Why do I feel so jealous and less valuable than other girls?

Question

I am insanely jealous of other girls; I envy their beauty, their energy, their hair, eyes, hands, the polish on their nails, the clips in their hair, their accessories, their clothes, their friends, their boyfriends, their families—I even envy every single conversation they have with anyone at all.
I’m about to turn 21, and I will carry the regret of the things I couldn’t do at 16, 17, 18, 19, and 20 on my shoulders for a lifetime; you don’t carry such a heavy burden, so don’t tell me to go to therapy.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I learned something a long time ago and that is it's your choice who you want to be in life every single one of us is different in a lot of different ways

If I knew you if we were friends and I lived around you I would make you a bet

And the bet would be and I would even pay for it you have to go down and get your hair done the way that you want it done
Fingernail polish that you like you have to pick out the style of clothing that you like that you think looks good on you but the very first thing you have to do is you have to love yourself you have to honestly look in the mirror and tell you you love yourself more than anything on this planet and then you have to do it

Give it 30 days take a picture on the first day and on the 30th day take a picture of your face and then of your body

And if you truly love yourself I guarantee it within 30 days that picture that you took 30 days before would be different than the end of the 30 days

Oh yeah wait you have to walk 15 minutes a day for 30 days at a fast pace too

No sugar Waters you can eat whatever you want to eat try to stay away from the sweets and the sugar

And anything that you talk to yourself about it has to be positive no being jealous no heartache no negative drama whatsoever

You are happy and you live a happy and you have positive thoughts that's who you become and you start to Glow and when you love yourself you really start to Glow when people look into your eyes when you look into your own eyes you will see it you will feel it and that's who you will become

The thing that I learned a long time ago was if you talk negative things about yourself you put yourself down are you allowed people to put you down and you think about it that's who you become I don't care what it is that's who you become

And if you do it all your life well that's how your life's going to be

If you love yourself you tell yourself you're beautiful and I mean believe it because you are probably beautiful I don't know why girls put themselves down are they dislike something about themselves that's so totally wrong

You have all the answers inside of you you just have to open up the doors to get them out or have somebody in your life that will show you by opening the doors for you you become who you want to become that's the bottom line

So just for the hell of it I think we got to make a bet what do you say are you up for that challenge can you believe in yourself and can you love yourself

And I'm going to say something that I don't usually say that I don't usually talk about but I'm an empath and I feel people energy and emotion and your words told me that you were beautiful

So let's make a bet because I like winning and I guarantee that I would win if you did everything that I said about make a bet I don't care what it is that's just make a bet that way I can win LOL and this way you will learn how to believe in yourself because it's right there within you send me a message let's make a bet

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because you are unfortunately insecure and you are your own worst enemy , stop comparing yourself to other people , and accept who you are as a person , Not everyone on this planet is going to like you or dislike you , Surround yourself with people that do like you , and distance yourself from the ones’ that don’t. Beauty comes from the eye of the beholder , just because you think those other girls’ are more beautiful than you are and you think they have better lives than you , you are selling yourself short , because nobody on this planet is perfect , We are all imperfect people one way or another. So learn to love yourself for who you are as a person and others’ will see that and sense that with you , When you walk around negative and miserable and jealous and insecure , a lot of people will not want to approach you because you let off negative energy, instead of positive energy. You don’t have to be the best looking girl on the planet to attract someone , Attraction mainly comes from positive energy within yourself. I don’t consider myself the best looking guy , but I know I have positive energy that attracts girls’ to me , because I learned to accept myself for who I am , I don’t compare myself to other people , and I am not very judgmental either. i am nice to whoever is nice to me in return. I enjoy life as much as I possibly can and smile as much as I can to make the best of it. I have my bad times as well like everyone else does but I don’t allow it to overcome me When a girl notices me smiling and having a good time , laughing and joking around , it usually draws her into me , because of my positive energy that I am letting out. I don’t air out my dirty laundry, whatever shit I am dealing with is my own personal shit that I manage myself and I don’t allow it to stop me from being me. Think about this , would you rather someone be attracted to you for you and accept you for you , or would you rather someone be attracted to you from what they assume of you? Why assumptions are stupid because it doesn’t mean shit.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I don't know if what you lost will come back but you can change the outcome yourself and put that part behind you one day.

I don't understand why you don't buy yourself cute clothes, experiment with your hair and style it yourself.

