He turned mean after I said no sex before marriage—did he feel rejected or hurt?

[Anonymous]

I post suggestive pics online…He became mean or devaluing after that saying “does your dad know about those pics “ …. Did he want to have sex with me.. is he hurt? Did he feel rejected?

Updates

4 mo

Did he want to have sex with me?

[MissSunshine2]

Yep. He probably felt like you were leading him on deliberately. It’s up to you what you do, but if you’re going to post suggestive pics, promoting yourself as promiscuous, you’re going to attract guys like him, who just want sex. That’s what I think he was getting at.

Yes, I believe women can do whatever they want and that dressing or acting promiscuous doesn’t mean they deserve to be used or become victims. Still, dressing a certain way might encourage the wrong men and encourage the right men to move on to other women.

[MontBlanc]

I think it’s natural to feel confused or hurt when someone reacts negatively, but focusing on why they might be upset won’t always help.

What matters is maintaining your own boundaries and self respect.

Choosing to prioritize your growth and emotional health over trying to control or interpret someone else’s feelings is often the strongest response.

[Loki97]

Accountability comes first

[MontBlanc]

That’s true, accountability matters too.

Self respect and growth usually include being honest with ourselves about our own role as well.

[BadApple69]

Guys always wanna have sex. I applaud you for wanting to wait, that’s not common in this day and age. Now this guy turned mean after you said no you need to get away from this guy. He is not the right guy for you.

[heruncommonsense]

correct, males are sluts. males cannot be loyal, let alone pure

[BadApple69]

I disagree. Men can be loyal. Be good to a man and he will be loyal (not all men but most). From the studies I’ve done here women are just as much disloyal to their husbands and boyfriends. Actually at the same rate as men.

[Master_Debator]

Look up "Nice Guy Syndrome" online and please tell me your thoughts on it.

[Asker]

Sounds like a passive guy

[Anonymous]

This is such an obvious question I have to believe you’re a fourteen year old lying about your age. He is feeling hurt and rejected, but that does not give him the right to be mean to you or demand sex from you. Just block him and move on. That being said, don’t post suggestive pics online if you don’t want guys to hit in you or think you’re slutty. (Bikini pics are fine, but no lingerie or bras and panties.)

[sophia2007]

He probably did. And if he truly liked you he would have respected your choice to decline sex.
you didn’t do anything wrong as long as you didn’t promise it to him beforehand and then told him oh no I’ve been planning on saving myself till marriage since forever.

don’t feel bad, everything will be okay

[ProbablyClueless]

Rejected, for sure. There's probably a bit of frustration from the fact you portrayed yourself as a more sexual person in your pictures and then withheld your sexuality from him once you had his attention.

[Asker]

But I told him day one I wasn’t looking for sex

[ammar12343]

So no sex before marriage but you posting sexually provocative photos for the world to see. It’s a little contradictory don’t you think?

[ChaseBee]

IMHO (In My Humble Opinion) he may have just wanted you for sex and not for a relationship. A real man understands that "no means no" and that some women want to remain pure until marriage. It seems like you dodged a bullet because had you had sex he probably would have left.

[BCRanger10]

It's entirely possible. Though you do undercut your beliefs on the matter by posting said suggestive pictures online.

[heruncommonsense]

males always want sex. male virgins do not exist.

[strateguy632]

lol no he was not planning on commitment and you "screened" him out! good for you!

[Nikki1989]

That tells you what his priorities are. Your pics are not relevant.

[Loki97]

Her pics are fully relevant just like any past she has. Accountability is a necessity that women can’t just dodge.

[Anonymous]

He probably doesn't like knowing you had sex with other guys before and now decided to become a "born again virgin" making him wait for something other guys got for free.

[MontBlanc]

It’s natural to wonder why someone reacts negatively, but we can’t assume their feelings are about anyone’s past.

Hurt or desire can show up as aggression, but devaluing someone isn’t justified.

Sometimes the healthiest response is to focus on boundaries, self respect, and emotional growth rather than trying to read someone’s mind.

How do you think people can handle hurt or disappointment without hurting others?

[heruncommonsense]

stop projecting. male virgins do not exist.

[David318578]

How suggestive where the pics? Can you share them here of DM them?

[heruncommonsense]

bro thinks he's slick

[David318578]

@heruncommonsense more curious on how "suggestive" they where, she did post them online so either they aren't that bad or she doesn't care.

[heruncommonsense]

again, bro thinks he's slick

[David318578]

@heruncommonsense slick with what exactly? Looking at "suggestive" pictures from anonymous girls? Lol you realize that the Internet is filled with that right?

[heruncommonsense]

males still beg women for nudes all the time.

[heruncommonsense]

it's about malice, not horniness.

[David318578]

@heruncommonsense Malice has nothing to do with wanting to see naked women lol what an absurd thing to say.

[heruncommonsense]

males just want to batter women during sex. males even admit that they are disgusted by womens bodies.

[Asker]

@heruncommonsense men are gay tbh

[David318578]

@heruncommonsense just because the men you have been with have been disgusted by your body does not mean that all men are disgusted by all womens bodies. Thats an absurd connection to make.

[Loki97]

🤣 ‘i wanna wait till marriage’ *proceeds to engage in single hoe activities* seriously your a joke and you played yourself.

[MannMitAntworten]

He probably just assumed he was gonna get lucky. Dismissed the whole thing and move onto the next dude.

[Mac-One]

We were both young and believed in no sex before marriage but we did it.

[dudeinohio]

You tease him with pictures but you don't put out.

If I was him, I'd dump. you immediately.

[jahaims]

He likes you and it upsets him you are attention seeking in unhealthy ways

[Daytoday79]

Nope, his priority is sex with you, not a relationship with you.

[HollyK21]

Sigh. You just don’t stop.

[Asker]

I don’t know you

[HollyK21]

Of course not.

[beenherebefore]

He assumed you would be easier.

[In_Trance]

Why didn't you have a conversation with him?

[Asker]

About what exactly?

[In_Trance]

How about everything that you're asking here?
Instead of random people guessing, you'd get the actual answers from the person that has them

[Asker]

He ghosted me

[In_Trance]

At some point you had a last conversation with him that surrounded topics that are in your original question. That would have been the time to ask

[Pterodon]

All he wanted was sex

[Anonymous]

It sounds like a poor attempt to flirt.

[Jonettacali]

Have you tried asking him that

[MereAnarchy]

Move on.