It's been one month since we had sex?

[Anonymous]

1 month since we had sex or any type of physical relationship. I don't know what to do because it's driving me crazy. I have needs and it's like she won't budge. Anytime I try to make any type of advance towards her she gets mad and will start a fight. I'm so confused by women I don't understand them. In the beginning my girl use to have sex with me anywhere and multiple times per day. We have been in our relationship a little over a year and a half and now there is nothing. I know she has needs and I believe I do what I have to to meet those needs, but I have needs too. I need to feel desired and I need to have some sort of physical relationship. I'm getting nothing from her. I'm seriously taking an emotional hit on this and I don't know how to explain it to her. I don't think I can because any time I try she starts a fight. I don't understand why she doesn't make an effort to please me anymore.

[Deft_maiden]

When a women declines your sexual advances it means:

1) she is not into you anymore ( this can be mean any number of things.) but if you willing and able to please her sexually then it is one of the ones below)

2) she is cheating

3)she is depressed

I'm sorry but you need to sober up and see her as she is now. Meaning look and find out what she is upto.

[popsilicious]

sounds like she's trying to push you away and provoke a fight so you break up with her

[Asker]

see that's the crazy thing. If I let it be and don't say anything about sex, then things are fine. its only when its sex. I understand what you are saying, but don't you think that if that was the case she would start a fight another way?

[popsilicious]

Is she depressed? has she put on/lost too much weight, is she feeling insecure about herself ... you know this might not be anything to do with you ... maybe she's worried about something medical that she doesn't feel she can discuss with you ... maybe sex is painful there are so many reasons she's not sleeping with you. Are you sure she's not seeing someone else? The only way you can find out what is going on is to talk to her calmly when you are both in the right mood

[Asker]

Well that is what she says. It has nothing to do with me, but even so its been a month. I mean I do my best to understand her and help to make her life less stressful. I'm very supportive and I provide for her when she is unable to provide for herself. She has been depressed in the past, but recently no. She's been staying in shape because he have been counting calories together. She isn't worried about anything medical.

[Asker]

she works in the restaurant business. she use to be a bartender and now is a supervisor. She gets texted by some guys asking her to hangout, but she seems to ignore them or makes it a point to tell them she has a boyfriend. I've tried to talk to her, but anytime I do she gets angry and defensive. she says things like "this is all I can give you right now" or "maybe you should find someone else"

[Anonymous]

That's sad. Is she getting into religion more? That's a hard one to figure out.

[Asker]

No, she isn't. She works more than in the beginning. I tried to explain to her how I feel. It's like in the beginning all her attention was on me and work suffered and now its like all her attention is on work and I'm suffering. I feel like there is no balance. She likes to "snuggle" and likes that I'm there, but doesn't understand how emotionaly drained I am. It's like she doesn't care about my needs.

[Asker]

I understand work is important, but how long does sex take? It could be anywhere from 5 -40 mins. I can't understand how she can't give me that amount of time to make me feel better.

[Asker]

I've tried talking to her about it and she will tell me, "I can't give you anymore right now", "maybe you should find someone else"

[Opinion Owner]

Wow... she said maybe you should find someone else? That's major! Sounds like she may have already checked out of this relationship. At least physically. And that is what leads some men to cheat, and women don't realize they made the first move away from intimacy.

[Asker]

she has always said the nastiest things when she is mad, but recently things have been getting worse. She says horrible things that I can't even begin to understand why she says the things she does. I was happy to read your last comment because that is how I feel exactly.

[Opinion Owner]

Have you tried taking her out on a date so she feels special? Presents?

[Asker]

yeah I've done all that. dates, presents, breakfast in bed...

[Opinion Owner]

Do you think she's cheating?

[Asker]

i don't think so, because I honestly don't think she has the time to. I mean it's odd because guys do hit on her and text her and she does tell them she has a boyfriend. and she does call me, cuddle with me, asks me to come home and today she made me lunch.

[Asker]

i just wonder if she really wanted another guy wouldn't she try to avoid me at all cost? We do live together. I just don't think she understand that men have needs too. I don't think she realizes how sex is different for men and women. not having sex for a long time really stresses me out and I'm a content guy and I don't stress about a lot of things.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know. I guess y'all need to have a talk. About the status of the relationship. If she still loves you. Etc. Don't even mention sex.

Ps... women have needs too :-P

[Asker]

i understand women have needs too, but that is why I haven't been bothering that much about sex this past month

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you could masturbate til she comes around

[Asker]

ha I've done that and my hand is beginning to think I'm too needy lol