I know that when I look nice I feel confident.

What's stopping you from buying pretty nail polish 💅🏼 and wearing it? If it's too expensive for you to buy, they sell all different colors at the Dollar Tree store for $1.25.

There are many videos now that you can watch on how to style your hair and even how to overcome jealousy.

I have never been jealous of anyone and I grew up with a single mom and my sister. We didn't have a lot of money, so I didn't have nice things to wear.

But I wouldn't say that I was an unhappy girl. It's just the way it was and I had to do the best with what I had.

My sister used to say that jealousy is a hate!

I'm sure that you know that hate is never a good thing to do or to have.

Do you feel that if you knew how much God and Jesus Christ love you it might make you feel better inside? Because they love you very much and you have Guardian Angels 😇 around you who love and protect you - even when you're asleep. Don't you think that makes you feel better knowing that our God most high loves you and cares about you personally? Pray🙏🏼 to God to help you to not have jealous feelings anymore about anyone.

Spend more time loving yourself and making yourself feel better by changing some things that you can change on the outside as well. But it's what you are on the inside that draws the right people into your life.

Just don't even look at those girls who you are jealous of because that's what is giving you those jealous thoughts.

Be the best person that you can be and do it on purpose❣️

bobalife · Accepted Answer

Where do you think the root of this is coming from.. is it your upbringing, culture, your environment, criticisms from someone, etc? When we hold such a strong negative self-belief and continuously compared ourselves & our life with others… we would feel a deep sadness, emptiness, and other negative emotions.
Everyone is their own person, own personalities, and stories… which is what makes us all unique. No one is truly better than another person in my opinion. It’s just perception and how you want to carry yourself. What’s the fun in comparison when you can create your own aura and learn to be proud of who you are, who you wanna become, and learning to accept your own flaws.
It’s okay to want joy, positive community of friends and family, and be cute. But don’t let the jealously and envy consume you where you’ll be unhappy, not feel good enough, and thinks you need to measure a certain idealization… the person who needs all that love and recognition is just yourself :) let’s try to be more kinder to ourselves, do what makes us happy, and surround ourselves with people who can accept us and uplift us 💗

At the end of the day, we are all deserving of love, we are all worthy, and we are enough :)

Anonymous · Answer

If your current pain is caused by the past then your past was caused by the past's past, so, in order to change 5 years ago you also need to change 10 years ago and to change that you need to change 15 years ago and so on.

And that, it seems to have been caused by past lives just as the bullet wounds turning into birth defects:

Why do I feel so jealous and less valuable than other girls?

I'm sure there something in it for you. Things didn't suddenly turn sour when you reached 16. ㅤ

Generally i only advise not to cope. This quickens the realization that other people aren't the problem and the solution is more occult than simply lack of positivity or something.

Anonymous · Answer

All are imperfect. You might think they are spending a better time than I do, they have a more typical fulfilling day then mine, they have goals and great partners.. lol.

I speak as someone whose dream of life was: Just to know what an actual normal conversation looks like. And maybe to get to have one.
You can't probably imagine the feeling of prevention, narrow-mindness, and ignorance I felt or I had.
Nowadays, with no self-praise, I am another normal himan being, and try being above average doing powerful presentations/talks even in 1-to-1 talks or small gatherings, and have great insight in a few topic I really care about.
Surely, imperfect at many other aspects, but I interact with those areas in a way that I firstly benefit from, as well as are good for others too.

You have to see what hurts you (see what you lack and makes you feel less or worse) and try your best to improve there.
None is of your own. Paths, opportunities, knowledge, people.. etc all open and come upon you. That's when you start putting the effort to get results and not just sitting waiting them.

Not trying to sound cringy at all, but learn from your problems. They act as eye-openers or guidance sometimes.
I mean it. Deaths of close people. Supression. Insults and mockery.

The thing is, first step ever to solve an issue or a problem, is to know it/learn about it/properly diagnose or define it.
That makes the second step easier. And enables you to become active and realize whatever matters to your problem. Rather than just hanging hope on irrelevant or unrealistic things.

Its normal that we learn such basic yet necessary life skills as those at this age, in this era. Work on them now, so you don't hold them until your end of your life. So you get to understand life and be part of it and enjoy every step whether smooth or rough.

Hope it helps.

