21 and have an imaginary girlfriend. will this lead to mental illness?

[Anonymous]

So, I'll just lay this out...I'm a 21 year old guy...never had a girlfriend...my life is kidney lonely because I only have a few friends that are in school outta town so I don't see them as often as id like...i got to a community college but took this semester off while my living situation was uncertain. I work full time for now..and I'm cool with my co-workers and am somewhat normal socially. but I've NEVER EVER had a girlfriend or even a good date (had one..didn't go well when I was 16)...and not even a single close female friend...and so iv actually always been into meditation techniques and to cope with my loneliness I will spend long periods of time..sometimes hours in a meditative state interacting with a girl I made up. I imagine and fantasize about detailed interactions with this imaginary girl. I imagine going on dates...etc...is this a healthy way to cope or could it have negative effects?

[elements]

It will have negative effects, because when you leave that meditative state, you're probably hit with a sense of loss because you know it isn't real. Eventually that will take its toll on you, and it will only make you feel more lonely. You said you're spending hours at a time doing this -- that is probably interfering with other responsibilities and your daily routine.

I'd suggest getting out and meeting people. Not necessarily girls, but just anyone. Make friends, engage in hobbies, set goals for yourself in terms of work/school. If that doesn't help you feel less lonely, then I suggest seeking professional help.

[Asker]

not too much interference...i only do it in my free time and other than working.i have tons of it

[saphirasilverwings]

I did that for years before I started dating. I never thought of it as having an imaginary boyfriend, I just thought of it as daydreaming. I think it should be fine as long as you are aware that it's only a fantasy and you don't spend too much time on it. However, being constantly lonely isn't okay. Make sure this isn't stopping you from living your real life and trying to improve it and find happiness there. Invest time in meeting people etc, and get help if are having trouble or things aren't improving.

[Eiffelgirl21]

I completely agree. ! +1

[Stacyzee]

It can't really have any negative effects unless you take this imaginary girlfriend to meet your friends or family, then every one will stare at you like you are crazy. But no, this is indeed very different but very fine if it is something that is getting you through your hard time. Have you ever considered joining any dating sites? and sending messages through there? Or even going out to a bar and try meeting some girls there? If you keep to yourself all the time, it will be impossible to find someone.

[Eiffelgirl21]

good idea, with the dating sites! +1

[Stacyzee]

Thanks :)

[martyfellow]

I thonk we all do this at sme level, and no, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Fantasy is often better than reality, right? Actally I think reh felecting ou are doing will help you with a real woman when one comes alolng.

[martyfellow]

Lousy computer on wireless, skips letters all the time. I meant to say that reflecting as you are doing will make you a deeper person, more understanding, when a real woman happens along.

[WoIIie]

As long as you are aware that it's she's not real then it's fine.

Sometimes if I'm alone for long periods of time I start reading/speaking out loud because it's just healthy to do so. It keeps the brain stimulated.

[pepper01]

theres nothing wrong with having an imagination and invisioning your life with someone. everyone will do that at some point whether its marriage, kids, future career or what life will be like for them as they get older. now if you get to the point where you start talking to the girl then answering back and laughing then you might have a mental illness. just introduce yourself when in class and start making small talk to people around you and see how it goes. good luck!

[Asker]

well I do "talk" and interact with her in my head...of course I don't believe she's real or exists outside my mind.

[Eiffelgirl21]

I would it call it an imaginary girlfriend.

I use to do that when I was younger...

You just have an ideal girl in your mind, I think.

No worried, really. I would just go out, ,with you friends,

co-workers, and etc..and find a nice girl! You will...really.

I promise! xx best wishes xx

[Anonymous]

Imaginary girlfriend you say? Hmmm... So long as you understand it is not real and don't lie to people and tell them about your imaginary girlfriend, then I guess there is no hard in fantasizing but you could be using those hours to meet real girls. Not facing an issue that is obviously bothering you might lead to problems latter.

[DianaDDreamer]

Please go out and meet girlout may meet 20 And out of that 20 may be 5 that want u! : ) meaning to go out with u! ; )

[THE_Godfather]

HUH?

[DianaDDreamer]

haha you know what I mean I wrote that and my phone plus not feeling so hot! lol

[THE_Godfather]

I thought you were burning up = hot X 2

[DianaDDreamer]

haha! I think my fever is coming back! : (

[beerY33]

nah, it's healthy to fantasize so long as it's not like, an addiction.

[Anonymous]

Go find yourself a big ol' chubby girl with low self esteem. I don't even think one of those will turn you down.

[moviedude714]

i feel your pain