Mixed signals received?

[DM0072]

Hi I'm looking for help with a woman known for a little while but only made brief pleasant talk and introductions in past few weeks. In same circle she gave nice smile and nice chat a few times. Introduced myself then another week later wished her happy birthday when found out what day it was. Appreciated it. She has made consistent eye contact with me over a period of 3 months or around then, I thought this way a subtle sign signal if I'm not wrong? But then the following week, said hi again but she responded with brief abrupt hi.. then from then forward has suddenly avoided eye contact with me and looking away not smiling. Used to sit near me but not now. Can someone wise enough please help me, as I don't know what to think now about this woman going from super nice friendly smiles and lots of eye contact , to this cold harsh avoidance of me. I don't believe I did anything wrong by her , nothing intentional anyway. I'm quite introverted man but I made big efforts to initiate contact with her those few conversations. I don't know if I missed something or any signs but anyway hopefully someone here can help. I don't even know if she may have found someone else? Could be possible don't know. Anyone please help?

[_Maya_]

Is this woman someone you work with? Someone that works at a place that you frequent. There is a lot of lack of context other than you have had contact with someone and they smile and make eye contact. That doesn't give me a whole lot to go on. Let me explain. If this is a girl working at the local coffee shop and she is smiling and making eye contact then I am inclined to say she is just doing her job in the service industry. Another example is if this is someone you work with then she may just be trying to be a good and friendly coworker. So you can see that it is nearly impossible to tell because you leave out key context of who this woman is to you or where you meet her. That would be helpful info. You should use the update function and add that for other users.

[DM0072]

Ok will happy to share more info with you. I know her and meet her at our local church fellowship congregation. I have been there for a few years and she has been attending a year and half. So it has been close proximity for quite some time. She is around early 30's I'm 51. A bit of age gap but decent between man and woman. She mostly sits a few rows in front of me with her friends, mix of guys and girls, some of the men appear younger than her so I would assume it's nothing romantic with them as there is no displays of affections or anything like that. Hope this helps you more and appreciate your input insight thoughts once again? Thank you

[DM0072]

I would also add in the nice eye contact suddenly stopped, gone cold and intentionally avoids eye contact with me now, whatever that means?

[_Maya_]

Sorry for the late reply. I am not on much these days. So that is quite an age gap. To some that means everything and to others nothing. To address the eye contact thing I think you need to understand how most girls think. If I am shy (I'm not but many girls won't make the first move) I will stare and try to give the impression that I want attention. The issue is that if you don't make some sort of move to engage me then I will lose interest and stop trying. That is my best guess of what happened here. Hope that helps and again sorry for the late reply.

[DM0072]

thank you for your input again, but yes certainly women are complex lol. Main point being I did make a move, I approached her a few times before with nice pleasant conversation, I did this a couple of times... before she decided to go cold and avoid me and eye contact. So I did my part. Will have to see how it pans out , for now I'm going to take a step back for a few weeks give her time and breathing space to sort out her emotions. As I certainly don't want to push it too hard , while she is cold and distant like this.

[Anonymous]

Are you really 52?

You sound more like a 14 year old.

[DM0072]

Hi I'm not 14 thank you please show some respect. I do this because the women is different culture and race to me so I don't know her boundaries and ethics and culture yet. Do you have anything sensible to offer?

[In_Trance]

This is nothing. Have an actual conversation

[DM0072]

Hi have had brief conversations as I described in my original statement. Like I said it was pleasant and friendly first time or two.. but now she has gone a bit cool, not looking at me anymore avoiding eye contact, which is vastly different from first few months of consistent eye contact. Do you have any ideas thoughts? She is different culture and race to me

[DM0072]

thanks will try harder

[bunnyboo24]

She could be shy. Does she get red?

[DM0072]

Hi could be shy , but I'm quite introverted too. So bit awkward. I just thought the consistent eye contact was a decent sign before went a bit cool. Was quite pleasant and friendly the first times. But now gone a bit cool like I said in my intro. Avoids eye contact now. Any thoughts?

[DM0072]

Also she if different culture and race to me so I don't know their boundaries and ethics to well so I'm trying to be respectful of that

[bunnyboo24]

Are you 100% sure she is single?

[DM0072]

I think so pretty sure, like I said before she gave me constant eye contact over the past few months, sat near me a few times too.. until this happened. I know she sits together with her friends, girls and guys, a little bit away from me. I sit behind a few rows back. I think she's single, but like I said a bit confusing, I see her occasionally sit with younger man, she is about early 30, s , the younger men appear about early to mid 20;s so I'm assuming they are just friends as from my understanding, women don't usually date or are romantically involved with men younger than themselves would you agree? they don't seem to be displaying couples behaviour either like touching or affection. Her FB profile doesn't show any attachment either. That's why I'm bit confused now. And just for your info I'm mature man 51, she is early 30's. So I think age gap is fine and decent between us right? You can let me know any further thoughts you have? Appreciate your time. any other insights or questions feel free. Thank you

[bunnyboo24]

Maybe ask her out?

[DM0072]

Yes thought had occurred thanks, just with those mixed signals I am concerned about misreading the situation and of course like anyone concerned about knockback/ rejection if doesn't respond the way i like

[bunnyboo24]

Just ask if she has any plans for the weekend. If she isn't interested she will say she is busy if she is she will say she is free and ask what you are doing

[DM0072]

ok thanks

[DM0072]

I would also add in that the consistent eye contact at the start has suddenly stopped and now even intentionally avoids all eye contact with me, whatever that means?

[bunnyboo24]

Maybe she's shy

[Anonymous]

Why do u like her

[DM0072]

Hi I like her because she is very pretty and sweet so obviously some attraction. What are your thoughts advice anything?