Staximus · Answer

Relax, you have most of your life ahead of you to do all that silly shit you think you missed out on. There’s always going to be somebody better looking, with more money or material bullshit, a better education, job, boyfriend or girlfriend, family, or bigger, faster, stronger, smarter, etc etc etc. Life is not a pissing contest. Nobody is the best and has the best of everything, and you don’t need to be better than everybody else to feel good about yourself. Those are unrealistic life expectations. You just need to learn how to accept yourself

4ngelic · Answer

Instead of feeling down on yourself, why don't you try to glow up and do what they do? You also can have nice hair, nice nails, wear cute clothes, have good friends, date, have fun. If you don't do anything, you'll only waste the best years of your life and have even more regret later. You don't need to be perfect and super pretty to enjoy life. Just pull yourself together and live the life you want.

Abbycado · Answer

Stop trolling  How do I cope with intense jealousy and rage toward other girls?

Just_Ken · Answer

Because Sydney Sweeny is hot

onmyradar · Answer

everyone has their own demons, everyone is their own best friend and their own worst enemy. People feel insecure, you may not realize it but some are just better at hiding how they feel about themselves than others. Some people try to act more valuable to try and make themselves feel more valuable, the old, fake it until you make it. I know a lot of people that act like they think they're a big deal but when you peel the onion, they're just as screwed up as anyone else.

Nikki1989 · Answer

When jealousy and low self-worth show up together, they usually stem from a few internal mechanisms rather than actual facts about your worth. What those internal mechanisms are only you can know.

Mark_Est · Answer

Cause you are nuts and unstable. You have been poisoned by social media to always compare yourself. Throw away your apps for a year. And just work on yourself. Train, shop decent clothes in person etc etc.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Damn girl, you got problems. Go get some professional help. it may not do any good. but it can't hurt.

jaksone2 · Answer

It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of pain and comparison Try to be kinder to yourself you don’t have to compete with anyone else

DonaldDarko · Answer

What would keep you from doing these things?

Anonymous · Answer

Focus on yourself and improving yourself. What other people have is not stopping you from having what you want.

onmyradar · Answer

seek professional help, this sounds like something that can't be fixed here, it seems like you might need medication to help with this

AngryCarl3 · Answer

You're suffering from severe thought distortions resulting from unresolved childhood trauma. You absolutely need therapy.

Wincent · Answer

You need to get something positive going on for you and all that negative train of thought will go away. Past shortcomings won't haunt you when you fix the present. And when you do get to better state of mind, you'll laugh at your past.

jahaims · Answer

Parents didn't teach you how to emotionally regulate in a healthy way. Jealousy is an immature emotion that stems from an unhealthy ego.

Iron_Man · Answer

Are you jealous of Sydney Sweeney? Why don’t you go to the gym and feel better about yourself

TonyMetal___1986 · Answer

It's something psychological, find a psychologue...

Elizabeth113 · Answer

Maybe you're fighting your attraction toward women. It’s what I went through when I first discovered.

msc545 · Answer

Anger such as you expressed usually coexists with a lot of depression, which I suspect you're also feeling. You should get treated for this.

Anonymous · Answer

Let it go. Worry about yourself. Others only post their highlights.

Anonymous · Answer

You're valuable to your boyfriend. Relax you'll get one no problem.

Anonymous · Answer

Damn you ugly I see. Beautiful Girls are preferred just the way ugly Girls like you thirst for handsome men.

Anonymous · Answer

Why? There’s Always going to be someone who’s better than the best

midnightmoon05 · Answer

How did your parents treat you?

Abbycado · Answer

Try some therapy. You need it.

molonski2 · Answer

Just be the best version of yourself you can be.

sage2021 · Answer

Who cares about you - nobody!!

slatyb · Answer

See a therapist if possible.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Forget therapy someone should just lock you up 😂

TonyMetal___1986 · Answer

It's just a feeling, doesn't have to be true...

Jersey2 · Answer

Because you are a girl.

jahaims · Answer

Because mommy and daddy failed you

scott04sa22 · Answer

not sure, maybe insecurities?

888theGreat · Answer

You related to jaba the Hut or something

kinks1951 · Answer

Why could you not do things

Why do I feel so jealous and less valuable than other girls?

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How can I stop feelings jealous of girls who are prettier than me?

Why do I feel so jealous and less valuable than other girls?

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How can I stop feelings jealous of girls who are prettier than me?

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