to be providers for their families. It's very for their wives to stay home while they provide

[Apple1996]

@Peridot25 you could find a provider husband if you wanted to

[WowGIrl4ever]

Good point

[Apple1996]

Very common*

[nastyb]

@Apple1996

you don't even have a good provider husband yourself. you are struggling to provide for your own kids... and have turned yourself into a cow selling breast milk to random strangers as a way to feed your kids...

no woman does this type of shit unless they are in a desperate financial situation.

[Apple1996]

@nastyb my husband is a good provider and wtf I have a natural oversupply. It's acutally a health condition called hyperlaction. If I didn't pump I'd get mastitis and get sick af from it. I donate and sell milk because it would be ridiculous to save that much milk when I do not need it. I already have 2 deep frezzers full for my older kids. Anything else needs to go. And many many women have over supplies and donate/sell. There are whole apps and Facebook pages devoted to it.

[Staximus]

5 kids? Have you ever heard of a vasectomy? Getting your tubes tied? an IUD, birth control pills, condoms? Once again, it's not 1897 anymore. You don't need to breed free farm laborers or fuck yourself into the poor house anymore

[Apple1996]

@Staximus I want a big family and were gonna keep having kids. I have no use for birth control as of right now

[nastyb]

@Apple1996

maybe if you stopped trying to turn yourself into a cow, you wouldn't be so tired.

you can't afford to donate anything, im pretty sure you can't even buy your kids decent food

[nastyb]

@Staximus

i known her for years on here. she got pregnant twice by accident.

[WowGIrl4ever]

@nastyb leave her alone this is ridiculous , you've been ganging up on her for two days get a hobby.

[nastyb]

@WowGIrl4ever

she deserves it. she's a pathetic, sick person.

[WowGIrl4ever]

@nastyb just move on it doesn't matter either way. Honestly it's making you out to look like a bully and I feel your better than that

[WowGIrl4ever]

Am I wrong or are you just here to be hateful?

[nastyb]

@WowGIrl4ever

I can't "feel better" about seeing sick pathetic people online without saying something ok?

no, im not a bully for putting sick pathetic people in their place.

[nastyb]

@WowGIrl4ever

you see sick pathetic people lying their asses off, pretending to be the moral upright people they aren't... immoral people pretending they are moral. unintelligent people lying to cover up their mistakes

[WowGIrl4ever]

@nastyb insulting others is the last refuge for someone who is unhappy themselves. Just try to be nice please and move on she's happy with her life that's all that matters.

[WowGIrl4ever]

Me and you are talking totally without being hateful or insulting. 😃 So it's possible

[nastyb]

@WowGIrl4ever

Sick pathetic individuals don't deserve respect

There is a reason why other people dont respect you

[Peridot25]

@nastyb Now I know why you chose this name for your username. It suits you quite well.

[nastyb]

@Peridot25

Believe it or not, im a nice person. But I can't hold my tongue back when I see non sense

[WowGIrl4ever]

@nastyb don't worry about them not your problem

[WowGIrl4ever]

Move on

[HelpfulWoman]

why did she stop working for 3 years? did she work before?

[Daniela1982]

Get a new wife who isn't lazy or entitled. Also, buying a new house at this time was unwise.

[candycane]

Talk to your partner calmly and openly about your financial situation. Set goals together and discuss ways your partner can contribute. Approaching with an understanding and supportive tone will make it easier to find solutions.

[Asker]

Thank you, it is really important to speak calmly and clearly. Setting goals together and looking for solutions makes it easier to manage the situation. An understanding and supportive approach is very valuable.

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

Yeah your being set up for a big fall.

Cut and run.

[andreasderjuengere]

Don't explain. You won't change people.

Discretely look for a side chick, and enjoy life again.

[HighValue]

Did you get a prenuptial agreement before marriage?

[exitseven]

Tell her if she does not find a job in 90 days you will find one for her.

[Crazzyyworld]

you should have pimped her out when she was young. then you would have made a lot of money. now she is too old.

[Staximus]

If you two don't have kids, explain it to her like this - "you need to get a job".

[Staximus]

If she doesn't like that, then you say "you need to help with the bills or move out"

[Staximus]

Tell her you can't save up for retirement when she's being a bum

[Cheerfull009]

She must support you financially, send her email, I will convince her

[Abbycado]

Why aren’t you talking to her about this?

[Staximus]

Because he has raisin nuts

[Asker]

actually, i didn't know how to start the conversation about such a situation

[IknowthatIdontKnow09]

Maybe she could work from home

[KrakenAttackin]

Do you have children?

[KrakenAttackin]

She may be setting you up for a big divorce payout. If she divorced you and has zero income, you will be paying through the nose for years, while she gets back on the carousel.

[msc545]

See a lawyer - soon!

[Jmmmfi4]

MUST BE AN ONLY CHILD

[yvanvangoth]

Divorce her

[jahaims]

Stop being a simp

[In_Trance]

Dump her