Why do unwedded couples live together?

[Anonymous]

Isn't it weird to live with someone that you're not married to?

You're giving them sex and acting like their spouse but aren't married to them.

[WhiteSteve]

I’ve done it twice. Marriage, to me, is kind of a paperwork formality.

I’m not a religious person, so there’s nothing being “ordained by God” to me, so there’s no draw there.

It doesn’t guarantee your relationship if you get married. All it really does is complicate a “breakup” into being a “divorce.” We can go through all the trouble of getting married, it doesn’t mean they’ll remain faithful or not eventually lose feelings for you and/or develop them for someone else.

Marriage doesn’t really give you many protections, so it’s more just a ceremonial thing. I’ve been with my girlfriend over 18 years. We aren’t married, more due to her being very ill for the last decade-plus, and I’m waiting and waiting and waiting for her to recover, then maybe I’d do it, just for the formality of it, for her sake. But I won’t love her any more or less if we do or don’t. I also don’t like wearing rings, haha.

It’s funny, when we started getting around four years together, her female co-workers would start all that shit: “GIRRRRRLLLLLLL, you need to tell that man to put a ring on it or get packing!” And we’d laugh about that, since they literally didn’t even know me, they’re just directing this casual acquaintance of theirs to make a big life decision, based on nothing but some invented timeline.

I can’t even tell you, in our 18 years, how many people we know who met someone, dated, got engaged, got married, maybe had a kid, and WHOOPS, 2 or 3 years in and they’re divorced….. probably because they got married to someone they only dated for like a couple years, lmfao, and they were societally pressured to make some hopefully sound lifelong decision in their 20s or 30s when you’re still just figuring adult life out.

And while we wish everyone well, we can’t help but chuckle at that. What did that ring get you? What did that $50k-100k-plus you or family spent for a one day ceremony? What kind of social validation did that get you? Here you are, another divorcée trying to pick up the pieces, mid-life.

I don’t say that to scare anyone or say no marriage will ever work out. But I’m saying, above all else, CHOOSE WISELY. And many people get so caught up in the lust or the personal or social validation they feel by being “taken” that they make rushed decisions. “We met at 25 and now we’re 27/28, so we kinda HAVE TO do this! If not each other, then who?” And I think that leads to bad decisions, plus a lot of people are just very short-sighted and can’t see the big picture.

Approach marriage with extreme caution

[WhiteSteve]

Oh, and I was just going to say…. maybe it’s different in certain social circles, but most people are having sex within a couple weeks of beginning dating, if not days. So marriage is no longer really the key to unlock sex, except in fundamentalist religions. You don’t have to “buy the cow”, you “get the milk for free.” That’s just what dating is in the 21st century, and the parts of the 20th century that I dated in. Maybe that’s good, maybe that’s bad, maybe it’s indifferent. But it is what it is.

The “living together” has really become the marriage, in terms of making sacrifices and concessions. Since like 2011 or so, I’d say if my lady and I had gotten married, everything would be the same as the reality where we haven’t. Case in point: she’s pretty much been homebound since the mid-10s, sex isn’t a thing she can do more than once every few years, and even then, it’s not like it was, she can’t get into it. I could just walk away, I’m not obligated to be here. If we were married, I could get a divorce. But we aren’t married, and I’m still here, because I love her and I’m committed to her. I don’t need any ring or piece of paper from the Commonwealth Of Massachusetts to validate our relationship, or, frankly, the opinions of people in The Peanut Gallery🤷‍♂️

[Anonymous]

It is increasingly common because men are afraid of marriage these days. More accurately, they are afraid of divorce. More than half of marriages end in divorce, women file 80% of them, and men usually get screwed in divorce court and child custody.

[Asker]

Yes because 80% of men cheat

[Opinion Owner]

It's actually the opposite...80% of men never cheat. You can Google it if you want to educate yourself.

Studies also show the #1 reason for divorce is lack of commitment. Infidelity is a distant 3rd. I know women like to deflect by blaming men, but men aren't even involved in the group with the highest divorce rate, bay far, which is lesbian couples. The lowest rate is among gay couples, and the rate for hetero couples is in between the two. In other words, the more women involved, the higher the likelihood a marriage will end in divorce.

To sum it up for you, the #1 reason for divorce is lack of commitment, women file 80% of divorces, and the more women involved, the higher the likelihood of divorce. The high divorce rate is clearly a women problem, not a men problem.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It’s mostly just to see if living together is a good idea at all. If you find out that the person you’re trying to marry is a total slob when you love a near space, wouldn’t that frustrate you? It would make the marriage crumble quick if you don’t address it beforehand.

[Nikki1989]

The most common reason for cohabitation is to test a couple's compatibility before making a long-term commitment.

[Dennisjf12]

Maybe because one or both of them has been married before & doesn't want too get married again but this couple they love each other so much there can't stand to be apart. Dennis

[Asker]

Or they're horny and want to live in sin

[Anonymous]

Some people want to see a preview of what life would be like before they commit.

[jahaims]

That's the point. My wife and I lived together for years before we got married.

[Anonymous]

They don't what the government involved in their lives